BlogHer ’10: Common Myths Busted

by Marinka on April 2, 2010

Hi! Welcome Back to Getting Ready for BlogHer ’10 series!

Whether you’re a nubile newbie or a dogged veteran, this weeklyish series is for you as you prepare to attend the world’s biggest blogging conference for women (and Neil) this August in NYC.

Last week, we reviewed some topics that you should have started worrying about by now. If you missed that post, you should read it, and start worrying, immediately. As a bonus, you now have to worry about the fact that everyone else has been worrying for one whole week, while you have been blissfully ignorant. Which is fine, except now you’re behind and you have to catch up.

If you were with us last week, you know that “OMG, am I too fat for BlogHer?” is a common concern. You will witness it first hand in blog posts and Twitter starting in mid-June, escalating to full fledged hysteria by the end of July. Therefore, you took my advice and lost weight. Great job!

This week we will focus on some common BlogHer misconceptions.

#1. Just be yourself! When the more experienced bloggers start posting their advice, they will reassure you that you should just be yourself. This is fantastic advice if you are Angelina Jolie or Dooce. If you are neither of these women, I would suggest strongly you think twice about that advice.

Ask yourself, “how has being myself worked out for me so far?” and “Do I really need to go all the way to NYC to be myself? Wouldn’t this be a fantastic weekend to try out a new personality?”

Last year, at BlogHer, I decided to become gregarious. What did I have to lose, I figured. So, instead of sitting in my room and playing Free Cell, I told everyone that would listen that I “couldn’t wait” for BlogHer’s speed dating round.

What? Not familiar with BlogHer’s speed dating round? That’s when all the bloggers stand in two lines facing each other, like they’re about to start square dancing, except instead of square dancing, they introduce themselves to each other and then give a one minute recap of their blog. Then someone important yells NEXT! and you move one person over and start the whole thing again. Now normally, this is the type of thing that makes me free base hemlock, but gosh darn it, I was going to do this. Unfortunately, thirty seconds into listening about my partner’s crochet blog, someone tapped me on my shoulder and said “you’re in my spot.” And I was like “I’m not in your spot, I’m in my spot” and she said “I just went to put my broom down, and now I’m back, it’s my spot” and the crochet blogger was nodding and I was the only one in the room of five million ovaries who did not have a speed dial blogging partner. It’s a good thing that part of my new personality did not include deadly mortification.

2. The experience is what you make of it. This is just another variation on the “blame the victim” theme.

Had a lousy time? Felt left out? It’s your fault. Because you didn’t make everyone love you and want to include you in everything. Probably because you didn’t use a fake personality.

3. Big important bloggers are just like you and me! I love this one because it is impossible to disprove. Of course they are just like you and me because they breathe in oxygen, and have a digestive and respiratory systems, but the similarity may end there. Personally, I preferred to admire them from afar, in their natural habitat.

4. You will learn a lot! You totally will! I learned that content is important and that for everyone’s sake, I should be banned from Geek Labs. I also learned that while sitting in sessions, I can still text friends who are sitting two rows in front of me, watch them read my text, shake their heads and not respond. Oh, excuse me, your majesty, if I realized that you were so enthralled by this “Quality Writing is Important” session, I wouldn’t have dared to distract you.

Okay! We’re done for this week. Don’t forget to join us next week when I will offer you my Top BlogHer ’10 Helpful Hints. Preview Hint: Don’t Ask Your Roommate What She Would Do if You Died In Your Sleep. Because you will not be able to fall asleep.

Also! In the coming weeks, I will answer any questions that you may have, as you prepare for BlogHer, whether as an attendee or as a captive audience member. So email your questions to me at MarinkaNYC at gmail dot com.

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{ 1 trackback }

Culture Mom: Call Out for Posts for BlogHer Newbies
August 26, 2010 at 1:28 am

{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }

alexandra
Twitter:
April 2, 2010 at 1:10 am

I love hearing about this stuff. I’ll never go, but this is better than going…love the “I decided to become gregarious” bit.

Love it, thank you! I’m going to search if you have past posts on Blogher..this is good stuff.

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anymommy April 2, 2010 at 1:55 am

You are never going to let that blood in the butt thing go, are you? I still love you and I hope you are feeling gregarious and huggy in August.

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Amber
Twitter:
April 2, 2010 at 2:37 pm

HEHE I remember that post! Think I said something about pooping yourself when you die :P Ahhhhh could be one of my first comments here!

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Issa
Twitter:
April 4, 2010 at 3:25 pm

Should I be worried about this Stacey????

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melissa
Twitter:
April 2, 2010 at 7:34 am

i’m skipping speed dating this time.

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jen
Twitter:
April 2, 2010 at 8:27 am

i will likely be the person standing talking about my crochet blog with all it’s boringness. but it’s not a crochet blog. but still.

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Wendi
Twitter:
April 2, 2010 at 9:10 am

I heard that Speed Dating has been replaced with a LUV HUG chain this year. Perfect for you!

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Miss Britt
Twitter:
April 2, 2010 at 9:21 am

Fake personalities?

AWESOME!

This year I’m going as a blogger who got fired because of her blog but got her revenge by turning her blog into a major money maker. Piss Britt (my fake personality name) has two daughters and two weirdly talented cats. Or maybe dogs. People like dogs.

I know it seems a little out there, but, hey! At least I’ll be unique!

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Ann's Rants April 2, 2010 at 9:30 am

Meet you in the bathroom, on one of Dante’s seven layers of concourses. Bring the hemlock.

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Wendy
Twitter:
April 2, 2010 at 11:03 am

so it IS as much fun as I thought it was at that conf! i’d pack up the wagon and trek across country but oy, my fragile constitution probly couldn’t handle NYC + BlogHer combined!

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Karen at French Skinny April 2, 2010 at 11:08 am

THAT was fantastic! I am admiring from afar.

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anna see April 2, 2010 at 12:35 pm

oh shit.

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JustLinda April 2, 2010 at 1:01 pm

Will there be a booth that dispenses Xanax??

I mean, I have a friend and she’s nervous because it’s my, er, her first time. Xanax would be good.

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the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
April 2, 2010 at 1:13 pm

I can’t wait to see your new personality this summer. I’m going to be super exhausted but still super fun to be around.

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Tiffany April 2, 2010 at 2:07 pm

the whole social aspect of conferences scares the shiz out of me. i’ve tried taking fake me (wonderfully entertaining and all smiley-like) and leaving real me (cranky as hell and wishing everyone would leave me alone) at home. hasn’t worked yet.

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Heather, Queen of Shake Shake April 2, 2010 at 2:20 pm

Instead of fake personalities, can I bring multiple ones?

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Amber
Twitter:
April 2, 2010 at 2:39 pm

OKKKKK NOW I’m worried. I have to sell myself to EVERYONE in line? FACK!

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Erin Im Gonna Kill Him
Twitter:
April 2, 2010 at 2:55 pm

This sounds like forced fun. Will I be required to mount a table and fall backward into the outstretched arms of 10 women who might be too busy blogging from their Smartphones to catch me?
http://www.imgonnakillhim.com

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Sheila (Bookjourney) April 2, 2010 at 5:51 pm

This is so fantastic – love this post and laughing is always good stuff :)

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Lisa Rae @ smacksy April 2, 2010 at 6:02 pm

I finally remember why this sounds so familiar: Cheerleading Camp.
(I still have nightmares.)

Can I be one of Heather’s multiple personalities? I’ll be the puffy one with a travel mug of coffee adhered to my hand.

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fuck yeah, motherhood!
Twitter:
April 2, 2010 at 7:33 pm

my new personality is thinner, so it all works out.

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tracey April 3, 2010 at 10:11 am

Also, for everyone attending, be ready to answer the never-ending question of “Where’s Marinka?” I suggest implanting a GPS device on her when she’s speed-dating so as to be on the up-and-up. Everyone will come to YOU for Marinka’s latest movements and YOU will be prepared with an answer!

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Happy Hour Sue April 3, 2010 at 11:46 am

The absolute best time I had at BlogHer ’09 was the night of the Blogher Bowling party. Because I was not there. I was downtown with Lisalicious in Chicago’s gay district learning tips to get into the clubs from trannies. So i guess my tip is: make up your own events.

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Amy @ The Bitchin' Wives Club
Twitter:
April 3, 2010 at 5:22 pm

I think you ended up cutting in line right next to me at the speed dating thing, didn’t you? After you got cut out of the spot you were in? (And how does a person “lose their spot” in a line that is a circle of 700 people, anyway??) I seem to recall a breath of fresh air after speaking to four marketing people. People that didn’t even have blogs. Maybe this year we can just sit at our table and laugh at all the suckers in line. I mean WITH them!

And wait ’til you see the fake personality that I will be unleashing this year!

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Terresa Wellborn April 3, 2010 at 6:59 pm

Sweet honesty! My next conference is a writing conference but I’d love to go to a blogger conference. Have never been to one yet, may just go to CBC (Casual Bloggers Conference) in UT in May. But BlogHer? It would most definitely rock.

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Kate Coveny Hood
Twitter:
April 8, 2010 at 7:18 pm

I’m catching up on two weeks worth of an unread reader – so I’m not commenting much. BUT I have to tell you how much I love these BlogHer “hot to” posts. I’ll be going for the first time this year and I’ll have to come up with some questions to e-mail you…

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TwoBusy July 21, 2010 at 2:31 pm

What? Huh? Speed dating… WTF?

Goddamit. Nobody told me this BlogHer thing was going to be so complicated.

Time to start blaming the people responsible for talking me into buying a ticket.

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deborah quinn
Twitter:
July 21, 2010 at 5:07 pm

Gosh those things sound like fun. Please say there will be trust games, like the falling backward thing mentioned above, or maybe–BIG FUN–having to pass an apple around the room without using your hands? Love that one, especially after everyone has escargot or gazpacho at lunch. mmmm. (Maybe for the digital age, you could play “pass the iphone” with the big fun finale being: “find your iphone in that pile of 400!” ) Your list of worries ALMOST makes me wish I were going to be there, but alas I will be with my kids at Camp Grandma in the really fun state of Indiana, aka vacation capital of the western world. I plan to speak to my mother sternly about getting a goddam house by a goddam beach or at least a freaking lake, instead of in the middle of corn country. I will probably blog this conversation but no one will read it b/c you’ll all be busy passing apples (iphones?) around at BlogHer. –sob–sob–sob

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Christy July 21, 2010 at 6:22 pm

Will happily stage a speed-dating protest with you. Preferably somewhere quiet where you can actually speak to someone else. Why start a conference with an activity seemingly designed to make us all lose our voices in the first 5 minutes? Thanks for the laughs!

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suburbancorrespondent
Twitter:
July 21, 2010 at 6:36 pm

You’re kidding about the speed dating, right? Please tell me you’re kidding.

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pamela July 22, 2010 at 5:15 am

Speed dating? Omg I just died.

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