The Crock Pot Cometh

by Marinka on October 5, 2009

What you missed yesterday: Due to Husbandrinka’s cruelty, I was unable to purchase a crock pot naturally in the store, and instead had to adopt one online. Every day I monitored its shipping progress, dreaming of the day that it would be in my arms. Finally that day arrived.

The crock pot arrived and I was totally ready. I had all the ingredients purchased in advance so as soon as the box was opened and the introductions were out of the way, I got right to work. The recipe (below!) was super easy, although by the time I finished opening all the cans I was totally drained and deprived of the will to live. So, I put it all in, set the slow cooker to “low” and sat back. I was cooking without gas. Perfect.

Husbandrinka got home an hour later and as I fetched him his pipe and slippers he glanced at the slow cooker, lifted the lid and said, “that looks pretty good! Is it ready?” and I said, “Almost! In six to seven hours.”
Which for some reason confused him. “In 7 hours, it’ll be 3 am,” he told me. Okay. And in eight hours, it will be 4 am, what are we learning to tell time or something?

“Yes, it will be ready at 3 am. Dinner will be late tonight. But we have lots of fresh water.”
Husbandrinka looks at me like I am deranged, but I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s a slow cooker. And it’s not my fault that I started dinner at 8 pm.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that you’re supposed to load it up in the morning so that the dinner is ready in the evening. Which is an excellent point, except UPS delivered the slow cooker in the evening and since I am not adept in time travel, how was I supposed to go back to the morning and prepare it?

So after that, Husbandrinka ate an egg sandwich and everything went smoothly. Except for the part where I had to set my alarm for 3 am in order to turn off the slow cooker. And then I had to taste the chicken taco soup, because it was just sitting there, looking all ready and lonely. And then after I tasted it, I had to drink eight bladdersfull of water because it was pretty salty. And then I spent the rest of the night peeing. And worrying if it was so salty that I developed instant hypertension. And asking everyone in my family to try it in the morning to see if they thought it was salty or it was just me.

But other than that, a great success! Really, I don’t know why everyone doesn’t get a crock pot.
____________________________

Secret Crock pot recipe for Chicken Taco Soup, that I got from an online friend:

Chicken Taco Soup

3 FROZEN boneless, skinless chicken breasts (they have to be frozen, doesn’t work if they are thawed. So be sure to take them out of the Styrofoam tray and bag them three to a bag before freezing)
1 Packet ranch dressing mix
1 Packet taco seasoning mix
2 Cups jarred salsa
1-15 oz. can black beans
1-15 oz. can canelli beans
1-15 oz. can kidney beans
1-15 oz. can pinto beans
1-15 oz. can vegetarian baked beans
1-15 oz. can corn

Put everything in the crock pot IN THE ORDER listed.

Next: The crock pot is ruining John’s life.

One year ago ...

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