Things I Would Say if I Were a Porn Star

by Marinka on May 30, 2009

1. Yum! Who brought the whipped cream and the bananas?

2. Deep WHAT?

3. Excuse me, but this penis seems to be made out of black rubber.

4. No, thanks. I’m a little chilly, I think I’ll keep these on.

5. Ok, this part here says that he comes to fix my sink and then suddenly, I’m on my knees? Are there some pages missing in between? Am I impressed that he fixed the sink really well?

6. Oh, this music is so beautiful! Beethoven?

7. That is so not what “Magna Cum Laude” means.

8. OMG, I’ve played this game on message boards before and my porn name is “Barbie Broadway!”

9. What? No, I’m not here for the MIH(ave)N(o)D(esire)T(o)F casting.

10. Hey, after work, let’s all get together and read “Ulysses”!

One year ago ...

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