Gonorrhea

by Marinka on January 27, 2010

I’ve told you before mama’s feelings about lice, but if you are new to this blog, you should review them here. ┬áThat was written over a year ago and you’d think that mama would have become more modern on the whole lice issue. But you would be wrong, because mama still maintains that lice is disgusting.

So, it’s with a song in my heart that I had to tell her that several people in my daughter’s class had lice and we were now on Lice Watch ’10, which involves daily checking of hair to make sure that it is lice-free.
“If my granddaughter gets the lice, I will be the dead from the shame,” mama announced.
“Why do you have to be so dramatic? Kids get lice! It’s no big deal!” I was the voice of reason.
“No big deal?” mama was outraged. “Okay, I have gonorrhea. Tell everyone. It’s no big deal.”
So, there you go.
Disclaimer: Mama does not really have gonorrhea. I don’t even know how she knows that word.

One year ago ...

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{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }

Casey January 27, 2010 at 11:09 am

Gonorrhea? Lice? What’s the big deal. I have both!

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Keyona
Twitter:
January 27, 2010 at 11:24 am

I would question how she knows that word, I’m sure it will make for a post of it’s own.

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blognut
Twitter:
January 27, 2010 at 11:24 am

Actually, I think it might be easier to get rid of gonorrhea than it is to get rid of head lice.

Just sayin’… ­čÖé

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Heather, Queen of Shake Shake January 27, 2010 at 12:21 pm

I had NO IDEA you could get lice from having sex with dirty partners!

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Issa
Twitter:
January 27, 2010 at 1:17 pm

I think you should explain it to her. And then ask what she thinks about shameful lice.

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Coco
Twitter:
January 27, 2010 at 1:39 pm

It isn’t shameful but it is a major huge pain in the ass to get rid of especially when you have two daughters that had very long thick hair.

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Heather (qtberryhead) January 27, 2010 at 3:46 pm

I seriously want to adopt your Mama.

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Crys January 27, 2010 at 3:53 pm

Mama and My husband should get together, the whole lice thing was AWFUL because he was such a goober about it. Its a childs rite of passage, making it honorable is a GOOD thing Marinka

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Roshni January 27, 2010 at 4:25 pm

okay, so I guess you did tell everyone (even though you issued that disclaimer)!!. Now you’re in for it!

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Sprite's Keeper
Twitter:
January 27, 2010 at 4:59 pm

I think my husband wants our daughter to get lice if only so he can get her hair cut without me screaming.

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A Mom on Spin January 27, 2010 at 6:16 pm

Now if your kids got gonorrhea, I’d be worried. . . .

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the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
January 27, 2010 at 8:56 pm

Gonorrhea is the new lice.

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anna see January 27, 2010 at 10:36 pm

I’ll just take the crabs.

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Sophie January 28, 2010 at 2:40 am

One word: pinworms.

Well, the suspicion of, anyhow. And i’m totally wormphobic. aaaaagch.

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Sophie January 28, 2010 at 2:41 am

Also, i’m super susceptible, and now my head itches like mad.

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SweetPeaSurry
Twitter:
January 28, 2010 at 3:13 am

I’d get out one of those old fashioned scales … you know … like lady justice holds? Right … got it? Okay … now put Lice on one side … and H1N1 on the other … which is the lesser of the two evils? I’d say lice! Although, I have to admit those teeny tiny combs are a real pain in the arse!

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Wendi
Twitter:
January 28, 2010 at 8:54 am

I’m with Sophie. Now I’m itching like a mofo.

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kiki
Twitter:
January 28, 2010 at 1:51 pm

speaking of Gonorrhea…do you think any of the contestants on these dating reality shows are tested for STDs prior to participating? if i were making out with Tila Tequila, Jake the Bachelor, or Flava Flav, i would want to know i was safe. take care.

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kiki
Twitter:
January 28, 2010 at 1:52 pm

BTW, i got lice in the third grade after allowing a friend to brush my hair with her hair brush. NEVER AGAIN!

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Lady Ashfield January 28, 2010 at 6:19 pm

perhaps, if you spelled gonorrhea the British way, Mama could beam more proudly. you know- as gay John will attest- EVERYTHING British is classier…even gonorrHOea.

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Kate Coveny Hood
Twitter:
January 29, 2010 at 1:50 am

Gonorrhea – Lice. Tomato – Tomahto.

I do love the image of someone’s mother saying that though. My all time favorite shocker line from my own ladylike mother was “now I’d say, ‘fuck your jam!'” In context it’s pretty hilarious.

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Noelle January 29, 2010 at 4:28 am

I never thought gonorrhea could make me laugh so hard!

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always home and uncool
Twitter:
January 29, 2010 at 9:59 am

If she got crabs, it’d be like a two-for-one, right?

Reply

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