Because no one listens to me

by Marinka on August 27, 2010

come Sunday evening (and probably several hurricanes) we’re getting back on the ferry and leaving Block Island.

Don’t blame me if we all end up dead (tfu, tfu, tfu). Oh, what’s tfu, tfu, tfu? That’s the sound of my spitting three times over my left shoulder, which is what you’re supposed to do if you’re Russian and say something terrible and don’t want it to happen. Because, see, the Gods may be listening and think that you’re putting forth a genuine request, and make it come true. Because although they’re Gods, they skim your blog and don’t understand that you’re expressing a fear and not a desire. But once they see you spitting over your shoulder, that totally clarifies the whole thing for them, and then you’re safe. I’m pretty sure how that works.

(I’d ask papa to explain it to you, but I had to ban him from commenting on my blog, for making INAPPROPRIATE COMMENTS. I’m a little sad that the only two people that I’ve had to ban from commenting on my blog are papa and the Lady Ashfield, John’s gay friend, because he (1) kept MISSPELLING “Lady Ashfield” and posting about my labia, which is just insane because (a) he’s gay and (b) it’s my fucking labia, so lay off.)

Back to my possible demise (tfu, tfu, tfu). I was wondering if I should schedule some posthumous (tfu, tfu, tfu) posts so that while you’re all mourning, my page views wouldn’t suffer, so when I’m reincarnated, I can just pick up where I left off.

Here are some possible topics:

Monday: I’m Dead and It’s All Your Fault.

Tuesday: Bloggers I Don’t Like! (Mr. Linky!)

Wednesday: I’m Watching You From Above and I Don’t Like What I See! (Blog Carnival of Shame!)

I still need ideas for Thursday and Friday. You know, in case my reincarnation isn’t complete by then.

One year ago ...

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Second (First) Food | She Suggests
September 29, 2010 at 11:14 am

{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
August 27, 2010 at 10:59 am

There is no way God skims your blog.

Reply

Issa
Twitter:
August 27, 2010 at 11:42 am

You don’t think banning your own father from your blog, seems like a gamble? I mean you want the gods to get you safely home, right? Maybe you should un-ban your own dad for a few more days. To seem nice and stuff. Just until you get back into the city.

Reply

Miss Britt
Twitter:
August 27, 2010 at 1:05 pm

I think you’ll be able to ride Tuesday’s Mr. Linky traffic through the weekend!

Reply

deborah quinn
Twitter:
August 27, 2010 at 1:10 pm

I’m sorry, did you say something? Oh. Yes. Thursday’s post: You Didn’t Come to My Funeral/Wake/Shiva/Cremation And Now I’m Going to Haunt Your Ass

Reply

Sophie@Fabrications August 27, 2010 at 4:33 pm

How could you miss my favorite topic? Here, have it for Friday, coz everybody who’s having a shabbos meal is doing it:
“I told you so”.

Reply

Dino August 27, 2010 at 4:36 pm

Ideas for Thursday: Sorry for Monday & Tuesday
Ideas for Friday: Ask readers for Ideas for next week!

Reply

Anna See August 27, 2010 at 4:39 pm

Crap, I have nothing clever to say, but I’ve never been on of the first 10 commenters and don’t want to squander this opportunity!

Perhaps a memorial page with jr. high and high school era pics of you??

Reply

Yuliya
Twitter:
August 27, 2010 at 4:46 pm

Thursday- Mama and Papa take over blog! Revenge is a dish best served with pickled herring.
Friday- Husbandrinka Strikes Back!

Reply

marathonmom August 27, 2010 at 9:59 pm

I think God does skim your blog and he does not like you making fun of hurricanes around the anniversary of Katrina. Or Rita. Or Ike.

If Nikki pees on your Manolo’s, you are just gonna have to suck it up.

Reply

dusty earth mother August 28, 2010 at 8:55 am

Thursday: Papa says “So I’m banned from blog, eh? Not anymore!”
Friday: Papa says “You know, because you are dead now.”

I will pray for your safe passage. Please don’t drown. Although it did do wonders for Natalie Wood’s career.

Reply

Peajaye
Twitter:
August 28, 2010 at 9:10 am

If you’re intent on being reincarnated, here are some post suggestions:
Thursday: A Womb With A View.
A year from Friday: Watch out Bieber! I’m 3 months old and climbing the Charts!

Reply

MommyTime
Twitter:
August 28, 2010 at 11:21 pm

I have no topic ideas for you, as I’m just assuming you’ll be back by then — one way or another. I would suggest that you use a Ouija board to write your Thursday post, though. It would be a nice touch.

Reply

Gretchen August 30, 2010 at 10:32 am

My Italian inlaws say you not only have to spit over your shoulder, you also have to say “God forbid!” and cross yourself. Hope you didn’t screw up by missing that part.

But if you did…Thursday could be Memories of Marinka day, when we all have to leave really nice, glowing comments about you, no matter how untrue. Because you should never speak ill of the dead.

Reply

Meg D August 30, 2010 at 11:14 am

I’m assuming you survived your voyage since The Post didn’t have your face on the cover today but I’m posting this because 13 comments seemed like bad luck.

Reply

Loukia August 30, 2010 at 11:30 am

You know, Greeks and Russians are very, very similar. Instead of tfu, tfu, tfu – which, actually, we DO use and mutter – actually – it’s ‘ftou, ftou’ which means like, ‘evil stay away!’ or ‘Skordia sta matia sou!’ which means ‘garlic in your eye’ because when you say ‘garlic in your eye’ it keeps evil eye and evilness away. OMG. How crazy do I sound right now?

Reply

magpie September 2, 2010 at 2:48 pm

See now I thought that “tfu” business was “the fuck up, the fuck up, the fuck up”.

Reply

Shannon September 4, 2010 at 8:13 pm

Agree with Magpie!

Reply

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