Thanks to My In- Laws, I Have No Blog Fodder

by Marinka on March 27, 2012

So my kids are on spring break, and we are visiting my in-aws in lovely North Carolina. I am here without my husband, which normally would qualify me for some kind of sainthood, except I happen to really like my in-laws. I know there are some other bloggers boast about their monsters-in-law. Sure, it must be tough to have an acrimonious relationship with their in-laws, except for the part where they get awesome blog and crime drama fodder every time they visit. No such luck for me.

Don’t get me wrong, we were off to a promising start when the day before the wedding my mother-in-law-to-be told me that one of her relatives asked her how to pronounce my last name and she said “what does it matter? She won’t have it much longer!” Oh, how we laughed when I told her that I would have it for the rest of my life because I was not going to change my name to my husband’s! There were a few gasps and a “why would you do that?” but somehow that issue didn’t take.

Fume.

There was another spark of hope recently when my in-laws’ hearing started to wane so I could hear them talking in their room in very loud voices. And every once in a while I hear then in their room say “Marinka” and although I expect it to be followed by “whore bitch” or preceeded by “Our son could have done so much better than” so far it hasn’t been. (This has been especially difficult for me because years before I got married I was walking my then-still-alive Basset Hound Mavis on the street ((as opposed to walking her in my bathtub or something)) and there were some Russian-speaking-construction workers on the street who saw us and one said to another in Russian “look at that fucking whore of a dog with her ass so low to the ground, looks just like her owner!” and I turned around and said, in Russian, “thank you, I’ll take that as a compliment” and the guy recovered quickly and said “I just meant that you’re both redheads.” That moment may have been the highlight of my life. Until the kids were born. And I started getting blonde highlights.)

But fingers crossed!

I think the problem is that my in-laws are nice people and really love my kids.

My mother-in-law is a great cook who is teaching my teenage daughter some of her best recipes.

And my father-in-law is completely charming and funny. Like yesterday morning I was having a cup of coffee (that he made) and watching The Today Show while he was reading the newspaper.

“Is having the TV on disturbing you?” I asked him.

He set the paper down.

“Are you kidding me?” He asked. “I was in World War II, I served my country honorable and you ask me if the TV bothers me?”

See?

This is what I have to put up with on vacation.

I hope you know whose fault it is that I have no blog fodder.

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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Goon Squad Sarah March 27, 2012 at 9:30 am

I like my in-laws too. I know – so boring.

Maybe if I learned to speak Russian…

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Hope March 27, 2012 at 10:11 am

Wow. I am so sorry. I wish I could lend you my MIL.

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Kate
Twitter:
March 27, 2012 at 10:18 am

That sounds wonderful! Enjoy the vacation and the fact that you’ve successfully built a strong relationship out of what is most elusive for many.

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meekasmommy March 27, 2012 at 12:03 pm

I really, really feel for you. I mean, the things you have to put up with – someone making you coffee? And teaching your daughter to cook so that she can, someday, feed you herself? Indeed! ;)

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Alexandra March 27, 2012 at 1:38 pm

I love his answer and I’m going to use it for every question I get today, b/c there is no better answer:

“Are you kidding me?I was in World War II, I served my country honorable and you ask me if the TV bothers me?”

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Alexandra March 27, 2012 at 1:39 pm

P.S. Hope’s comment cracked ME up.

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Alecia March 27, 2012 at 4:40 pm

I *wish* I could use my parents and in-laws as fodder for blogging. Because…believe me I have some stuff. Alas, they actually read my blog and I’ve found out the hard way when they won’t stop pestering me about things I write that they think might be about them.

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Tonya March 27, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Maybe you should watch an episode of the Kardashians or Real Housewives of BH and just mimic Kris Jenner or Brandi Glanville. They’ll hate you in no time!

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Wendi
Twitter:
March 27, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Can you tell me how to say that basset hound line in Russian? I just know it’s going to prove useful at some point.

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the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
March 27, 2012 at 10:47 pm

When my husband wanted me to change my last name, I said, “if you change JUST your middle name to my last name, then I’ll change my last name.” He ever mentioned it again.

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tracy@sellabitmum
Twitter:
March 27, 2012 at 11:46 pm

I just spent a week with my in-laws yet without my husband also. They like me so much better when he’s not around.

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Deborah J March 28, 2012 at 4:39 am

I can’t lend you my mother-in-law because she has passed on to the land of happy memories….but I have a few stories I could lend.

How about the first time I met her when she said, “Everyone likes Michael you know.”
Yes, because I am obviously chopped liver.

…or when my mother passed away and she said, “You have to like me now, because I’m all you’ve got.”
Not if I don’t want to…

…or when my 5 year old came home with a feather duster.
“Oh, did nanny give you that?”
“No, it’s for you mummy. Nanny says I have to teach you how to use it.”
May she rest in peace.

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Stasha
Twitter:
March 28, 2012 at 12:05 pm

My mil is in nc too. I think she is very nice. I also live on the left coast…
I stood in line once at Louvre and this posh lady was telling her adult son how no women can parallel the beauty of the ‘homegrown’ Balkan ones. They then took the time to analize everything that is wrong with me and why he would never ask me on a date. I would never have said yes either. He was probably my cousin…

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Maricris @ SittingAround March 28, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Wow, you’re in-laws are great. Mine are also nice, but I seldom see them.

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Cy
Twitter:
March 31, 2012 at 12:27 am

My in-laws were very nice, too, but are now long gone. Not to worry though as my husband grows more and more like his father every day! (<Not exactly a turn-on.)

I was going to keep my name, but my husband objected strenuously. He has no memory of this now, so I apparently did it for nothing.

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