You Think You Know Someone, Part Whatever

by Marinka on September 24, 2008

Recently Kirsten, who goes by the deceptively endearing moniker Mama Ginger Tree recently commented on this blog that she is starting to feel sorry for Husbandrinka. Fortunately, I believe in the freedom of speech and am accepting of comments that suggest that my Husband is unfortunate to be married to me, imply that I tricked him into said marriage and simultaneously placed a gun to his head and that perhaps I should be murdered in my sleep or maybe forced to watch The View on an endless loop. Does my open-mindedness have no end? Only the autopsy will tell us for sure, of course, but for now Kirsten is DeadToMe. As a matter of fact, I may start calling her Kristen. Or Jennifer.

If there are other readers who feel that Husbandrinka is unduly burdened by our matrimony, or that I am, oh, what’s the word? A neurotic blogger, please speak up now.

What? No one else? The rest of us are on my side? Great. Because Husbandrinka and I had a conversation on Monday morning, after I read the news about Goldman Sachs and JP Morgan becoming bank holding companies that was mildly disturbing. Sure, some people may think that the recent economic news is disturbing enough, but please understand that a national crisis is no time to let our guard down against personal miscommunication. And sure, some blog reading traitors might think that I was unfair in leading him on, but those of you who are my very favorites understand the truth. I’m not sure what the truth is, but because my favorite readers and I understand it so well, it’s not necessary to insult anyone’s intelligence and spell it out. And by the way, your hair looks great today. You should totally let Kristie know where you had it done.

Anyway, this is us, discussing the Financial News.

Me: So, what’s this latest financial crisis?

H: Well, blah blah blah, after the Depression, blah, regulation, blah blah, but now, bank, blah, Doom & Gloom.

M: I don’t know. I’m going to wait to hear what Sarah Palin has to say before I decide what to think.

H: You kidding? She knows nothing about bank regulation.

M: I’m so tired of your sexism. As fellow mothers, she and I totally relate to each other, and I look to her to guide me in this matter.

H: It’s not sexism-

M: Sexism, misogyny, I can’t get into your elitist distinctions. All I know is that she is someone that I want to have a beer with. Maybe a six pack.

H: …

M: And stop implying that because she has an unwed teenage daughter while preaching family values that she is a hypocrite. She will lead us out of this financial crisis, like Moses led the Jews out of Egypt.

H: …

M: So what if she doesn’t have foreign experience? As a mother, she has experience that has been devalued by the patriarchy and John McCain and I are fully committed to eradicating it. After we reinterpret the Constitution, of course.

H: I’m not falling for this, you know.

M: Speaking of the fall from grace, I think it’s about time that we addressed America’s Garden of Eden problem.

H: I’m not listening.

M: And neither did Adam and Eve. How can Paradise ever be ours if our leaders don’t reclaim it?

H: You know you’re Jewish, right?

M: Does that mean that I can’t wear lipstick?

H: …

M: I rest my case. By the way, do you think that many people will dress up as Sarah Palin on Halloween?

H: Probably.

M: Do you want to dress up as Sarah Palin?

H: No.

M: Do you think that I should?

H: No.

M: Misogyny again?

H: Yes.

M: Should I blog about this?

H: I don’t care.

M: Everyone is on my side, you know.

H: I don’t care.

M: On my side and on Sarah Palin’s.

H: We’re not talking about this.

M: Censorship, eh? Sarah Palin and I do not believe in censorship. I mean, sometimes we’re curious about what would happen if we tried to censor someone, or burn a few books, but generally- hey! Why are you pressing the “mute” button on the remote? The TV’s not on. Stop pointing that thing at my mouth-

One year ago ...

0saves
If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the RSS feed.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

Mama Ginger Tree September 24, 2008 at 11:08 pm

Please give my e-mail address to Husbandrinka. I know a fabulous divorce attorney.

Reply

Vodka Mom September 25, 2008 at 3:54 am

I NEVER feel sorry for husbands, no matter who they are. ( enjoyed you post…)

Reply

Kylie w Warszawie September 25, 2008 at 4:27 am

Ha! My husband was all “You’re so funny!” Until I started lambasting HIM on my blog. Then he was all, “I HATE you. And now I’m starting my own blog. And you have to create it for me!”

Yeah, never feel sorry for husbands.

Reply

Kate Coveny Hood September 25, 2008 at 5:36 am

I’m with Vodka Mom. I never feel sorry for husbands. They know what they’re getting themselves into… Women want to talk about everything when a relationship is new – there are no surprises for men in marriage. We’re the ones who end up waking up one morning and saying, oh my god – I married my Dad! Or is that just me…

P.S. I didn’t actually marry my Dad – my husband is just a lot like him. (just in case that wasn’t clear)

Reply

Me September 25, 2008 at 7:48 am

Wow, what a total jackass. I think your blog is funny, and just that – a blog. I thought blogging was supposed to be about twisting things to make them appear funny and suit a particular sense of humor?

I don’t know why some people think it is ok to make pot shots at people on their own personal blog.

Keep your funny stories coming and don’t let the assholes get you down. Please!

Reply

Insta-mom September 25, 2008 at 8:03 am

How can anyone say she doesn’t know the financial industry? I learned everything I need to know by being CFO of my family. Oh, but I bet they’d just call that paying the bills. Sexist bastards.

Reply

ms. changes pants while driving September 25, 2008 at 9:51 am

you so funny.

my boyfriend doesn’t read my blog unless i ask him to or tell him there’s a post about him up. and even then… he won’t read the comments. i told him the comments were the best part, but he feels it’s like invading my privacy or something.

PRIVACY!!

i love your layout. tres je ne sais pas.

Reply

anymommy September 25, 2008 at 10:06 am

I’m so on your side. Husbandrinka is Deadtome. And, I’m on MGT’s side, because she’s awesome. Wait, are those different sides, I’m confused, it’s like the banking crisis. My little feminine brain can’t handle it. I’m going to lie down.

Reply

Anonymous September 25, 2008 at 10:22 am

Ha, I’ve been reading your blog for a little while now but have rather reluctant to leave a comment. That dubious feeling, and unnerving feeling that it induces… Well, let’s just say it’s laziness. (I just like the fancy terms, that provide a guilt-free excuse) I just want to say that your blog is thoroughly entertaining, and though I can’t relate to the motherhood aspect, I still very much look forward to reading what you have to say. The regular posting is definitely an incentive that simply can not be overlooked. Oh, and by the way, Sarah Palin would exude compassion through the intention of benevolent acts. Seems ideal, no? Ah, it seems to be time to catch up with Canadian politics. The Obama-McCain is certainly taking its toll. Perhaps, at a later date, I shall be so inclined as to ramble in the most appropriate place, your comments section. Continue writing. Marinka points shall be granted accordingly. 🙂

Reply

Maura September 25, 2008 at 10:31 am

Oh, please, he totally had that coming. (Can I be your favorite now? Can I?)

I am confused by one thing, however. You said that you’re waiting to hear what Sarah Palin has to say before deciding what to think on this crisis. But on that really in-depth and insightful interview she did with the hard-hitting Katie Couric yesterday, Sarah said that the American People (like, all of us) are waiting to hear what John McCain has to say about it.

So, like, is she the Jesus to his God? And do we have to wait ’til it comes down from God John to Jesus Sarah before we know what to think? Or are you their John the Baptist and we should wait for God John to tell Jesus Sarah and for Jesus Sarah to tell Marinka the Baptist who can tell us?

‘Cause I’m fine with that, I totally need someone to tell me what to think about national and world affairs, I just want to make sure I get the line of communication right. Thanks!

P.S. Did I mention your hair looks fabulous today, too?

Reply

Kristine September 25, 2008 at 10:31 am

Husbandrinka knew what he was getting into. I’m sure of it. And I picture him not so much annoyed by these conversations as laughing about them.

Reply

Heinous September 25, 2008 at 11:44 am

I think he might subconsciously bait you into these conversations. You should set your alarm and check for a tape recorder playing over and over again, “Please talk about the economy tomorrow.”

Reply

zarafa September 27, 2008 at 4:35 am

i thought of this post yesterday at work when a colleague was talking about how sad it is when you see an obviously married couple out at a restaurant and they don’t say a word to each other the entire time.

and i thought, well at least husbandrinka will never have that problem. does he know how lucky he is??

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: