Baby Talk

Marinka: I was thinking it might be nice to have another baby.

Husbandrinka: No.

M: Because you hate me?

H: Because I don’t want another baby.

M: Is it a hard no or a soft no?

H: No means no.

M: Your mouth is saying no, but your eyes are saying yes.

H: My eyes are closed. Because I’m trying to sleep.

M: I have x-ray vision.

H: Eyes don’t have bones.

M: Excuse me, Mr. Gray’s Anatomy.

H: …

M: The baby would be really cute.

H: I don’t care.

M: Baby hater. The pro-lifers will come after you.

H: You’re not pregnant.

M: I can fake a pregnancy.

H: You can carry your fake pregnancy to full term.

M: It’s called a hysterical pregnancy, fyi.

H: Then that’s perfect for you.

M: Can we get a puppy?

H: Yes. A fake one.

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{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }

Jana @ An Attitude Adjustment
August 18, 2010 at 12:24 pm

Remember, you always have to clean up a dog’s poop. A baby can eventually handle it herself. (The literal poop, I mean. The figurative stuff…who knows when she’ll handle that. 20? 30?)


August 18, 2010 at 12:25 pm

Is an invisible puppy the same as the invisible cat that you now have?


Miss Welcome August 18, 2010 at 12:29 pm

I am laughing! We regularly have this conversation! 🙂


Miss Welcome August 18, 2010 at 12:30 pm

Oh – just to clarify, not your husband and I – mine! hee hee


soccermom August 18, 2010 at 1:43 pm

Are you sure you really want another baby? I vote for the fake puppy. They are so much easier to take care of. LOL
Just think of how much f r e e time you will have , when your kids are away at college. and to start over now? just sayin.

* its not all about soccer.


Sophie@Fabrications August 18, 2010 at 2:11 pm

Get a fake puppy and call it Sundance. You know that’s what you REALLY want.


August 18, 2010 at 3:33 pm

It’s good to see where my marriage is heading. We have similar conversations already, and we have only been married for a year.


Miss Britt
August 18, 2010 at 4:12 pm

I cannot wait until the next time my kids ask me for a puppy.


August 18, 2010 at 4:50 pm

Oy, please feel free to take mine…kidding (sort of) how about a nice cat instead? I hear cats are very self sufficient.


A Mom on Spin August 18, 2010 at 10:55 pm

Oh, a puppy would sooooooo be better than another kid! They stay cute longer and don’t need to go to college!!!!!


August 18, 2010 at 11:02 pm

My husband and I have this conversation once a week. If you come up with an argument that makes him give in, let me know!


dusty earth mother August 19, 2010 at 12:22 am

I agree with Sophie. A fake puppy named Sundance would not only make you happy, but would make US happy, and isn’t that the most important thing, really?


anymommy August 19, 2010 at 12:31 am

A fake puppy is what you want. Trust me.


August 19, 2010 at 12:38 am

“Eyes don’t have bones”
Is Husbandrinka’s last name Google? )


August 19, 2010 at 2:04 am

Today is YOUR lucky day! How about a perfectly good house-trained 5 year old girl? Semi-blonde with adorable curls that frame her sweet and sassy mouth. I’m offering her free of charge … to a good home. Though I warn you, there’s no return policy.

Better yet, I like you, so for your own sanity, I say get the dog. You’ll thank me later.


Jane August 19, 2010 at 11:13 am

I can’t have kids so I have pets
I tried the same conversation for a goat
To be friends with the horse
The horse is lonely….
He put the pillow over his head
There was no hard NO…..I may still have a chance
Goat cheese anyone?


Loukia August 19, 2010 at 11:58 am

I love babies, however, I know I can’t have another one because I can barely handle my two! I don’t KNOW how woman with 4 kids or 3 kids do it. It is HARD! Or maybe my children are just really really impossible to deal with sometimes? I’m not kidding when I say they are VERY DEMANDING and they are my boss and they never listen to me and they are always running in opposite directions and I want to cry. Also, think about all that money you are saving on diapers! Buy shoes instead! And go hug someone else’s baby! Luckily for me my sister just had a baby girl, so for me, it’s like my third child and BONUS! I don’t have to breastfeed or stay up till 3 a.m. or change a billion more diapers, I can just love, enjoy and hand back. 🙂


tracey August 19, 2010 at 5:44 pm

Oh man. The baby dreams. Sigh… When will those stop? I don’t want another! But the damn dreams…

Poor husbandrinka. You should have just had your way with him while he was asleep. heh heh


the mama bird diaries
August 19, 2010 at 11:26 pm

You and Scary Mommy both want another baby?! Why didn’t you just ask. I’ll send one over.


phd in yogurtry August 20, 2010 at 2:18 am

At the end of your fake pregnancy, you can always get one of those baby simulators until he cries uncle.


August 20, 2010 at 7:42 am

What about getting pregnant with your gay, John? If you did it now, you could surprise Husbandrinka for Father’s Day!


Carolyn Online
August 20, 2010 at 8:30 am

Maybe you could just borrow a baby for a bit from some nice lady in the park.


Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him
August 20, 2010 at 11:45 pm

I have a friend who never wants children, much to the horror of her Italian mother. Whenever she talks about getting a dog, her mother screams, “But dogs are so much work! Just have a baby!” Parenting of the 60s, Betty Draper style.


Rachel August 22, 2010 at 11:03 pm

Hilarious. I wrote about mistaking my dog for my toddler here.


mc inToronto
August 27, 2010 at 11:45 pm

That was funny! You guys should do lying down, stand up!



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