So my kids are on spring break, and we are visiting my in-aws in lovely North Carolina. I am here without my husband, which normally would qualify me for some kind of sainthood, except I happen to really like my in-laws. I know there are some other bloggers boast about their monsters-in-law. Sure, it must be tough to have an acrimonious relationship with their in-laws, except for the part where they get awesome blog and crime drama fodder every time they visit. No such luck for me.
Don’t get me wrong, we were off to a promising start when the day before the wedding my mother-in-law-to-be told me that one of her relatives asked her how to pronounce my last name and she said “what does it matter? She won’t have it much longer!” Oh, how we laughed when I told her that I would have it for the rest of my life because I was not going to change my name to my husband’s! There were a few gasps and a “why would you do that?” but somehow that issue didn’t take.
There was another spark of hope recently when my in-laws’ hearing started to wane so I could hear them talking in their room in very loud voices. And every once in a while I hear then in their room say “Marinka” and although I expect it to be followed by “whore bitch” or preceeded by “Our son could have done so much better than” so far it hasn’t been. (This has been especially difficult for me because years before I got married I was walking my then-still-alive Basset Hound Mavis on the street ((as opposed to walking her in my bathtub or something)) and there were some Russian-speaking-construction workers on the street who saw us and one said to another in Russian “look at that fucking whore of a dog with her ass so low to the ground, looks just like her owner!” and I turned around and said, in Russian, “thank you, I’ll take that as a compliment” and the guy recovered quickly and said “I just meant that you’re both redheads.” That moment may have been the highlight of my life. Until the kids were born. And I started getting blonde highlights.)
But fingers crossed!
I think the problem is that my in-laws are nice people and really love my kids.
My mother-in-law is a great cook who is teaching my teenage daughter some of her best recipes.
And my father-in-law is completely charming and funny. Like yesterday morning I was having a cup of coffee (that he made) and watching The Today Show while he was reading the newspaper.
“Is having the TV on disturbing you?” I asked him.
He set the paper down.
“Are you kidding me?” He asked. “I was in World War II, I served my country honorable and you ask me if the TV bothers me?”
This is what I have to put up with on vacation.
I hope you know whose fault it is that I have no blog fodder.