Fair

by Marinka on May 4, 2011

I’m afraid I’m going to need you to be kind and gentle and comment in hushed, relaxing tones.

Because yesterday my 12 year old daughter and I went to a NYC High School Fair, where we met representatives from many of the area’s high schools all gathered in one room. It was really crowded, so it was a good thing that my blood pressure went straight through the ceiling and pierced a vent that let in sunshine and fresh air and a few puffy clouds.

My daughter is so excited about high school. She is thrilled with the choices, even though she knows that we’re not looking at private schools. (Because they’re expensive.)

I am terrified. I am terrified about the passage of time, of losing the girl who will still hold my hand sometimes, I am terrified of her going to a school that won’t appreciate that sometimes she is quiet. Because although we live in a world that is about half introverts, half extroverts, it is the people who are the quietest that get lost sometimes.

I am also worried that she’ll want to go to a school that we can’t afford.

Yesterday she told me about a school that she was excited about. It is a new school, still being built. “They teach about the whole world,” she said. “After your first year, you travel to China!”

I think I must have passed out. CHINA? As in CHINA China? Maybe China is what they’re calling Connecticut these days to appear more multicultural?

“The only bad news is that it’s $38,000 a year,” she said.

“That is terrible news,” I told her. “The very worst. And it means, sadly, that you can’t apply.”

There are definitely silver linings to not being able to afford things.

One year ago ...

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{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }

Lynn MacDonald (All Fooked Up)
Twitter:
May 4, 2011 at 10:11 am

I can’t even imagine this…it’s so different down here but i will tell you that IF you have a great relationship with your daughter, she will still hold your hand. JUST NOT IN PUBLIC.

My girls are 21 and 20 and when they come home, we cuddle. YEP CUDDLE. We’ll put on a movie and snuggle under the blanket. Time will pass but you won’t lose them…promise

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the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
May 4, 2011 at 10:12 am

I guess it turns out that I grew up in China.

I share your terror. Apparently, it’s a badge of motherhood.

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Megan May 4, 2011 at 10:34 am

You would deny your daughter the opportunity to expand her horizons and get the best possible education all because of a measley $38.000 a year? What kind of monster are you? Can’t you just get another job?

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ChiTown Girl May 4, 2011 at 10:45 am

I’ve been having many of the same feelings today, stemming from the fact that my BABY is taking his freakin’ SENIOR PORTRAITS tonight. Ugh! It hearts my heart just writing it. 🙁

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Steph May 4, 2011 at 10:56 am

I can relate to your pain. Our 13-year old daughter is now looking at high schools. How did this happen? oh and she too wanted to go to a $$$$ school. Can’t happen. Between your post about the older child and Kelcey’s last-baby post, I am emotionally exhausted!

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Phoenix Rising
Twitter:
May 4, 2011 at 10:58 am

surely you have some precious heirlooms you could sell. Send the kid to China!

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Miss Britt
Twitter:
May 4, 2011 at 11:50 am

I am so confused.

What kind of high school has a tuition but isn’t private? Is there another option besides public or private?

Clearly I have a lot to learn about New York City.

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Penbleth
Twitter:
May 4, 2011 at 12:55 pm

My mother used to say, “it’s not much if you say it fast”. Still meant we couldn’t afford it though. Who needs China when you can have NY? That’s overseas, to me.

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Rima
Twitter:
May 4, 2011 at 1:22 pm

I can’t believe you have a daughter old enough to be starting high school! Why, you must have borne her when you were sixteen!

I was livid with my parents when they refused to allow me to attend my first choice university because it was too far away from home. I went to a school I wasn’t crazy about. And I ended up getting married and raising my family about ten minutes from my parents’ house.

In hindsight, I can’t imagine having gone through PPD without them, or not having them around to help out when the kids were very small. So don’t send her to China for high school and make sure that Berkeley application gets lost in the mail.

Just kidding.

Not really.

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always home and uncool
Twitter:
May 4, 2011 at 2:15 pm

I fear the same thing with my kids and college. Well, not my daughter so much. She has “trophy wife” written all over her.

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tracy
Twitter:
May 4, 2011 at 3:13 pm

I seriously love being poor. It makes decision making so much easier…and a place to lay all blame.

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tracy
Twitter:
May 4, 2011 at 3:36 pm

..oh also..you look WAY too young to have a daughter that old.

Reply

Issa
Twitter:
May 4, 2011 at 5:36 pm

I can’t read this post anymore. I am not letting my oldest turn ten this December. I’ve just decided. Turning ten leads to bad things. Like turning eleven. Going to HS. Dating. Nope. No ten for her.

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Braja May 4, 2011 at 9:19 pm

Seriously?? I mean, Jesus, I give you a shout out on my blog, because i’m so damned generous and amazing to know, I’m just like that…..and what do I get in return? Some serious shit about schooling?? Can you please go back to writing about the personal tastes of pedophiles, cos that was riveting and rib cracking entertainment, and frankly that’s what you’re famous for so get the ^%$ on with already….

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Alexandra
Twitter:
May 4, 2011 at 10:15 pm

We, also, are fortunately blessed with the same situation.

Our poverty saves us on a daily basis.

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Juli
Twitter:
May 4, 2011 at 10:16 pm

There should be a rule. No school trips to foreign countries until you are in college and dating the wrong guy.

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Kalisa
Twitter:
May 4, 2011 at 10:27 pm

Our situation was kind of the opposite. We didn’t like the HD we were districted in, so we were making arrangements to send Elijah to the private school his dad graduated from (Christian Bros). Then they redrew the lines & we were suddenly in the district of the public high school where all his middle school friends were going. Elijah begged us to let him go to school with his friends. We weighed all the oppositions, and then I found out that CBHS doesn’t serve lunch! I would be making his lunch FOR THE NEXT FOUR YEARS. It was at that point that I relented and figured really. What’s the harm in public school anyway?

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Kalisa
Twitter:
May 4, 2011 at 10:29 pm

*HS

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Kalisa
Twitter:
May 4, 2011 at 10:30 pm

*options. For fucks sake it’s impossible to type on a damn iPad.

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annie May 5, 2011 at 3:40 pm

Suddenly $2,000 for a HS band trip doesn’t sound too bad. My daughter thanks your daughter!

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Alina Adams May 5, 2011 at 4:21 pm

Alas, I believe the Avenues school offers financial aid. Sometimes, being REALLY poor (and diverse, don’t forget diverse! like parents being born in a foreign country diverse!) can work for you….

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