If My Twitter Updates Were Protected

by Marinka on July 2, 2009

So one of life’s mysteries to me is when someone on Twitter follows you and you go to check them out and follow them back and it says that their updates are protected and that you have to seek the person’s permission to follow them.


So, how does that work exactly?
“OMG, your Twitter ID is so awesome, I must follow you! Please, please let me!”

But of course I’m curious. What are these people Tweeting behind their locked accounts that they don’t want the rest of us to see? Do they not get that Tweeting at its best is exhibitionism?

So I came up with a list of things that I would Tweet if I had a protected account:

1. In case I forget, my bank PIN is 83775

2. Just learned secret recipe for Coke. Will tweet later.

3. The following bloggers are huge whores:

4. A lot of lint in my belly button today.

5. I love “Wheel of Fortune”.

6. I have a new wrinkle.

7. I bet everyone’s wondering what secret things I’m tweeting about!

8. Maybe cover up while you breastfeed?

9. Thank goodness I can tweet about all the great sex I’ve been having!

10. God, I’m so jealous of Dooce! Why couldn’t it have been me? WHY? I felt sad when my kid was born, too! Fuck. Must leave her more loving comments!

11. I’m sorry @mommywantsvodka that I called you a huge whore. I forgot you were one of my followers. I was kidding.

One year ago ...

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