Eating Healthy

by Marinka on March 23, 2010

Recently I became a vegetarian. Because I don’t want to die of high cholesterolism. But I also don’t want to sound self-centered, so I decided to lie to everyone and tell them that I’m now a vegetarian because “I love animals”. It’s hard to say that with a straight face, so I have to practice a lot.

“It’s not just about me,” I tell mama. “There are other beings in this world and we must share the planet.”
“So don’t eat the rest of the planet, just have the drumstick,” Mama tells me. She had lived through my teenage vegetarianism and the scars have not yet healed.
“I just couldn’t live with myself,” I let her know and feel incredibly holy.

It’s not easy giving up meat, but I have the courage of my convictions. And the whole feeling superior to others thing isn’t hurting, either.

“I prefer not to eat flesh,” I tell Husbandrinka as he’s sauteing whale bladder or something.
“Suit yourself,” he tells me and adds some garlic to the pan.

I decide to try to convert the weak minded, i.e. children.
“I’ve decided to stop eating animals,” I tell my daughter as we’re strolling through the Bronx Zoo.
“Ohh, I love animals so much!” she coos. “But they are really delicious.”

Carnivores. They just don’t get it.

One year ago ...

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{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }

GrandeMocha
Twitter:
March 23, 2010 at 9:13 am

They are really delicious. I’m already dreaming of my lunch at 9 am.

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amy2boys
Twitter:
March 23, 2010 at 9:33 am

That’s hilarious that she said that – in the zoo! I could be vegetarian if it wasn’t for bacon. Um. Bacon.

I am convinced my life would be improved if your mama lived next door to me. And my blog would be better.

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Cass March 23, 2010 at 10:02 am

I’m on this track too. I feel better when I don’t eat meat. And I think it’s the right thing to do.

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the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
March 23, 2010 at 10:26 am

Does this mean you won’t be treating me to any more steak dinners?

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Coco
Twitter:
March 23, 2010 at 10:26 am

Marinka, You are so very funny. I love your explanations, thoughts and witty comebacks. Thank you for the fun.

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christy March 23, 2010 at 11:07 am

Your daughter clearly inherited your humor gene!

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marathonmom March 23, 2010 at 11:38 am

My mother still calls it cholesterlol. And she was born and raised in this country.

I kind of hate meat too because it’s such a mess to clean up. Because you have to cook it to just the right temperature. It’s so much easier to whip open a box of cheerios. Or pringles. And now they have gummy bear vitamins for adults so we don’t need much food at all. Which is good, because we can send all that food to people overseas that are starving.

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Keyona
Twitter:
March 23, 2010 at 11:47 am

Sorry…I don’t understand. I think this is the way God wanted it. Why mess with that?

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SoccerMom March 23, 2010 at 11:47 am

All i got to say is good luck. It’s not easy. Especially if you are the only one in your household eating like that.

My daughter and her boyfriend have been trying to be vegetarians on /off for awhile. Its just so hard.

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Issa
Twitter:
March 23, 2010 at 12:23 pm

I could only do it if somehow bacon became an acceptable vegetarian food.

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Zee March 23, 2010 at 12:39 pm

I really love animals and hate the way they are raised for food. I’ve cried when I read about or saw a documentary about what they do to them.

I’m also a gigantic hypocrite, because I’m totally OK with abandoning all my convictions when it comes time to eat. I just can’t see spending $25 for a free-range chicken when I can get a sad little cage bred, hormone-fed one for four bucks.

I believe that if God didn’t want us to eat meat, He wouldn’t have made it taste like meat.

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alexandra
Twitter:
March 23, 2010 at 12:44 pm

Oh, vegetarians..I admire you all so much. Me, I just can’t pass up a good BBQ chicken on the grill.

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Sophie March 23, 2010 at 2:16 pm

Eating a drumstick without the lovely, crispy skin is just like vegeterianism. Eating just the chicken breast is closer to veganism.
Fooi.

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six in the city March 23, 2010 at 4:28 pm

Your daughter is hilarious.
I actually just became a vegetarian again. I was one a few years back but slowly fell off the wagon into a bowl of fried chicken.
I watched Food Inc and decided to give it a go again. To be honest, I don’t even miss it.

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Lisa March 23, 2010 at 6:17 pm

When I was a vegetarian and people asked why I would tell them it was because I hated vegetables. :O)

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Jonathan March 23, 2010 at 7:59 pm

If I became a vegetarian, I would eat nothing but pizza and twinkies.

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Maddnessofme March 23, 2010 at 8:50 pm

I would eat fish but I can’t because I have a nose.

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Hally March 24, 2010 at 4:12 am

I had a desire to go vegetarian a few years ago, but when I started dating one of the biggest carnivores on the planet that plan just fell through. When planning dinner and hinting that we can skip the meat-part, I get this odd look in return and a comment about it not being a complete meal if it doesn’t include meat..
I admire those who can live without meat and wish I had the courage to do it myself.

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Amy March 24, 2010 at 8:11 am

Good call, choosing superior over self-centered. People LOVE that.

xo, Amy

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bronxbee March 24, 2010 at 5:32 pm

i think it was stephen wright who said, “I’m a vegetarian. Not because I love animals. But because I hate plants.”

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Noelle March 25, 2010 at 3:41 am

I haven’t eaten beef or pork in 20 years. I used to be vegetarian but now I eat chicken. When people ask me why I say because chickens are stupid.

Because, you know, cows are geniuses ;p

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traci March 25, 2010 at 6:54 pm

Oh my gosh. You are such a COPYCAT. Except that my kids gave up meat for Lent and I followed along because I didn’t think it’d be very supportive to nosh on bacon and ribs in front of them.

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Mary @ Holy Mackerel
Twitter:
March 29, 2010 at 9:19 pm

I wouldn’t mind me a bit of whale bladder right about now…

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Melissa
Twitter:
April 25, 2010 at 9:43 am

I’m a vegetarian and my health is primary. Everything else, like animals and carbon emissions, are nice secondary benefits that hold up the pedestal from which i look down upon at the meat eaters.

Is it weird that this post made me want fried chicken?

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