Could You Hurt a Fly?

by Marinka on April 21, 2009

Because of my own recent trauma with Craigslist, I’ve been avoiding the coverage of the Craigslist murder case as much as possible, but now that the suspect’s fiance has been speaking out and there are headlines that she is standing by her man and declaring that he “wouldn’t hurt a fly”, I am drawn to the story, and demand justice. Because I know people who wouldn’t hurt a fly. They are out of their fucking minds.

People who wouldn’t hurt a fly are generally a huge pain in the ass to be around because while the rest of us are sitting there with fly swatters and mini fly uzis, these people lecture us on reincarnation and how we are all god’s creatures and how it’s not the fly’s fault that it’s a fly. Which is one of those arguments that I personally like to avoid. Much like I like to avoid arguing with the unmedicated insane.

I’m not a conspiracy theorist, but let me run this by you.
A friend’s husband, Shmandbandrinka, cannot kill a fly. When confronted with a fly situation, he stands with a rolled up magazine, seeking to make eye contact with the fly and then takes a swing at it. He’s been on the receiving end of many useful hints over the years, including to actually make contact with the fly-victim. The constant missing causes a lot of cursing on his part and hysterical laughter on the part of whoever is observing this, but I can totally see how if he were wrongly accused of a crime, you’d want to get up there and say that “he wouldn’t hurt a fly”. Because letting the world know that your beloved is not only accused of murder, but also couldn’t get it together enough to harm a fly is mortifying.

One year ago ...

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