If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you’ve probably suspected that I’m on a brink of a nervous breakdown and maybe you even have a little side pool going about when the day that I finally snap will be.
Well, great news! If you picked Wednesday, May 16th, 2012, you get to cash in because it happened. My fragile mind snapped.
And this is all it took.
You know the cheddar goldfish that we all weaned our kids on?
A delicious snack, right? I mean until the moment that a kid stepped on one and it became lodged in our carpet for months?
Anyway, the goldfish made sense because it was cheddar-orange, the official color of goldfish. It was practically seafood. And very educational. A child could eat the goldfish while thinking “goldfish are orange! I know my colors!” (The goldfish is wearing sunglasses because of the cheddar-glare of the other goldfish.)
So the kids ate orange goldfish the way God and Pepperidge Farm intended it to be and all was well in the world.
Except then this came on the scene:
And I was all “what?” Because it seemed clear that there was some kind of animal cheese trademark infringement going on, but more importantly, since when are bunnies orange? And then I read the fine print and realized that the Cheddar was “aged” which means old, so maybe the bunnies were really white but got all yellowish because they are incontinent, if you get my drift.
So it is still educational, in a way, because kids are learning about the circle of life and also why Lisa Rinna has been modeling Depend.
Yesterday, I saw this.
And that’s when the world stopped making sense.
Because there are certain truths that we, as a country, hold to be self-evident and at the very top of that list is that penguins are black and white.
I know that it may not be politically correct to come out and say it this election year, but fuck it. Penguins are black and white and don’t belong in the cheddar world.
And if someone thinks that I’m against penguins– nothing could be further from the truth and I have absolutely no problem with Penguin Oreo cookies.
But orange penguins? That doesn’t even make sense scientifically. And therefore should be banned.
Some things are just black and white.
Did you know that this week marks The Mouthy Housewives‘ 3rd birthday? Hop on over and answer my question!
One year ago ...
- Moiety - 2012