Today’s The Day!

by Marinka on May 16, 2012

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you’ve probably suspected that I’m on a brink of a nervous breakdown and maybe you even have a little side pool going about when the day that I finally snap will be.

Well, great news! If you picked Wednesday, May 16th, 2012, you get to cash in because it happened. My fragile mind snapped.

And this is all it took.

You know the cheddar goldfish that we all weaned our kids on?

A delicious snack, right? I mean until the moment that a kid stepped on one and it became lodged in our carpet for months?

Screen Shot 2012 05 16 at 7.08.10 AM Todays The Day!

Anyway, the goldfish made sense because it was cheddar-orange, the official color of goldfish. It was practically seafood. And very educational. A child could eat the goldfish while thinking “goldfish are orange! I know my colors!” (The goldfish is wearing sunglasses because of the cheddar-glare of the other goldfish.)

So the kids ate orange goldfish the way God and Pepperidge Farm intended it to be and all was well in the world.

Except then this came on the scene:

Screen Shot 2012 05 16 at 7.14.50 AM Todays The Day!

And I was all “what?” Because it seemed clear that there was some kind of animal cheese trademark infringement going on, but more importantly, since when are bunnies orange? And then I read the fine print and realized that the Cheddar was “aged” which means old, so maybe the bunnies were really white but got all yellowish because they are incontinent, if you get my drift.

So it is still educational, in a way, because kids are learning about the circle of life and also why Lisa Rinna has been modeling Depend.

But yesterday.

Yesterday, I saw this.

Screen Shot 2012 05 16 at 7.23.37 AM Todays The Day!

And that’s when the world stopped making sense.

Because there are certain truths that we, as a country, hold to be self-evident and at the very top of that list is that penguins are black and white.

I know that it may not be politically correct to come out and say it this election year, but fuck it. Penguins are black and white and don’t belong in the cheddar world.

And if someone thinks that I’m against penguins– nothing could be further from the truth and I have absolutely no problem with Penguin Oreo cookies.

But orange penguins? That doesn’t even make sense scientifically. And therefore should be banned.

Some things are just black and white.

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Did you know that this week marks The Mouthy Housewives‘ 3rd birthday? Hop on over and answer my question!

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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

Loukia May 16, 2012 at 7:56 am

Okay, this might put you over the edge, but Goldfish now also come in Rainbow colors, AND chocolate. Which I’d never eat because Golffidh ate not my go to food when I’m having a sweet/chocolate craving. The rainbow over are even weirder.

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Issa
Twitter:
May 16, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Admit it…you had today in the pool didn’t you? You already won LouLou, leave the poor woman alone. ;)

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cocobean May 16, 2012 at 8:59 am

it’s a result of the hole in the ozone layer… global warming and UV rays and all that… Look for Al Gore’s new children’s book “The Day the Penguins Turned Orange” coming soon…

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tracy@sellabitmum
Twitter:
May 16, 2012 at 9:32 am

This is so wrong. I won’t even let my kids eat the rainbow fish because they are just so wrong.

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K-Line May 16, 2012 at 9:34 am

OMG – my kid loves Goldfish – and Penguins! Seems optimal to me, regardless of how weird it is.

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Tracy Beckerman May 16, 2012 at 9:45 am

When one of my kids was little, I found him trying to scoop our real goldfish out of the bowl to lick it and see if it tasted like cheddar. All I have to say is THANK GOD we do not have any penguins around here.

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Laurie
Twitter:
May 16, 2012 at 10:09 am

Those cheddar bunnies taste like sadness.

Now I’m a little worked up about gummy bears all of a sudden.

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DawnA May 16, 2012 at 11:08 am

Since you refer to incontinence and Depends in this post could it possibly be a part two for the previous post? Or just coincidence?

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Jen Anderson
Twitter:
May 16, 2012 at 11:14 am

They could’ve used white cheddar for the penguins. Now, it’s just an abomination.

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Suniverse
Twitter:
May 16, 2012 at 11:43 am

Goddamnit, Marinka, I had TOMORROW in the pool. You couldn’t hold out one more day? I mean, sure, orange penguins are an abomination, but help a sister out.

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Wendi
Twitter:
May 16, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Those are global warming penguins. DUH.

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Issa
Twitter:
May 16, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Those don’t even look like penguins. We stick to regular fish around here. Mostly because they taste better than the bunnies.

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Peajaye
Twitter:
May 16, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Why are you encouraging your children to eat goldfish, bunnies, and penguins to begin with? This is outrageous. I’m reporting you to PETA.

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anna see May 16, 2012 at 2:47 pm

i totally agree! have you seen the cheddar SHARKS???? Puh-leazzze.

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Jenna May 16, 2012 at 4:09 pm

HA! Love it!

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Lisa May 18, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Am I the only person that thinks it is ironic that Lisa Rinna is on the Depends commercials and is selling a book called “The Big Sexy Book of Sex” or something like that?

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