Young Ladrinka and I had a splendid Sunday planned last weekend, centered around the fact that we were heading to CitiField to watch our beloved Mets play.
But before we headed out to the stadium, Young Ladrinka shared with me that he knows that Husbandrinka and I love our daughter more, and that he is a distant second and that usually he is ok with that state of events, but that particular morning it was hard for him to take.
He had a good point, of course, because this was brought on by the fact that he and I were at a local grocery store and I, already holding 2 pounds of stewing beef and a package of mushrooms, asked him if he’d mind getting some carrots and holding on to them until we got ready to pay.
It turns out that he did mind, very much so, because he is exhausted from having to hold all things all the time and not only that, but according to him, I’ve never, not once, asked my daughter to hold anything, she’s practically Venus de Milo (you know, without arms) while he is trapped in a Myth of Sisyphus, having to haul a boulder up a hill in perpetuity, except in this case, hauling boulder = holding a 12 ounce bag of baby carrots.
I was momentarily stunned by his accusation and explanation, which gave him time to advance his argument by suggesting that we only had him because our daughter was so perfect we wanted another one just like her and then we were disappointed by him and that’s why we stopped having kids. As soon as he said it, he seemed a little stunned himself, like he couldn’t believe that he actually came up with something like that, but then he dug in.
Yes, he demanded to know, why did we stop having children RIGHT AFTER HE WAS BORN? Did we think that he wouldn’t notice the “coincidental” timing? Perhaps we thought he was stupid in addition to being not favorite?
So he had me. He ran circles around me logically, and I had to concede that I failed him as a mother and the world as a human being. That, or I had a discussion with him that ran so long that we were almost late to see our beloved Mets. They’re our favorite, you know. That’s why we never ask them to hold a bag of baby carrots.
One year ago ...
- Citizen's Arrest - 2011