Yogi Bear: The Review

by Marinka on December 20, 2010

This weekend I took Young Ladrinka and a friend of his to see Yogi Bear in five million D.

I’m not sure exactly how it happened, because right before Thanksgiving my son saw the posters for it and said “that looks really stupid!” and I said, “why, yes, my young lad, indeed it does,” but then, just as I felt Yogi Bear-safe and let down my guard he went all “I WANT TO SEE THIS MOVIE” on me, and there I was, buying a huge tub of popcorn.

The movie, in a word, sucked. The absolutely best thing about it was the Roadrunner cartoon they showed in 3D in the beginning.

The premise is that Yogi and Boo are in Jellystone National Park, walking around and talking. Yogi is wearing a tie and a hat but no pants, in a blatant fashion rip-off of Winnie the Pooh. I can’t wait to see those two featured on the Who Didn’t Wear It Best pages of US! Also, Yogi seems unnaturally obsessed with food and stealing the picnic baskets of picnickers.

And I don’t know who Boo is and why he’s so short. Is he a child? A dwarf? A child-dwarf? And why is no one else wondering this?

So, Yogi and Boo are walking and talking and then there’s a corrupt politician who wants to get rid of Jellystone Park and chop down all the trees and if that’s not enough, there’s also a Park Ranger who’s smitten with a blonde who makes documentaries about gorillas.

I’m sorry to leave you in this state of suspense about whether or not Jellystone Park will be saved, but sweet Jesus, if getting rid of Jellystone means that there’s no sequel to this nightmare, I’ll torch the place myself.

There is a good news about this movie. If you recently had a lobotomy, for example, and are not sure how to spend the afternoon, get yourself a Yogi Bear ticket!

Also, did you know that there was a website that tells you when is the best part of the movie to go pee? I mean, personally, I know when to go pee because of the pressure that I feel on my bladder, but apparently today’s movie goers need some extra hints from a website. (Oh, calm down. I know that they’re talking about peeing during the boring parts. As protest.) Well, the good news is that you can go to the bathroom before Yogi Bear starts, self-administer an enema, and spend the next 83 minutes in the bathroom, without really missing anything. You’re welcome!

My son and his friend, on the other hand, really liked it.

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{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }

kiki
Twitter:
December 20, 2010 at 11:12 am

my son saw it on saturday with his grandparents and he loved it. my in-laws liked it. my mil said it was funny in parts but enjoyed the roadrunner cartoon best. i’m just sorry to see the guy from “Ed” as the park ranger. i guess since TNT cancelled his show about two guys in advertising, parts have been scarce.

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annie December 20, 2010 at 11:27 am

Um, not to be picky but isn’t his name Booboo not Boo? It was in the original cartoons anyway. Or were we walking around as kids saying “hey booboo!” for nothing? Was I a dork or what? Oh, wait. I think I still am.

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Miss Britt
Twitter:
December 20, 2010 at 11:58 am

I refuse to see it because I don’t want my fantasies of Justin Timberlake tarnished by memories of him doing the voice of Booboo.

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deborah l quinn
Twitter:
December 20, 2010 at 12:25 pm

Justin Timberlake had been inching his way up in my estimation (not that he cares)–the whole SNL I-have-a-sense-of-humor thing–but after this? Sorry, JT, you’re going to have to really work to bring sexy back after this puppy. It’s as if Hollywood is teaching our kids how to be brainless so as to build an audience for R-rated carchase idiocy in a few years, and then a few years after that to be ready for any movie with Katherine Heigl in it.

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Tracie
Twitter:
December 20, 2010 at 12:42 pm

Clearly your review of this movie is much better than the actual movie.

….of course, I’m not sure I will be able to get the though of that self-administered enema out of my mind, but it does sound better than having to sit through that crap of a movie.

Now. Will you please convince my seven year old daughter that she doesn’t want to see it? Thanks.

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Scary Mommy
Twitter:
December 20, 2010 at 7:55 pm

I was going to say the same thing. I would love to read your review of The Chipmunks.

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Alexandria
Twitter:
December 20, 2010 at 1:15 pm

that movie looks so stupid. thank god my son is only 2 and won’t remember that he actually wants to see it! LOL.

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Issa
Twitter:
December 20, 2010 at 1:28 pm

I can’t do the 3-D movies. Thank freaking god. I will have to let my ex take the kids to see this horror. Ha.

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elizabeth-flourish in progress
Twitter:
December 20, 2010 at 2:10 pm

oh no you didn’t. I was saving this special movie to watch on Xmas with the fam. I was sure it was going to be the best movie of the year and you ruined it for me! Bah Humbug.

I think kid’s movies are so awesome. They usually have amazing plots and deep character development.

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hokgardner
Twitter:
December 20, 2010 at 2:47 pm

I think you ought to win an award for performing the public service for parents everywhere.

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Kimberly December 20, 2010 at 4:20 pm

You’re kindof mean.

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Marinka December 20, 2010 at 4:51 pm

I’m not mean, I just hate crappy movies.

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Kimberly December 21, 2010 at 11:12 am

LOL :)

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Phoenix Rising
Twitter:
December 20, 2010 at 4:56 pm

Shit. I already committed to the Yogi Bear movie. In a weak moment I was all “let’s start a new family tradition for the holidays and go see a movie on Christmas Eve!” and everyone was all “yeah! you’re the best mother in the whole world!” and I was all “I know, I know…. how about that cute little Yogi Bear movie in 3D?” and they all jumped and gave me hugs. Now, how am I going to explain why Mommy had to get drunk before the show?

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Marinka December 20, 2010 at 5:02 pm

That’s how they trap you! With the whole feel-good-family-togetherness-nonsense.

good luck to you!

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GrandeMocha
Twitter:
December 20, 2010 at 8:44 pm

Thanks for saving me $50.

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Neil
Twitter:
December 20, 2010 at 9:03 pm

I KNEW it was going to have an environmental twist, and sap all of the fun out of the premise.

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Neil
Twitter:
December 20, 2010 at 9:09 pm

And it is Boo Boo, not Boo.

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Mama Kat December 20, 2010 at 9:09 pm

YER REALLY MEAN ABOUT THIS MOVIE!

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Mama Kat December 20, 2010 at 9:10 pm

Oh damn.

That last comment was supposed to be “Anonymous”…I hate it when I do that!

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Ann's Rants
Twitter:
December 20, 2010 at 9:23 pm

OMG I can’t wait to get the soundtrack!

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the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
December 20, 2010 at 10:10 pm

So I’m guessing this is not a sponsored post.

In other news, I’ve always wanted to give myself an enema.

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tracy
Twitter:
December 20, 2010 at 10:17 pm

I really need an ex-husband to take my kids to movies like this.

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Peajaye
Twitter:
December 21, 2010 at 12:43 am

Did you see Jay Leno on Friday night? He showed a clip of Sarah Palin shooting Yogi Bear. It was amusing.

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Jill
Twitter:
December 21, 2010 at 1:01 am

Sh*t. I really need to make a point of turning on my computer in the morning and checking my Google Reader BEFORE I head off to the movies.

Where yes, I took my girls to see the Yogi Bear movie today. For my daughter’s 6th birthday.

Yup. Rather Stupid.

Sh*t, I just said another “S” word.

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alexandra
Twitter:
December 21, 2010 at 1:33 am

I wish I would’ve spend the 83 minutes in the bathroom. The movie was ridiculous. But, my 8 yr old and his friend from school adored it and laughed out loud. So, somehow, somebody knew it would work with 8 yr old boys.

But, man, it was awful. A.W.F.U.L.

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Kathie December 21, 2010 at 2:31 am

Crap, now I may have to take the kids. My husband still wears the Mantle of Horrific Kid’s Movies from the time he took them to see Shark Boy and Lava Girl, and he’s just waiting for the right moment to pass the torch back.

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Nicole
Twitter:
December 22, 2010 at 4:13 pm

One of my kids favorite, Shark Boy and Lava Girl…that movie totally grows on you, though :)

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Vicki
Twitter:
December 21, 2010 at 8:35 am

I’m disappointed that Awesome Dude did not accompany and provide his own review. Something having to do with, “This is what happens when the state is allowed to own property such as national parks.”

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Fran December 21, 2010 at 9:34 am

There’s no chance I’m going to see this movie anytime soon, but I was intrigued by the runpee aspect of it. I checked out their website, using Black Swan as a test balloon. It’s hysterical!!! Half of the runpee flags are for Yogi Bear. I’m assuming, anyway. The first opportunity during Black Swan is at 37 minutes into the film, just after the fireworks display at Jellystone Lake.

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Glamamom
Twitter:
December 21, 2010 at 11:46 am

Sitting in a dark place with popcorn, no running, no climbing, no screaming sounds FABULOUS. Call Auntie Jill next time and I’ll accompany him.

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hoodyhoo December 22, 2010 at 8:04 am

Great, now I have this picture of a caption in my head: “Yogi hangs out in the woods with no pants on — JUST LIKE US!” Thanks for making me giggle inappropriately at the checkout line!

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Nicole
Twitter:
December 22, 2010 at 4:15 pm

On a funny podcast (Doug Loves Movies :) Doug was interviewing one of the guys in the movie…he sent a request that if we want to see Tron, we buy a ticket to Yogi Bear so it can do better in the theatre :)

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