From the monthly archives:

July 2010


by Marinka on July 30, 2010

I’ve had a a  busy week.  Sadly, the details aren’t interesting, except for the tragic part yesterday when I forgot to watch the premiere of Project Runway.

And when I was invited to my local Gap store to be styled for BlogHer.  I can only assume that the good people at Gap did this because the people in charge of BlogHer called them and complained about my outfits from last year.  So it was sort of a rescue mission, if you will.  A humanitarian effort, like Doctors Without Borders, except with clothes.

I know that I’m a girl and everything, but I really hate shopping. I hate shopping so much that I’ve been known to walk into a store, grab clothes and leave.  After I paid for them, of course.  But I can’t bear to try them on,  so I convince myself so they will fit and that if they don’t, I’ll just return them.  Because that’s obviously easier and faster than going into the fitting room.

But I very much did not hate this.  Because the stylist, Devinne, was amazing.  She asked me a few questions about what I liked and didn’t like and then pulled together outfits that I would have never picked out on my own, but absolutely loved.  I even fell in love and had to have a shirt that looks like a vagina, but in a flowery way, not side-view poster at the gynecologist’s office way.

Devinne and I did  have a small, shall we say, creative difference, when she brought me a pair of skinny jeans to try on.  I have a sneaking suspicion that she just did that for her own amusement, which is something I hope that Doctors Without Borders would never do.  It was certainly an educational experience for me.  Like, I had no idea that thighs were sort of like lungs, and that if they were constricted by thigh-binding matter, they’d stop breathing.

After the medical professionals were done extricating me from the jeans, we resumed regularly scheduled styling.

I love every outfit and accessory.  (I couldn’t get shoes because Gap caters to the human foot, up to size 10.  And I’m size 11, like a supermodel. Or Fred Flinstone.)

And I need to share this with you.  When I first saw it, it made me laugh out loud, which is different from LOL.  I hope that you love it as much as I do.

And if you see me at  BlogHer, please reassure me that my shirt doesn’t look like a vagina.  It’s a real ice breaker.

Like an O'Keeffe painting. With a hint of Botticelli.

Disclosure:  Gap gave me a ton of new clothes, free of charge.  And also two bags.  They are awesome.  Thank you, Gap and Brand About Town!


How Sharper Than a Serpent’s Tooth

by Marinka on July 29, 2010

Recently our home underwent an episode of Emailus Interceptus to the 12 year old daughter degree.

Normally I totally believe that everyone is entitled to privacy, but I was curious.

Fortunately I didn’t find anything too damning (unless everything was in code! Why did I just now think of that?), but I did find this chain letter, preceded with enough LOLs to plug up the oil leak.

Take a look!


1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished

2. My mother taught me RELIGION
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

3. My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of
next week!”

4. My mother taught me LOGIC
” Because I said so, that’s why.”

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to
the store with me.”

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident .”

7. My mother taught me IRONY
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

9. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

11. My mother taught me WEATHER
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

12. My mother taught me HYPOCRISY
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”

13. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
“Stop acting like your father!”

15. My mother taught me: ENVY
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION
“Just wait until we get home.”

17. My mother taught me: RECEIVING
“You are going to get it when you get home!”

18. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that

19. My mother taught me: ESP
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”

20. My mother taught me: HUMOR
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

21. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

22.My Mother taught me: Genetics
“I swear you’re just like your father.”

23. My Mother taught me about my Roots
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”

24. My Mother taught me Wisdom
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”

25. My mother taught me about Justice
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you”

So while you vomit your pregnancy away, get stretch marks that defy principles of elasticity, have enough sleepless colicky nights to qualify as torture under the Geneva Convention and generally devote your life to your child’s happiness and well-being, rest assured that your child will appreciate every single thing and reward you through the beauty of a mocking chain letter.


Beware the Ides of March! And Cutlets

July 28, 2010

Young Ladrinka was explaining to me that anything can be dangerous. “Really, mom.  Danger is everywhere, so you shouldn’t worry.  Like you think guns are dangerous, but a bullet can actually miss you because you can jump out of the way.  But  other things are dangerous.  For example, cutlets.  You see a cutlet, and you’re […]

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Things I Learned in Boot Camp

July 27, 2010

1.  If at all possible, don’t choose a facility that spells “camp” with a K.  Or two. 2. When you tell your friends that you’re going to boot camp at 5:3o am, and they ask if you’re insane, don’t assume that it’s a rhetorical question.  Seek a professional opinion, instead. 3.  When the check in […]

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A Perfect Storm

July 26, 2010

I’m in a middle of something that I’d like to call A Perfect Storm, except I could only read three pages of that book before I lapsed into a coma, with a touch of seasickness, so I’m not really sure if the expression applies.  But since I’m feeling pre-comatose right now, I’m going to risk […]

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Gentle Reminder From Young Ladrinka

July 25, 2010

Coming Soon!  Get birthday countdown email updates straight to your mailbox!

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July 24, 2010

I’m not sure exactly how it happened, but last year I was selected to be the emergency coordinator for my floor at work.  I assume it’s because everyone knew that I’d be sure to grab the snacks on my way while evacuating, so at the very least we wouldn’t starve to death. I had to […]

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Fight! Fight!

July 22, 2010

Young Ladrinka and I just had a fight.  I think it’s still in progress. Because he had to practice his piano and he didn’t want to do it and I told him he HAD TO and then I turned away for a nanosecond and then I thought that the music sounded a little off and […]

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