I’m Going to Be a Better Blogger. Just You Wait!

by Marinka on September 10, 2010

I read a lot of blogs. You can even see what I’m reading by checking out the Reading tab at the top. I steer towards humor blogs, gorgeous writing by friends and others who I hope to one day plagiarize. And of course I’m always on the look out for great blogging tips from Pro Blogger. And I haven’t been disappointed. Because recently I read a fantastic article on how to be a better blogger.

It’s about How to Make My Blog Sound Like a Trusted Friend. Yes! That is exactly what I need. Because if you think that this blog is your good and trusted friend, you will get it a birthday gift and maybe even fix it up with another blog! Why, you may even consider leaving this blog something in your Last Will and Testament!

So I decided that I’m going to follow the tips.

The first rule is that I have to Respect the Audience. Hmm. Well, consider it done! I’ll totally respect you in the morning, er…audience.

Rule two: I have to Imagine My Audience Member Sitting Next To Me Naked. Ok, so the article didn’t specify naked, I just added it for fun, since we’re friends. And if we’re friends, why the hell is this audience member sitting next to me while I’m doing all the typing and heavy lifting. It’s really hard for me to respect the Audience as a whole when this specific member seems to be such a sloth.

Rule three: I need to Stay Off My High Horse. Oh, eye roll. The things I do for the Audience. Because I am good and all-knowing and kind.

Rule four: I have to Use Personal Phrases. I think that means that I have to preface everything with I think and after you. And maybe share my social security number every once in a while.

And finally, Rule five: I should Put the Reader in the Picture. I don’t know. Bossy does this with her Featured Gay. But as far as I know, I only have a few gay audience members. Do you want to see their picture?

So, rest assured, dear Audience! And come sit next to me! A better blog is on the way!

Psst! My friend Annie started a new blog, Lost in the Chaos. She’s smart and funny and I love it already. Go check it out! (You’re welcome!)

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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

annie September 10, 2010 at 10:28 am

Hey thanks for the link my trusted friend! You’re already in my will – you’re ok with getting my husband right? He’s a little hairy but he does the dishes and grocery shops.


September 10, 2010 at 11:05 am

Hey, if ain’t broke…


September 10, 2010 at 11:30 am

Oh good cause it was such a stinkfest before…thank Goodness for ProBlogger!
Pictures of the Gay? yes please!


christy September 10, 2010 at 11:36 am

Better not switch it up Marinka. And your friend is really funny – of course I’m not surprised!


Awesome dude September 10, 2010 at 11:42 am

One only becomes better by doing what he or she does…

It is not advisable to be admitted to the hospital in July-September and it is exactly for that reason.


September 10, 2010 at 12:47 pm

I read Lost in the Chaos. Its like Marinka with cancer. Its not you though is it?


Gretchen September 10, 2010 at 2:01 pm

You are truly my new best and trusted friend. Because they just delivered my new VACUUM CLEANER! I swear to God! I’m so excited I could spit. Wait…I really could spit, and then vacuum it up with my new VACUUM CLEANER! Woohoo!


September 10, 2010 at 4:19 pm

In case you wondering which member of the audience I am, I’m the one sitting next to you naked feeling grandly respected and spoken TO not AT for the first time now that we’re on equal footing.

I had already visited Annie and couldn’t remember how I found her in the first place. I now remember where I heard about her. You tweeted about one of her posts the other day, didn’t you? (Please say yes, otherwise I found her through osmosis and that’s too weird for me to cope with today.)


Heather, Queen of Shake Shake September 10, 2010 at 5:00 pm

I don’t know that I want to see a picture of a gay per se, but I would like to see a picture of myself on your blog. We could always lie and say I’m gay, only a very confused one, like a woman trapped in a woman’s body and that’s why I like penises. Yes, that sounds perfect! A picture of me on your blog with the caption “This woman likes penises!” Obviously I put the “ass” in class.


September 10, 2010 at 5:07 pm

I thought your post said “I’m going to be a bitter blogger..” so naturally I came right over..LOL. I cannot see shit with these contacts anymore up close.. great post!


Jeanne September 10, 2010 at 6:19 pm

I don’t see any naked people.

Where are the naked people?


ann's rants
September 10, 2010 at 9:08 pm

Now that we’ve learned from those brilliant assmen (not worthy of admen) I’m thinking you could learn to *anticipate* with a lower horse. A pony. And some cute new riding boots.


September 11, 2010 at 12:14 am

No, please, just leave Motherhood in NYC the way it is.. Well, if you must know, a little bit more papa?

Thank you.

Off to see your friends blog, b/c I don’t follow enough already..


September 12, 2010 at 9:29 am

I totally skimmed over that article in my reader. I like your version better, ROFL


the mama bird diaries
September 12, 2010 at 10:03 am

that problogger article got 237 tweets?! OMG.


September 12, 2010 at 3:21 pm

There’s no way you can ever get off your high horse.


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