At Least I’m Not Paying For It

by Marinka on October 29, 2009

So the other day, I’m hanging out in front of St. Patrick’s, and not just because H&M is across the street and I see this:

These are NYPD.  New York's finest.  On horseback. Just so you know.

These are NYPD. New York's finest. On horseback. Just so you know.

And first I think, aww! blondes have the same amount of fun as brunettes! And then I look closer and I’m all like, “who does that bitch’s color because I can tell you this much, she ain’t no Bergdorf Blonde.”  Because that’s how I talk to myself when standing in front of St. Patrick’s. And contemplating a ho-over shopping spree at H&M.  And then, because it always takes two sentences max for me to refocus on myself, I get depressed about my hair.  Because my dye jobs haven’t been fantastic lately. And if you pay fantastic, you want fantastic.    So I have to break up with my gay.  Which is hard, because, no  joke, I’ve known him longer than I’ve known Husbandrinka.  Unless I’ve known Husbandrinka longer. But I don’t want to look like that horse on the right. (Although to be fair, I also don’t want to look like the horse on the left, who seems to have some sort of running injury).

So this is what I’m doing. I signed up to be a hair model for a super-prominent salon.  You sign up on line, give them all your information, upload a photo, and viola! They call you with an appointment and some students practice on you. (Unless what they do is kidnap you and sell your organs, in which case this blog may be on hiatus. And stay away from any black market livers you may find on line).   This way, even though I’m cheating on my colorist, at least I’m not paying for it.  I’ll let you know how it turns out.  Prepare yourselves for a cautionary tale.  I may be on duty in front of St. Patrick’s, if I’m lucky.

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One year ago ...

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{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }

Ann's Rants October 29, 2009 at 10:51 pm

So are you going more for Laverne or Shirly’s mane?
.-= Ann’s Rants´s last blog ..Moochin’ =-.

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Ann's Rants October 29, 2009 at 10:51 pm

Shirley.

(surely)
.-= Ann’s Rants´s last blog ..Moochin’ =-.

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tracey October 29, 2009 at 10:57 pm

Holy balls, you are BRAVE. Students with Hair Color?!?

I am crossing fingers and praying to lots of different Gods for you…
.-= tracey´s last blog ..$500 BeiBambini Baby clothes Giveaway!! =-.

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Kirsten October 29, 2009 at 10:58 pm

Only you could turn a picture of a couple of horse’s asses into a discussion about your hair.
.-= Kirsten´s last blog ..Highs and Lows =-.

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the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
October 29, 2009 at 11:00 pm

Your hair is fabulous. Nothing like a horse’s ass.

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Pop and Ice
Twitter:
October 29, 2009 at 11:56 pm

Aren’t you a brave one? If you go back to your colorist after this debacle, you’re going to catch hell!
.-= Pop and Ice´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: Ah, Sunlight! =-.

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TMCPhoto October 30, 2009 at 2:16 am

I’ve done the hair model at the prominent salon thing. On the plus side there’s an instructor there to make sure there are no major mistakes. On the negative side (and this might have been just my experience) my hair was coloured a super hot red with a 4″ thick streak of white blonde bang. Fortunately, I was 18 at the time and was able to carry that look. I’m not saying this is going to happen to you, (and if you don’t like the end product they will more than likely fix it,) the important thing is that an up and coming hair artist will get some hands on experience…

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Marinka October 30, 2009 at 2:32 pm

You’re right, that’s totally the important thing here. I have no idea why everyone’s losing sight of that.

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Sophie October 30, 2009 at 5:01 am

Haven’t you heard, Marinka?
Today’s fashion of hair is “au naturale”. It goes well with au naturale legs and armpits. Ask anyone.

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Marinka October 30, 2009 at 2:33 pm

No.
Nyet.

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Jeanne October 30, 2009 at 7:12 am

So let me get this straight (as you’re apparently planning to do ) — your professional hairdresser is not doing a good enough job, so you’re going to try out some amateurs?

Please tell me your going to post pictures of the results.
.-= Jeanne´s last blog ..Fiction Friday: Results and a Prompt =-.

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Marinka October 30, 2009 at 2:33 pm

See, the way you put it makes me sound almost insane. Perhaps I need to think this through a bit more.

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Jeanne October 30, 2009 at 7:12 am

By the way — the “So-and-so’s Last Blog” gadget? Very cool!
.-= Jeanne´s last blog ..Fiction Friday: Results and a Prompt =-.

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Maureen@IslandRoar October 30, 2009 at 8:16 am

You Are Brave!
But just FYI, MY hair is kinda weird blonde streaky in the front like that big ass horse. But it’s natural. So now you’ve got me thinking everyone is looking at my hair and thinking “crappy dye job,” or that I look like a horse’s ass.
.-= Maureen@IslandRoar´s last blog ..Mischief Night =-.

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barbara sigelbaum
Twitter:
October 30, 2009 at 10:23 am

Lord have mercy, I would need a “muscle relaxer” the size of a small pizza to do that.

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peajaye
Twitter:
October 30, 2009 at 11:46 am

i think you would be better off going to mama’s eyebrow-ist than to a student colorist. my advice is to give your current colorist some hard love. yes, you know he’s distracted with halloween coming up and project runway just getting good and all, but there’s a recession out there, so get the color right, van-gogh, or you’ll be cutting off more than his ear.

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Holli October 30, 2009 at 12:09 pm

Take a ‘before’ picture (and post it) for posterity… and good luck!
.-= Holli´s last blog ..Friday Funnies from Natalie and Toothpaste =-.

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Jane October 30, 2009 at 3:42 pm

These things never turn out well…… don’t do it!!
Just go back to your gay and explain, cry, so he doesn’t get all up in your face. Make like sound like it’s all you and not that he’s not listening to you…..

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Suzy
Twitter:
October 30, 2009 at 3:47 pm

I wondered what had happened to you. I kept seeing no posts every day. I just went to your blog and was all WHOA. Your feed dropped out of my reader as do others every now and then. So I added it AGAIN. Please stop fucking with my head. I’m such a delicate flower.

p.s. did you change something because I want to blame you or Ann for this.
.-= Suzy´s last blog ..Just To Prove I Have A Big Mouth =-.

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SweetPeaSurry
Twitter:
October 30, 2009 at 8:30 pm

Oh my … I do hope that your volunteering situation works out … although I’m sure you’re hair is just fabulous and you’re probably just projecting on the horse? Okay … I don’t know what I’m talking about, I’m on salad overload.

Best of luck!!!
.-= SweetPeaSurry´s last blog ..Katee Belle and Sookie Bear =-.

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jessica October 31, 2009 at 5:42 pm

I went to see another stylist at my salon b/c mine was out of town. I felt like I was cheating on her and actually considered putting off a much much needed dye job but of course, being my first great quality is narcissism, I went to the gal anyway

Reply

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