Papa Explains the Heist

by Marinka on April 21, 2010

Marinka: Papa, did you read my last blog post?

Papa: About art heist? Yes.

Marinka: Why do you think that no one has come forward to claim responsibility for it?

Papa: Because they don’t want to.

Marinka: But there’s a $5 million reward and immunity from prosecution. Why wouldn’t one of the thieves come forward?

Papa: They are probably dead.

Marinka: Why dead? It was only 20 years ago. They weren’t senior citizens then, art heisting in wheelchairs, they were probably young.

Papa: Because people who steal art from museums are not the types to do yoga. They are smokers and eat bacon. They are dead from health complications and lifestyle.

Sometimes, papa is the only one in the world who makes sense.

One year ago ...

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{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

April 21, 2010 at 9:40 am

I’m going to keep smoking, eating bacon and stealing paintings … I swear I’ll do it!!!


anonymous educator
April 21, 2010 at 9:50 am

Clearly Papa has never seen Ocean’s Twelve, starring the insanely flexible Vincent Cassel as a master thief.


Loukia April 21, 2010 at 9:59 am

You have a very wise Papa.


Jane April 21, 2010 at 10:32 am

Morning tea snort!!! ha


April 21, 2010 at 11:31 am

Love it!! Bright man.


Carolyn Online
April 21, 2010 at 1:28 pm

I think being and art heister sounds like a fascinating and fulfilling career. I’m off to get a slab of bacon and a carton of cigs to prepare for my new trade.


Crys April 21, 2010 at 1:39 pm

Ok, so what about the rest of us who AREN’T art theives, but still like bacon and cigarettes.?


Noelle April 21, 2010 at 4:56 pm

OMG, my husband totally eats bacon. I think he did it! I’m going to check his closet now!



Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him
April 21, 2010 at 5:36 pm

Hmmmm…G likes art and bacon and NOT doing yoga. And he had a lot of ‘challenging’ questions for the ADT alarm install guy last year. And Ocean’s 11 thru 19 are among his favorites. I’m starting to wonder why he hasn’t been buying me jewels and international vacations…

At least a male in your family reads your blog!


Lisa Lawrence April 21, 2010 at 6:38 pm

i love, love, love your papa..his comments make me smile. but then again your mama is hilarious too! so, so glad i found your blog.


Elise April 21, 2010 at 7:58 pm

Oh my gosh, I love your parents – the stuff that comes out of their mouths! Priceless.


dusty earth mother April 21, 2010 at 9:18 pm

Bless your papa. Give me his address. I’m sending him a gift basket of bacon ‘n’ butts.


always home and uncool
April 21, 2010 at 10:58 pm

Papa is a genius.


April 22, 2010 at 12:03 am

I’m getting me a T shirt that reads, “I Love Papa!”


the mama bird diaries
April 22, 2010 at 10:12 am

I am so glad I read this blog or else I would never know that art thieves are smokers and eat bacon.

BTW – why was your wedding ring in that fruit bowl? I will never stop asking until you address this issue.


elenka April 22, 2010 at 7:02 pm

I think about the very same thing!! We are going to visit the museum before summer sometime. I hear the empty frames are still hanging, displaying the wall in a very sophisticated way. After taking in the art and the ‘not so much art anymore’ we are probably going on a tour of the Samuel Adams Brewery.
Too much culture is probably unhealthy, a glass of the sudsy will clear things up.


Mo "Mad Dog" Stoneskin April 23, 2010 at 7:55 am

Drag, blow, cough, oink, crunch, grimace from chest pain.

Papa doesn’t know what he’s talking about.


anymommy April 23, 2010 at 7:56 pm

I miss papa when he’s not around, explaining everything so clearly.


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