Mama and I spoke on the phone last Thursday. Below is the transcript. Well, except that it was in Russian. But I swear, this is a certified translation. Or maybe a certifiable one.
“Did you hear that a cat got the swine flu?” I asked her.
“What are you talking about?” she asked me back.
“I read on the internet that a cat was diagnosed with H1N1,” I explained. “In California.” I have no idea where the cat was, but doesn’t California sound probable? The state is enormous, I’m sure there’s a swine flu cat in there somewhere.
“A what?” Mama was acting as though I were speaking in a foreign language. Which I supposed Russian is, but not to mama.
“A cat!” I said. “CAT!”
“What about cat? What’s wrong with Nicki?”
“Not Nicki! CAT!  A cat has swine flu. Not Nicki cat. CAT SWINE FLU. Meow has oink, mama. Can you understand me? MEOW HAS OINK.”
“Meow has oink?” she said. “I don’t think that’s possible.”
“Well, he does. In California.Schwarzenegger is probably involved.”
“World is crazy.”
“”Yes,” I agreed sadly.
P.S. It turns out that the cat is in Iowa.  There’s just no stopping Arnold.
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One year ago ...
- In Training - 2013
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Arnold and Nicky? Is that what you said? Holy crap, he’s too OLD for her….
♪♫ ✿ *•.。.☆•*¨*•.¸¸â¤Â¸Â¸.•*¨*•☆.。.•*✿ ♫♪
.-= Braja´s last blog ..Wisdom prevails… =-.
Twitter: mommywantsvodka
November 8, 2009 at 9:43 pm
Fucking Iowa.
.-= Aunt Becky´s last blog ..Go Ask Aunt Becky =-.
Twitter: Mamabirddiaries
November 8, 2009 at 10:50 pm
i will nurse nicki back to health if she comes down with the swine flu.
Yes, Dr. Kevorkian.
Twitter: wendiaarons
November 9, 2009 at 8:57 am
I heard that cat touched a lot of dirty toilet handles.
It was Iowa.
Twitter: amy2boys
November 9, 2009 at 11:06 am
“World is crazy.” My new motto. Your mom is so wise!
.-= amy2boys´s last blog ..Candied Sweet Potatoes =-.
“Meow has oink?”
Hysterical.
I hope cats really can’t get it; I’ve got more cats than kids.
LOVE the Big Apple Circus.
.-= Maureen@IslandRoar´s last blog ..All Grown Up =-.
Twitter: vboykis
November 10, 2009 at 8:13 am
Cats are useless anyway. Figures they’d come down with swine flu. (Don’t tell Nicki I said that. Unless she can pick up Internet frequencies in her stalker cat ears.)
.-= Vicki´s last blog ..NaNoWriMo: Day 9 =-.
“World is crazy.” Indeed. You are hilarious.
.-= Aidan Donnelley Rowley´s last blog ..Not Wanting Kids = A Different Language =-.