Ban Big Love

by Marinka on February 3, 2010

I swear, I need one of those TV control things that will prevent Husbandrinka from watching Big Love ever again. Even while I watch it. For those of you whose spouses have already installed the anti-Big Love watching device on your TVs, it is a show about a huge self-righteous polygamist asshole, Bill and his three wives.

“Isn’t Bill like the hugest dick ever?” I asked Husbandrinka during seasons 1 and 2.
“I consider him a personal role model,” Husbandrinka told me.

Season 3 was no better. “Our husband decided, in his infinite wisdom,” one of the wives proclaimed, without a trace of irony. I snorted loudly, but Husbandrinka thought that I should preface more statements with that.

Now we’re in Season 4. With every episode I hate Bill more (why? Because he’s an asshole. Didn’t I already tell you? When someone’s an asshole, I don’t think it makes sense to discuss their assholery in detail.) Husbandrinka, on the other hand, keeps quoting him.
“I have received testimony,” he will tell me, “that I should go out for drinks after work.”
“That’s funny,” I mock laugh, “because I received testimony that you should come home immediately after work and that I should go to yoga.” Where yoga is code for bar where I will meet friends for cocktails. And where friends is code for bartender.
“Unfortunately,” Husbandrinka looks mock sympathetic, “you received false testimony.”
“What do you mean?”
“Our Heavenly Father speaks only through men.”

See? Bill is an asshole.

One year ago ...

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{ 43 comments… read them below or add one }

Petra aka The Wise Young Mommy February 3, 2010 at 8:13 am

Totally. My husband keeps trying to add to our “flock” since starting to watch this show. I try to explain to him that they don’t ALL have sex together, and he would just multiply the amount of wife shit he has to deal with, but he ain’t buyin’ it.

Fuckin’ Bill.

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Carrie D. February 3, 2010 at 8:14 am

i want a show where I can have three husbands and be the sole recipient of god’s word, a word that will surely tell me they have to serve my every need and then get the hell out of my way.

I can see why he likes it. men don’t know sometimes how good they have it.

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Noelle February 4, 2010 at 3:58 am

I only want three husbands if I don’t have to have sex with them. And they do laundry.

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Vicki
Twitter:
February 3, 2010 at 8:15 am

Thank you for writing about this disturbing trend. I also love this show and see Bill as becoming more and more of an asshole with each passing episode (it’s interesting to see how he so conveniently receives testimony for running for state Senate. But I totally see him running for prophet. That is gonna suck.) However, our household doesn’t have any problem with this because Mr. B will watch Nicki, Barb, and Margine go at it for about 15 minutes about bill paying or some such, look me square in the eyes and say, “If there were a second one of you, I’d have to kill one so that I would be back down to just one.” Now that’s monogamous love.

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Marinka February 3, 2010 at 9:56 pm

That is so romantical! And yes, he’s totally going to run for prophet. Even Husbandrinka sees that.
(And by “he”, I mean Bill, not Mr. B.) Although Mr. B would make a fine prophet, too.

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kiki
Twitter:
February 3, 2010 at 8:16 am

great show. has husbandrinka mentioned sister wives to you? just wish i had HBO so i could watch the show. i try to see it whenever i visit wealthy family members who can afford premium channels. i am not a bill paxton fan, but i adore jeanne, chloe, and jennifer. i hope you went out to the bar and flirted with the bartender anyways. take care.

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Bejewell February 3, 2010 at 8:53 am

I cancelled HBO for this very reason. After I told the husband to go flock himself.

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Sophie February 3, 2010 at 8:59 am

Oh wow! I used to think that the idea of “everything in America is better than in Israel” was so 1980’s, but hey! American assholes are assholier than Israeli ones. At least when it comes to television assholes. I bow by blue and white head to you.

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Marinka February 3, 2010 at 9:57 pm

Thank you! It’s a matter of national pride.

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Sophie February 4, 2010 at 3:33 pm
Elise February 3, 2010 at 9:51 am

It’s time for a Jihad.

You can dress in drag and pretend that you are 16 year old Muslim boy. I have faith in you.

I realize there is one small matter to overcome, chiefly your Jewish upbringing, but we are talking Holy War here. The kind between Men and Women.

You must not let your sister (wives) down.

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Heather (qtberryhead) February 3, 2010 at 9:54 am

OMG. I blogged about this show a couple weeks ago. BUT, I live in Utah, so my take on the matter was how the show is so impossibly NOT Utah.
However, many (not all) LDS men do have the same attitude as Bill. Which is why I am not LDS.
For what it’s worth, there is no way in hell a polygamist would make it into the Utah senate. And were I married to Bill I would have slapped the shit out of him by now…and Nikki, she bugs the shit out of me.
http://qtberryhead.blogspot.com/2010/01/big-love-was-not-filmed-on-location-in.html#comments

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Heather, Queen of Shake Shake February 3, 2010 at 9:55 am

This is interesting and you have given me much to think about. Such as how having a husband who makes all the decisions would really negate my responsibility in life, leaving me more time to be mentally lazy. And with two sister wives, I could be more physically lazy also. Especially if I were top wife, which I would be.

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Suzy Voices February 3, 2010 at 10:04 am

Holy shit, Heather is RIGHT! Sooo many ways I could use this to my advantage.

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kristi February 3, 2010 at 10:06 am

Oh yeah! I like this show but I want to punch Bill in his face.

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I'm Nate's Mom February 3, 2010 at 10:06 am

I, too, hate Bill – but I love the idea of having a sister-wife (or three). Someone to share the laundry, meals, child care, shopping and other wifely duties? Hello? Genius. Plus, sometimes a husband ends up in the deep freeze, and no one quite knows how it happens. Talk about happily ever after . . .

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Keyona
Twitter:
February 3, 2010 at 10:24 am

You guys are so smart! LOL!

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anna see February 3, 2010 at 11:32 am

Bejewell- go flock himself! Love it!

Never seen the show, but I’m firmly on your side on this one Marinka. I think today would be a great day for “yoga.”

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traci February 3, 2010 at 11:44 am

I’ve nothing snarky to comment but that ‘our heavenly father speaks only through men’ cracked me up. Though I would counter that with if that is so, then withholding of sex is only by the woman, so suck it, friend.

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Minivan mom February 3, 2010 at 11:54 am

Loved this post. Love the show.

I love Bill. I mean, sure, he has his asshole moments. But I cut him a lot of slack. He’s trying to manage 3 women, AND live his testimony, AND deal with his crazy family (hands down my favorite character on the show is his mother. I pretty much start giggling as soon as she comes on screen) AND make money AND fight the (and you know it’s coming) expectation that he is, indeed, the true prophet of Juniper Creek.

I’d be cranky if I was dealing with all that too.

You know what would make me less cranky? Sister wives. I am all over that scenario. A sister wife to clean the house and make dinner and pick up the kids while I work 60-70 hours a week? YES PLEASE. Another sister wife to keep minivandad happy in bed because I’m too tired from working 60-70 hours a week? DOUBLE YES PLEASE.

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Beth February 3, 2010 at 11:58 am

I would no sooner ban my husband from watching a television show than I would put up with being banned from one myself.

Unless my husband was 10. But then that would be sick, and a whole other issue.

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momtrolfreak
Twitter:
February 3, 2010 at 12:04 pm

Marinka, I would totally let you be my sister wife. How fun would that be? We could roll our eyes behind Bill’s back every time he says something. I did enjoy that on the last two episodes, the wives really did, at least at first, look at him like YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME when he said he wanted to run for Senate. That guy is the most self-centered asshole I have ever seen. I would rather be married to the airgun dude from No Country for Old Men than Bill Hendrickson. And what he did to his “best friend” in the last episode? you gotta be kidding me. WHY DO I CONTINUE TO WATCH THIS FREAKING SHOW?!?!?!?!??!

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GrandeMocha
Twitter:
February 3, 2010 at 12:14 pm

Can you take the bullet? Wow. Didn’t see that coming.

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Coco
Twitter:
February 3, 2010 at 12:43 pm

Yeah. I am not down with that whole I am the man and I rule the kingdom bullshit. Demand I do something and I will never do it even if I wanted to in the first place. Of course if he looked like Spartacus in Blood and Sand I might lean a little bit in that direction ….. sometimes……maybe.

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Wendi
Twitter:
February 3, 2010 at 1:11 pm

You’re just pissed off because you can’t pull off Compound Hair like I can.

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SoccerMom February 3, 2010 at 1:38 pm

I have just recently started watching this show. Thanks to my good friend Heather who metioned it was not really filmed in Utah.

Yes, I know Heather you said don’t start watching it in the middle. But I didn’t listen. So I have started right in at season 4.

I have to agree, good ole Bill wouldn’t last long in my house. I would have beat his ass and duct taped him to a chair.

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Happy Hour Sue February 3, 2010 at 1:39 pm

OMG I JUST said to my husband last episode “i would KILL myself if I was married to him”. he was like “Why?” and I was like “He’s such a NOODGE.” Oy, with the complaining and the whining and the moping and the scolding. It’s no wonder nikii cheated and margie’s about to boink his son.

“We need to “repair our relationship’…shut the fuck up.

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magpie February 3, 2010 at 1:44 pm

My husband hates Bill more than I do. Actually he hates everyone on the show, but watches it with me anyway.

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Suzy
Twitter:
February 3, 2010 at 1:50 pm

***And where friends is code for bartender***

And yet in every show they were at Central Perk drinking coffee.

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Slow Panic
Twitter:
February 3, 2010 at 4:52 pm

yeah. that’s why my husband is not allowed to watch that show. i don’t like that bill guy.

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Gretchen February 3, 2010 at 5:02 pm

I don’t know, honey, I’d LOVE to get me some sister wives! Bill may be an asshole, but at least those women can commiserate about it. I don’t have anybody when MY husband’s an asshole.

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Birdie February 3, 2010 at 5:43 pm

We cancelled HBO because DH couldn’t get over the fact that they supported a crapfest like Big Love and abandoned his favorite series, Deadwood and Rome, so I don’t miss BL. But I do miss Al Sweringen and Vorenus. : (

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Margaret (Nanny Goats)
Twitter:
February 3, 2010 at 6:54 pm

No, no, no,….multiple wives is a GOOD thing. That way, you only have a fraction of wifely duties. Then you can go run off to Barbados on vacation with your buddies while the other wives watch the kids, cook, clean, etc…in the frigid snow of Utah while you’re on the warm sandy beach, reading trashy novels with swear words in them and drinking Mai Tais.

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Braja February 3, 2010 at 6:55 pm

I kinda thought the assholery on that show was with the women for being stupid enough to get INTO that situation….what’s with that??!

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the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
February 3, 2010 at 10:42 pm

Why would anyone want THREE wives?

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Maravonda February 4, 2010 at 5:56 am

The only intelligent thing my husband has said in the past three years is (with BIG sarcasm): Bill Paxton is the world’s greatest actor. I agree. With the sarcasm, that is. I watch the show occassionally as one watches a train wreck…you know…it’s horrid and scary, and you can’t turn away. Blech.

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SweetPeaSurry
Twitter:
February 4, 2010 at 6:20 am

Ha ha ha … I was doubled over with laughter reading this post. I was raised in the Mormon faith. (FYI … polygamy isn’t supported by the Mormon church and has been banned for years and years!) I watched the show the first season, and while I agree Bill’s an asshole, those guys really ARE like that, so his acting is spot on. I couldn’t watch it anymore though because that Chloe Sevigney gives me the creepy crawlies … I cannot stand her for some reason!

You have recieved testimony … and are now permitted if not encouraged to go meet your ‘friends’ for ‘yoga’ often!

blessings!

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Kristen February 4, 2010 at 3:46 pm

I watch this show every week with my mom and every week I complain to her about him and every week she complains about him back to me.

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Tom Cat February 5, 2010 at 2:14 pm

If the show was about a wife with 3 husbands, would you feel the same? Let me answer my own question, “of course not.”

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Marinka February 5, 2010 at 5:48 pm

Bill is an asshole regardless of his marital status.

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Kate Coveny Hood
Twitter:
February 6, 2010 at 8:39 am

I somehow lost track of this show after Season One. And then we cancelled HBO. And by “we” I mean my financial advisor, and by “my financial advisor” I mean my husband. Maybe Heavenly Father told him that Big Love is a bunch of crap and that we should ban HBO altogether now… I’ll never know since HF doesn’t speak through me. But seriously – from what I’ve heard from Mormon bloggers – it really is crap. Damn I miss HBO.

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trudy February 7, 2010 at 7:57 pm

So it isn’t only my husband who quotes bill,my darling hubby often tells me that I am a great first wife!

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The gold digger February 8, 2010 at 3:15 pm

I love this show. LOVE IT. I have watched Season 1 and Season 2 and am on the waiting list for Season 3 at the library.

What is up with Nicky? And how cool would it be to share housekeeping duties and have someone to hang out with all the time? But I am not keen on the idea of sharing my husband with other women if you know what I mean. And really, does a man that age REALLY want sex every night? I mean come on. He must be exhausted. AND WHAT MAN WANTS THREE MOTHERS IN LAW? My husband lucked out because my mom is cool, but what if he got inlaws like I did? His parents are AWFUL. What if you had three sets of horrible inlaws?

This is fine for TV, but in real life? Wouldn’t work.

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