Upstairs, Downstairs

by Marinka on October 9, 2011

Cast of characters:

Marinka, a 40-something year old wife and mother. When our scene opens, she is in the kitchen, weeping. Mostly because she is chopping onions, but also for humanity.

Young Ladrinka, a 10 year old boy. In the living room, on the couch, playing the Wii.

* * *

Young Ladrinka: Mom, I’m thirsty. Can you get me some juice?

Marinka: You’ll have to get it yourself, I’m busy right now.

Young Ladrinka: Juice, please.

Marinka: My hands are dirty, get it yourself.

Young Ladrinka: MOM!


Young Ladrinka: ::sighing, coming into the kitchen:: I guess I’m a servant around here.

Marinka: How can you be a servant if you’re just getting your own apple juice?

Young Ladrinka: It’s fine, mom, really. No need to talk to the help. I’m just a servant getting something to drink before returning to my servant work.

Marinka: What kind of a servant has the job of playing the Wii?

Young Ladrinka: All because you were too “busy” to get me some juice.

Marinka: The Wii! You’re just playing the Wii!

Young Ladrinka: Enjoy your garlic, knowing that your son was thirsty and had to be a servant to get a drink.

Marinka: Those are onions, not garlic.

Young Ladrinka: Your servant is sorry.

Marinka: Can you get me a towel? I need to wipe off the cutting board.

Young Ladrinka: The servant is now on break.

Marinka: Ok, forget it.

Young Ladrinka: If I got a raise, I’d get you a towel.

Marinka: …

Young Ladrinka: No raise for servant. No towel for mom.

I tell you, it’s really hard to get good help these days.

One year ago ...

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{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }

By Word of Mouth Musings
October 9, 2011 at 5:42 pm

Your ‘servant’ is possibly in need a good smack upside the head as us British say!


b a seagull
October 9, 2011 at 6:03 pm

Mother, wife, daughter, daughter-in-law, friend, author, blogger, facebooker, twitterer…

Has Ladrinka NOT read the list?


October 9, 2011 at 6:26 pm

In my house, that Wii would so disappear from the servants’ quarters….


Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes October 10, 2011 at 7:34 am

I’d say sent him to butler school…


October 10, 2011 at 9:29 am

Wii makes mii crazii


October 10, 2011 at 10:00 am

You know, I would be quite proud of that boy.

He already knows how to work it.

High 5, mama….


Megan October 10, 2011 at 10:27 am

And I bet you thought it would be the daughter who’d be the drama queen.


October 10, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Sometimes when I tell my servant to get something for herself because she has the legs to do it – she says to me “but your legs are longer, faster and more experienced.” I’m never sure how to reply to that.


Cranky Old Man
October 10, 2011 at 3:01 pm

“Because Your a Moron” was right, now following.

Cranky Old Man


Lady Jennie October 10, 2011 at 4:02 pm

I tried to SU this for the very first time, but I forgot my password so it has to get sent to my e-mail. I’ll stumble upon it again in the future.

Loved it.


Scottsdale Girl
October 10, 2011 at 6:09 pm

I can’t think of a witty comment because this is my life, but my stepson is 14, almost 15 and assumes we all exist to serve him.

OY the the muthfuggin VEY


dusty earth mother October 10, 2011 at 7:16 pm

Time for the help to get a paper route to help pay for onions.


October 10, 2011 at 7:30 pm

Oh my goodness! I agree with Dusty Earth Mother. Get that kid a paper route so he can hire a servant to fetch him apple juice. Boy, oh boy.


rebeccaNYC October 10, 2011 at 8:24 pm

Well, Thanksgiving is coming up, and I can think of a few homeless shelters that need some help dishing out dinners for people without wii. Some are even Young Ladrinka’s age. Maybe he could make some friends there?


the mama bird diaries
October 10, 2011 at 9:17 pm

I can not believe you didn’t get him his juice.


Loukia October 10, 2011 at 11:06 pm

Yeah. It’s the same in my house, too… and likely will be until my boys move out when they’re 26 and ready to get married… and move next door…


Beth October 11, 2011 at 12:49 am

Hahaha, I love how he tries to “work the system.” When my sister and I were younger, my mom used to joke that the only reason she had kids was so that we could be her servants. But I think everyone knows that it works the other way.


Sophie@Fabrications October 11, 2011 at 3:19 am

That boy is good. Really good.


October 11, 2011 at 11:21 am

That poor boy.
Starving children in Ethiopia pity him, at least their parents TRY.


Tonya October 11, 2011 at 3:06 pm

This is one of the reasons I love Young Ladrinka! He is totally just like you, Marinka!!!!


Scary Mommy
October 11, 2011 at 8:04 pm

You really need a TV show. For us. Just do it for us.


October 11, 2011 at 11:32 pm

You are so much more patient than me! My children have all used the “What am I? A servant?” But they only uttered it once before the realized, via a few chores, what a servant really does.


Steph October 12, 2011 at 12:12 am

Bless your heart for this post. I had given my older daughter the task of emptying the dishwasher. Whilst performing said task, she kept saying “I’m cinderella” over an’ over again. Oh, isn’t motherhood fun!?


joeinvegas October 12, 2011 at 5:11 pm

How about no towel for the mom no Wii for the servant?


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