X Reasons You Should Be Glad I Didn’t Blog When I Was in My XXs

by Marinka on January 31, 2013

Or for those of you not living in Ancient Rome, 10 Reasons You Should Be Glad I Didn’t Blog When I Was in my 20s.

10. I was pretentious. I used Roman Numerals. (related: I recently got a PR pitch about how to make Superbowl Sunday Math-tastic. Example: For older kids, put a fun – and challenging – twist on regular addition and subtraction by introducing the concept of Roman numerals; then, use this different number system to practice adding and subtracting. L minus X (50 – 10) equals 40; V plus II (5 + 2) equals 7. OMFG.)

9. THIS.

 

meandpopcorn X Reasons You Should Be Glad I Didnt Blog When I Was in My XXs

And the whole “here I sit looking sad on my college dorm room bed, even though my friend is taking this picture and I’m wearing a Rolex watch that my parents gave me for the incredible achievement of graduating from high school. Also for some strange reason, there’s a giant bag of Herr’s popcorn on the bed behind me.” I guess a picture really is worth a thousand calories.

 

8. I was a feminist. I still am a feminist, but in my 20s I was the type of feminist who said things like “I’m going to my Herstory class now.” Out loud.

7.  I didn’t have any kids, so it would have been really hard to write the Motherhood in NYC blog. Not authentic at all.

6. Mama knew that I didn’t have any kids, so every post would have been titled “I’ll have kids when I’m ready! GOD! I’m a womyn! I am more than a uterus! I DON’T EVEN WANT TO HAVE KIDS! I can be anything I want! Like an surgeon, if I weren’t so afraid of blood. Or an artist, if I had any talent.”

5. I was a vegetarian because Meat = Murder (-hot dogs because hot dogs = delicious).

4. I had a job as a paralegal. Which means that I considered suicide daily. Except…

3. I had a super cute boyfriend. One day Mama mentioned to me that if he really loved me, he’d make me tea, so I woke him up in the middle of the night to ask him for a cup. It did not enhance our relationship.

2. Oh yeah, we were living together. In sin.  There would have been many posts about admonitions from Mama and Papa that included words like “why” and “buy” and “cow” and “if” and “can” and “get” and “milk” and “for free”

1. I met Husbandrinka-to-be! And after our first date, he “went on a business trip” and stayed gone on the “business trip” for “four weeks”! DOES HE LIKE ME OR IS THIS WHOLE BUSINESS TRIP STUFF A HUGE LIE TO GET RID OF ME. WOE IS ME!

So yes, thank your lucky stars that I didn’t have a blog when I was a single womyn in my XXs. And then check out these fabulous writers to see why you should be glad that they didn’t either.

The Mama Bird Diaries
Baby on Bored
Peace, Love & Guacamole
Wait in the Van
Tales of (Married) Mikkimoto
Ann’s Rants
Wendi Aarons
Midlife Mixtape
The Flying Chalupa
I’m Gonna Kill Him
Smacksy
Earth Mother just means I’m dusty

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{ 2 trackbacks }

10 Reasons You Should Be Glad I Didn’t Blog In My 20′s | theflyingchalupa.com
January 31, 2013 at 3:14 am
I’m Jumping on the Blogwagon « A Side of Rice
February 9, 2013 at 9:16 am

{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }

The mama bird diaries
Twitter:
January 31, 2013 at 7:34 am

I was an uber feminist too. I was always ranting and raving how we should be called “women!” not girls.

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dusty earth mother January 31, 2013 at 8:32 am

Ohhhhh, you are one funny womyn. Seriously, so much more than just a uterus.

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Liz @ PeaceLoveGuac
Twitter:
January 31, 2013 at 9:05 am

I’m kinda loving your emo haircut.

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tracy@sellabitmum January 31, 2013 at 9:29 am

But you had awesome hair. Off to read all of the other awesome. xo

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Mrs. Jen B January 31, 2013 at 10:09 am

Maybe you were sad because all of that picture taking was getting in the way of eating the bag of popcorn behind you? I mean, that would have been my motivation.

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Ann
Twitter:
January 31, 2013 at 10:18 am

Marinka’s 20s: Ennui with snacks!

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Karen January 31, 2013 at 10:18 am

I just bought that shirt but don’t have the attitude to go with it!
I didn’t eat anything with a face. Except for shrimp, I didn’t know shrimp had faces until the early 90′s.

Rock On

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dar January 31, 2013 at 10:28 am

hahaha that picture is priceless..but then again so are you!

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Mexmom January 31, 2013 at 11:22 am

Maybe you were sad in th epicture because either you didn’t like the available snacks

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Lisa Rae @ smacksy January 31, 2013 at 11:52 am

We were intense. Everyone else just needs to deal with it.

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Wendi January 31, 2013 at 11:57 am

Please get that haircut again. And wear the French sailor shirt. Please.

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Nancy Davis Kho
Twitter:
January 31, 2013 at 12:02 pm

But lose the mopey face. You’re not fooling anyone, what with the Rolex and the easy access to snacks.

As for your feminist streak here’s my new phrase (taken from some graffiti near my house): Uteruses Before Duderuses.

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Jon January 31, 2013 at 12:01 pm

You really went out of your way to be uber feminist – only buying Herr’s snacks! Love the picture.

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Suzy
Twitter:
January 31, 2013 at 12:04 pm

Because I was so bad at Algebra 2 and Geometry, I knew roman numerals because I thought that would make up for it. I was wrong.

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anna see January 31, 2013 at 12:10 pm

This was awesome!!! Can’t wait to check out the others. Oh, and I think I was the one sitting next to you in Womyn’s Lit.

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Becky (Princess Mikkimoto)
Twitter:
January 31, 2013 at 12:17 pm

that angst picture is too much. great list!

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Deb Rox
Twitter:
January 31, 2013 at 12:20 pm

I would have read you the comments your own blog posts were getting (you couldn’t bear to look/couldn’t stand not knowing) while you snacked on that HerrCorn. Clove cigarettes might have also been involved. Those would have been the days.

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Anna Lefler
Twitter:
January 31, 2013 at 12:21 pm

I don’t think I strayed more than 18 inches away from a bag of popcorn during my entire college career.

I’m just sayin’.

Fabulous post.

XOXO

A.

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Roshni January 31, 2013 at 12:59 pm

You’re gonna hate me, but I wanted to say that you looked very cute!! ;)

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suburbancorrespondent
Twitter:
January 31, 2013 at 1:20 pm

I think I had that outfit, boat neck and all. And the dissatisfied pout. Loved this post!

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Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him
Twitter:
January 31, 2013 at 2:17 pm

#2 was my favorite. I can’t believe you gave the milk away for free. I did, too. But he’s paying a lot for it now.

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Olga
Twitter:
January 31, 2013 at 2:50 pm

I would have loved to read your blog XIV years ago!

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joeinvegas January 31, 2013 at 3:36 pm

I don’t know about then, but I’m sure glad you’re blogging now.

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Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes January 31, 2013 at 3:44 pm

Believe it or not but I took a course of “Gender History” in college and the professor always referred to it as “Herstory”. Because, you know, it was about the role of gender in the oppression of womyn througout history so it was Her-story. hahahahahaha, feminist professors…. and their wicked sense of humor.
I think she thought the class in English solely to be able to make that joke at the beginning of each year.

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deb January 31, 2013 at 3:45 pm

oh – you just do not know how disappointed i am that I cannot get this picture to paste into the comments because i’m just giggling and giggling:
http://tinyurl.com/bj9sssg
In light of this, I suppose reason number XI would be all the posts where you would have said “mama & papa don’t preach…i’m having my baby!”

if my link doesn’t work – i guess i’ll spoil it and tell you it’s a pic of madonna sitting on a bed with some rad blonde hair and a french sailor shirt. :)

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Laurie January 31, 2013 at 5:08 pm

Oh my God if I had blogged in my 20s I’d have to be in witness protection now. Everything would be “drama, drama, drama, stupidity, cluelessness, frightening ignorance, drama.”

What if I look back on my 40s when I’m 80 and cringe just as hard?

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Stefanie January 31, 2013 at 5:46 pm

I would have wondered if the business trip was a lie too. I’m paranoid like that. This whole post made me Laugh to the Out Loud.

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The Flying Chalupa
Twitter:
January 31, 2013 at 6:09 pm

That photo is AWESOME. And #8 made me laugh so hard. Really, the whole list is hil-are. Well done.

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christy February 1, 2013 at 1:24 pm

So damn funny! The picture is the best part though – that look. Those chips. Hehehe!

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Marta
Twitter:
February 1, 2013 at 7:49 pm

My husband makes me tea every morning and night, I guess that means he does love me!

Since I AM a blogger in my XXs that’s really all I have to contribute other than I have always loved meat and have never been a real feminist. (Side note: my iPhone tried to autocorrect feminist to “demon is”)

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anymommy February 2, 2013 at 12:11 am

“(-hot dogs because hot dogs = delicious)” This is so funny. It all was funny, but the hot dog thing killed me.

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Neil
Twitter:
February 3, 2013 at 10:40 am

I would have dated you. I liked solemn looking pretentious girls in college. But I have this feeling you would have hated me.

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jetts31
Twitter:
February 6, 2013 at 1:04 am

Two things. 1. I lived next to a Herr’s distribution warehouse growing up. It was like Lindsay Lohan living next to a distillery and 2. I almost got caught on campus one night during a feminist rally. If I remember the details correctly, they had a huge straw statue like in the Wicker Man and were looking for a “willing” candidate to ride in it…I ran.

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