Don’t Marry Uma’s Ex

by Marinka on February 4, 2010

There things that I haven’t told you about, because I am superduper private (check out my webcam!) and also because I want to come across as relatable and likeable. For example, I haven’t told you that because we have children that are almost exactly the same age, I’ve seen Uma Thurman and Ethan Hawke several times at various places. And I haven’t told you that one day, when I was with Young Ladrinka at a sporting event, Ethan Hawke was there with his new wife.

But now I’ve told you, so I may as well tell you that there was an older man there, some kid’s grandfather and he was talking to the people that he was with, a little louder than was strictly necessary, and he said, “That guy over there is an actor and he used to be married to one of the most beautiful women in the world. Not that one,” motion to the new Mrs. Hawke, “I don’t know what THAT is, but the one who was in Pulp Fiction.”

Now the new wife was more beautiful than most women, but I think we can all appreciate the moral of this story.

Don’t marry Uma’s ex.
Hey, got an asshole friend? We can help!

Did you know that there’s a coyote in NYC’s Central Park? So cool. (Note to self: Avoid Central Park.)

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{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

February 4, 2010 at 8:09 am

i agree with the “older man” and ethan doesn’t look like he did in the movies reality bites or gattaca. uma is better off. i would freak if i was standing in line at the bakery and saw uma. oh, i miss NYC.


Cass February 4, 2010 at 8:35 am

I think this is a very good lesson. I’ve given this some thought….I could totally be the next average girl that gets picked up alla Matt Damon…but then I’d be the girl everyone says “Why’s he with ?” and that kills the dream every single time!


February 4, 2010 at 9:36 am

Another important life lesson? Celebrities are hard of hearing, so it’s fine to talk about them loudly and within a normal person’s earshot because they can’t hear anyway. Everyone knows that.


Sophie, Inzaburbs February 4, 2010 at 9:38 am

Awww, I think it is sweet that you want to pretend to be a normal person and not give away how impressive you really are 🙂

I promise that when Ethan gets rid of that ugly one, I will not marry him.
I also promise not to marry Brad Pitt post-Angelina. Or that french model guy once Halle Berry tires of him. I am not a waitress, so I think I am safe from the attentions of George Clooney.


February 4, 2010 at 11:40 am

you don’t think uma looks a little like a drag queen sometimes?


Marinka February 4, 2010 at 4:35 pm

I think that Uma looks absolutely perfect. As do some drag queens.


Sophie February 4, 2010 at 1:21 pm

Don’t know about Uma’s ex, I’m worried about Tim (i.e., Susan’s ex). How can I not take him? and don’t even get me started about Neil, ok? Just don’t.


Jennifer H February 4, 2010 at 2:38 pm

I think Uma’s got some nerve herself, dating Elle MacPherson’s ex.


February 4, 2010 at 4:00 pm

I love how people point at celebs. Like it’s suddenly okay to point at people in public.


Angie February 4, 2010 at 5:18 pm

See this is why I’m sticking around (and why you should never leave Husbandrinka). I’d hate for my husband’s new wife to have to endure such scrutiny and criticism after I’m gone. Poor thing.


Cathy February 4, 2010 at 6:26 pm

See, that’s exactly how I picture New York: All the cool people showing up in the same place at the same time. Tell me that’s how it really is.


February 4, 2010 at 6:52 pm

I would take my chances marrying Uma’s ex in order to get that close to Ethan Hawke. Just sayin’.


anna see February 4, 2010 at 9:09 pm

I’ll keep that in mind, but no guarantees!


the mama bird diaries
February 4, 2010 at 9:10 pm

I would marry Ethan Hawke in a damn heartbeat even if I was known as Ethan’s ugly ass 3rd wife. He had me at “Reality Bites.”

Did you read the piece on his in New York Magazine? Made me love him more.


Maravonda February 5, 2010 at 10:21 am

Of course I’ve never seen her in real life (you have a glamourous, exciting life, we know you do, Marinka!)..I have never understood men’s fascination with Uma Thurman. I don’t think she is pretty…interesting-looking, maybe. But so many men (in my life) have thought she is just amazing. They usually didn’t stay in my life long, come to think of it…


February 5, 2010 at 11:25 am

Angie made me snort!


Kate Coveny Hood
February 6, 2010 at 8:03 am

My fantasies about marrying various movie stars have never gone very far due to the obvious problem of me needing to lose 10 lbs and not being gorgeous and all of the perplexed looks that we’d get in public. apparently my imagination can’t make the stretch to me looking different. Shame really.

I can’t even imagine how much worse it would be if said star used to be married to another famous gorgous person. So unfortunately, I’ll just never be able to marry a movie star.


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