Questions

by Marinka on August 28, 2008

My husband recently told me that he does not want to answer my hypothetical questions anymore. Or other questions that he sees as “traps”.

I think that this is unfair.

I am listing several hypothetical scenarios that he recently evaded, just so that you can see how silly he is being.

1. If I died and you were getting remarried, what would your vows be?

2. If we suddenly found out that you are not our children’s biological father, would you still love them as much?

3. Oh yeah, well, why do you object then when I introduce you at parties as “my children’s biological father”?

4. Let’s say that I maxed out all our credit cards on a winning fall wardrobe. Would you eventually forgive me? And how long would this “eventually” be?

5. Would you still love me if I had a penis?

6. Why would you still love me if I had a penis? DO YOU NOT LOVE ME WITHOUT A PENIS?

7. If you were to leave me for another woman, who would it be?

8. If we were getting a divorce, would you get a really aggressive lawyer, or try to mediate with me?

9. I said, “mediate”, not “meditate”. But what’s wrong with “meditation”?

10. No, not “medicate”. Although if you had to “medicate” me, what pills would you choose? And would you make sure that I could still drink when I was on them?

11. Do you think that I gained more weight on my thighs or stomach?

One year ago ...

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{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Melissa August 28, 2008 at 8:03 am

Oh yeah. Those are traps. But exquisite, funny traps that you should lay out every once in a while. 🙂

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Jozette August 28, 2008 at 9:11 am

aaaaaaaaahhahahahhahha. this really made me laugh. like, out loud. you could even say i lol’ed. or, um… l’ed o l. yep.

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Mama Ginger Tree August 28, 2008 at 10:42 am

You husband provides lots of good blog material.

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h31n0us August 28, 2008 at 11:18 am

Traps, all of them. It’s best to walk away since they are usually too complicated to defuse. I can’t do this with my wife and you’ve opened the door…

1. I could never even consider getting remarried after the perfection that is you dear.
2. Them sure, you no.
3. I won’t anymore as long as I can intro you as, ‘the oven the buns came outta.
4. Yes, in ten years when you’re still wearing that awesome wardrobe.
5. Yes, but from afar.
6. *silence*
7. see #1, then *no response to further questions*
8. It would be your choice love of my life, you take it all.
9. Nothing at all, I think I will right now, *silence*
10 cyani…um…vodka. and yes, you can still drink while on vodka.
11. I thought you had lost in both areas.

all in fun…guys gotta try where we can.

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Marinka August 28, 2008 at 1:45 pm

Melissa- traps of love, you mean!

Jozette-L’d oL sounds strangely French to me. Oui, it does.

Mama Ginger Tree- he does, and the best part is that he doesn’t even know it!

H31-Nicely done, my hat’s off to you. Except that I wasn’t wearing a hat.

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anymommy August 28, 2008 at 1:52 pm

I love stopping by here for my quick laugh in the morning. You consistently deliver. It’s quite a gift you have. Two gifts rolled into one really: brilliant sarcasm and husband torture.

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Z August 28, 2008 at 4:07 pm

Bwahaha! Maybe I should ask my husband some of those??? On second thought… Nah…

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sdl August 28, 2008 at 5:26 pm

I think it might be time for you to stop being on vacation and go back to work. I am 99% sure that Mr. Marinka would agree with me.

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Vodka Mom August 31, 2008 at 5:44 am

now you are REALLY cracking me up! I love these no win scenarios. HA We so need to have drinks together. I’ll buy.

1000. If you could only have drinks with one funny, twisted blogger, who would it be???

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texasholly November 5, 2008 at 7:27 am

HE IS SOOOO UNREASONABLE! Those are perfectly good questions that need answers ASAP.

I loved this!

Thanks for linking today!

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Debbie November 5, 2008 at 8:23 am

This is hysterical. Are you going to post his answers that we can’t infer?

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TX Poppet November 5, 2008 at 8:35 am

Very funny! So glad I found this post via Holly.

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Connie November 5, 2008 at 1:35 pm

I think those are all legitimate questions.

Very Funny!

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The Stiletto Mom November 5, 2008 at 7:11 pm

I hope you don’t mind…I’m stealing all those questions. My standard, “Does this make me look fat?” has worn so thin and I’m just not nearly as good as you.
In fact, I think I’ll try them tonight…I’ll let you know how it goes!

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