The Details Are Not Important. And the Devil is in Them.

by Marinka on October 21, 2008

This morning, Husbandrinka and I interrupted our state of marital bliss and had a fight. As most of our fights are, it was very stupid and he was completely in the wrong. The details are not important, what’s important is that you back me up completely and be available to testify in my defense before a Grand Jury. Thank you.

OH, Ok! I’ll fill you in, but wow, are you nosy!

Last week, I was blow drying my luxurious (and as far as I know, lice-free) hair in my bedroom. What? The lice? More on this later on the week, when I stop vomiting. Anyway, since we’re in a recession and do not have a power strip, I had to unplug the lamp to plug in my hair dryer. And then when I unplugged my hair dryer, I didn’t plug the lamp back in because I was busy solving the current economic crisis, or irrigating the Sahara or possibly I saw a shiny object. As I said, the details are irrelevant.

So, this morning, Husbandrinka goes to turn on the light, and apparently because the lamp is not plugged in, the light does not turn on. I point this out to him, in my best Joe the Plumber manner. And you know what he says? He says “you should plug it back in, since you’re the one who unplugged it and it is your responsibility.” Exhibit 1, ladies and gentlemen.

I know many girls dream of being brides. I dreamed of my husband giving me an opening by telling me that I’m not doing my job, so that I can point out all the things that he has not done. I am so excited that my moment has come, except now I am like Cindy Brady on that quiz show where she is hypnotized by the red light and just keeps staring at it, unable to speak. Except I don’t have those pigtails that she had and I’m not lisping, nor am I wearing a miniskirt. I am also not a prepubescent fictional TV character, but perhaps you get where I am going with this.

This is my big moment and the only thing that I can think of is, “Well, when you take your dish in to the sink, you always leave it in the sink and it is your responsibility to put it in the dishwasher!”

And guess what he says? I’ll give you a hint: it is the most infuriating thing that a man can ever say this side of “are you getting your period or something?”. He says absolutely nothing, just goes along doing what he was doing. In the dark, but still.

So I resolve right then and there not to plug in that lamp, ever. EVER. I am enraged and engorged. With rage. As a matter of fact, I think I’ll unplug every other lamp in our apartment and take the batteries out of the flashlight for good measure. But then I change my mind and plug it in, to prove that I am the rational one. And I call him to show him. See? I plugged it in! Yay, me.
He looks at me as though I were crazy and says, “Well, now you have something to blog about.” Like I’d ever blog about that.

One year ago ...

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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

Kate Coveny Hood October 21, 2008 at 12:18 pm

If I hear about leaving lights on in the house, leaving the computer on, leaving the water running, whatever ONE MORE TIME… My husband will deposit socks on the floor, directly IN FRONT OF the hamper without a single thought. But god forbid I leave the basement light on because I am afraid of the dark and can’t climb stairs with a dark basement behind me without imagining some manifestation of the undead lunging for my ankles. God I hate Halloween season… Anyway – he always uses that wasting money/energy conservation excuse for his insensitivity. Men.

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Mama Ginger Tree October 21, 2008 at 1:36 pm

OK, I have to take your side on this one. My husband gets angry because I leave my shoes all over the house. You’d think I refused to do his laundry for two weeks or something.

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kia (good enough mama) October 21, 2008 at 1:48 pm

Dooooood! You so should NOT have plugged in the lamp. What the feck are you thinking? Go back and unplug it. Then? NEVER EVER plug it back in again. Period? Feckers.. They always go back to the Period. When it’s convenient for THEM. Any other time? We’re just making excuses for ourselves…

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binks October 21, 2008 at 2:23 pm

I hear you sistrinka.
There has been a cup of unused Wesson oil on the counter that the hubby used to cook some breakfast item two weeks ago! I am bound and determined that it is not my responsibility to dispose of this, yet there it sits.
Jeez, the guy cooks you breakfast in bed and then wants you to do the dishes. What is up with that?

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anymommy October 21, 2008 at 2:37 pm

Way to take the high road? I think you took the high road.

“Why don’t you blog about it? Don’t worry, I will” has become our favorite way to end an argument. I told him he should get his own blog and then we can fight via blog and we will be so cutting edge. Why yell at each other, we’ll just snipe at each other with an audience!

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Sophie, Inzaburbs October 21, 2008 at 4:56 pm

I am totally on your side. Totally. This evening my husband switched off the kitchen light as I was serving dinner because he was going to sit at the dinner table and I *apparently* always forget to switch it off.
Yet this is the man who thought it totally reasonable that the cleaner ran the dishwasher on a full 90 minute cycle to wash three mugs, two glasses and a bread plate.
I give up. I do.
Wow, it feels good to vent!

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Kylie w Warszawie October 22, 2008 at 12:35 am

My husband and I fight about cleaning. Not that he does and I don’t or he doesn’t and I do, but that I can’t stand the way he behaves when he cleans.

Yeah, that’s what we fight about. That and he does it wrong.

My bff always laughs when I email her about our fights. At least someone thinks it’s funny.

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Kristine October 22, 2008 at 8:25 am

This could be me and my husband. Seriously.

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jen October 22, 2008 at 10:54 am

my husband is neurotic about all of his shirts hanging the same direction in his closet.
when i’m pissed…i flip some of them around.
or if i’m really pissed…i mix some of the collared shirts in with the t-shirts.
ooo. payback.
in other words…don’t piss me off…there’s no telling what i’ll do!

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Anna Lefler October 22, 2008 at 5:27 pm

Forget plugging or not plugging. That lamp has got to go.

I got rid of mine and things are much better here now that I can’t see him with that “are you getting your period?” look on his face.

And since I got rid of the kitchen light bulb, I don’t have to look at the stinkin’ cereal bowls piled up in the sink.

Damn light.

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Vodka Mom October 23, 2008 at 3:43 am

but the big question remains……WERE you getting your period?

damn those man. damn them to hell.

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Anna See October 23, 2008 at 5:04 pm

You definitely took the high road on this one.

This reminded me of an episode of Everyone Loves Raymond, pretty much the only one I ever saw. Ray and his wife would not budge on who should carry a suitcase upstairs… for weeks.

At our house it’s the stairs, too. Am I the only one who understands that items placed on the stairs should be carried by their owners upstairs? Not just mom, the family pack mule?

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Lish October 24, 2008 at 12:43 pm

Every once in awhile I get sentimental for my married days. Thanks for the reminder that it wasn’t all sunshine and roses. Wait… I never got roses.

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Heather, Queen of Shake Shake October 25, 2008 at 3:32 am

Aren’t men like the best thing on earth since hemorrhoids?

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Heidi October 27, 2008 at 1:26 pm

I am impressed with your High Road. I would have totally gone the other route. My man is scared to death of candles, he thinks I’m going to burn the house down. He must have been a wick in another life.

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Amy @ Milk Breath and Margaritas November 4, 2008 at 9:03 am

This is so funny! I came over from the Shake-Shake. Good to meet ya!

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