From the monthly archives:

June 2011


by Marinka on June 30, 2011

Later this afternoon Papa is taking Young Ladrinka to Tiffany’s. No, not for breakfast, it’s so that my 10 year old son can help Papa choose an anniversary gift for Mama. What could possibly go wrong?

I’m picturing Mama wearing an anniversary tiara with a Mets logo on it, but other than that, I can’t wait to see what they pick out!

While I’m waiting for that post to write itself, I have a guest post over at my friend Wendi‘s. It’s about my problems with the English language and the changes that I’d like you all to make to it. Please read it and do what it says.



Celebrity Photographer

by Marinka on June 29, 2011

I’m turning into some kind of a paparazzi (paparazzo? pepperoni?). First, last week I ran into Picasso on the subway, and then today I saw Jenna Bush at Starbucks. The way things are going, I’ll be coming to fisticuffs with Sean Penn by the weekend.

But back to today.

So, I’m at Starbucks at Rockefeller Center, waiting for my beverage of champions and then I notice that Jenna Bush is standing next to me, waiting too.

The way this Starbucks works is that when you get into the line to pay, the Starbucks assistant takes your order and your name, and when you get to the front of the line, you pay and then you wait in the reception-like area for your name to be announced. So there is a lot of waiting and also a lot of opportunity for deception. Like, you could ask the Starbucks assistant that you want a triple Venti no foam latte with 24-k gold shavings and then when you go to pay, say “oh, just a tall decaf” and get away with murder, but I’m too scrupulous to risk it. Also, I just this minute thought of it, so who knows what tomorrow will bring.

So both Jenna and I were standing there, waiting for our drinks and I kept thinking “I know it’s her, she works for NBC now” and then trying to figure out if I could casually snap her picture with my BlackBerry. But unlike with Picasso, I couldn’t pull it off. Because she was standing right in front of me.

Then her drink came first and they announced “Jenna!” I was surprised that she didn’t use a pseudonym. Like Barbara. Then they announced my drink “Marinka!” and I took it as a sign that I should approach her and ask her if I could take a picture.

So I did.

Because I’m always thinking of how to make the people who read my blog happy.

And she said “sure, would you like to get into the picture with me?” Which is totally one of those gotcha! questions that Sister Sarah Palin is warning us about. And I said “oh, no!” and then I tried to find the camera feature on my BlackBerry.

And then I got really worried that she’d think that I didn’t want to be photographed with her because I think that her father should be indicted for Crimes Against Intelligence, so I decided to add, “I’m just not photogenic” and then I got nervous that she’d think that I was the type of person who walks up to the famous and fishes for compliments, so I added “I’m not photogenic compared to you! You are really photogenic.”

Finally a miracle happened and I was able to locate the camera feature on my phone, she smiled and I snapped. I mean the I snapped the picture, not that I snapped. Although it’s early in the day, so stay tuned for further updates on that.

I thanked her and she was very gracious and said that it was nice to meet me. I wanted to explain that that wasn’t the real me, that I am much more gracious and charming and, oh, maybe I’ll just write her a letter instead. I have the newspaper and scissors right here.

I’ll just have to get some glue.


I’m Right, You’re Wrong: The Better Subway Ride

June 27, 2011

It finally happened. After nearly fourteen years of marital bliss, Husbandrinka and I ran out of things to fight about. I realized this last week when he and I scraped the bottom of the fighting barrel and argued over who had the more exciting day in terms of the subway ride. So I’m going to […]

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A Very Special Edition of We Weekly Chat!

June 24, 2011

So here’s my dilemma. On the one hand, I’m really, really sick of these We Weekly recaps and every week they hang like the Sword of Damocles over my heard. On the other hand, I invested in this here fancy We Weekly button, and gosh darnit, I’m going to get my money’s worth. Ooh! Nice […]

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You Better Sit Down

June 23, 2011

Mama: We’re going to jail on Wednesday, so I need to confirm details with your daughter. Me: What? Mama: Or maybe Tuesday. But before I leave, I want to know that everything’s in place. Me: What are you talking about? Mama: Have you spoken to your daughter? Me: Not about jail. Mama: Just ask her […]

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June 22, 2011

I should not be permitted to title posts. If you follow me on Twitter, you know that I’m a reality TV junkie. Sunday is Mob Wives and Real Housewives of New Jersey (yes, they’re two different shows), Monday is The Bachelorette, Tuesday night I detox, Wednesday is Toddlers & Tiaras and Thursday is Real Housewives […]

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Young Ladrinka is Ten

June 21, 2011

Today is Young Ladrinka’s birthday. He is ten years old. I know I’m supposed to say things like “where did the time go?” but I know exactly where it went. You know, because I have a calendar. So he’s 10, and since my daughter got a cell phone when she turned 10, by god, he […]

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Everyone Hates You

June 20, 2011

I don’t know what’s going on with Husbandrinka. I merely mentioned that everyone who reads my blog hates him and is on my side on the whole “sorry I can’t make Young Ladrinka’s birthday party with eleven of his closest friends” and he gets really defensive. I don’t like people who can’t face reality. It’s […]

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