I’m Right, You’re Wrong!

by Marinka on November 9, 2010

Welcome to another edition of I’m Right, You’re Wrong, where I present a mini-dispute that I’ve been having and ask you to weigh in.

You don’t have to agree with me! (But it doesn’t hurt!)

This week’s dilemma: How do you eat a Kit Kat bar?

Hi, I'm a Kit Kat Bar! I'm not on any phase of the South Beach Diet, so why does Marinka have me? Oh, right! Research!

Disagreers: Marinka and Insane People

Position One: You break off each quadrant individually, like God intended you too, and eat one of them at a time, savoring each precious bite.

Hi! I'm naked Kit Kat! Isn't Marinka the worst food photographer?

Position Two: Just eat it. Bite across all four rows at once and avoid getting your hands dirty. Efficient.

Where do you come out on this?

One year ago ...

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{ 59 comments… read them below or add one }

Sorry for the Convenience
Twitter:
November 9, 2010 at 1:36 am

A. Position One is correct. God’s intentions are very clear on this point.
B. Your second photo caption included the words “Kat” and “naked.” Close call there – I was momentarily concerned you were about to show off some of those Dennings cell phone pics.
C. Concerned might not be precisely the right word.

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Silvain November 9, 2010 at 2:06 am

In theory, I support position one- clearly they are made for breaking into individual sticks, as evidenced by both their design AND the commercials for them. But in practice, I end up just biting into them half the time, because keeping them in the fridge (so they won’t melt, of course) when I have a large amount of them, like a bagful leftover from Halloween, makes it very hard to break them off properly.

Still, position two is more of a if-you-can’t-get-them-to-break option- and therefore clearly not the correct way to eat them.

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Tess Jones
Twitter:
November 9, 2010 at 2:46 am

Position One. I got the heebie-jeebies when I read Position Two. That is just wrong.

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Sophie@Fabrications November 9, 2010 at 4:51 am

One, definitely one.

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christy November 9, 2010 at 5:43 am

Position one, with a caveat: nibble off the chocolate from the perimeter of each individual piece. Yes, it comes off easy. THEN, devour each stick in one bite. hehehe.

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CSY November 9, 2010 at 11:09 am

THIS is the method I use…but instead of one bite – I nubble the choclatey, wafery goodness bite by bite…

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Sheila
Twitter:
November 9, 2010 at 8:14 pm

We must be related….I eat the chocolate off each of the sides and then eat each layer, one at a time.

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sha November 10, 2010 at 4:03 pm

ditto!

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JJ April 24, 2011 at 8:27 am

so good to know I’m not the only one who eats all the edges off first – and sometimes try to separate each wafer as well…hubby looks at me like I am crazy.

Donna November 9, 2010 at 6:58 am

This is a trick question, right? Because of course you wouldn’t eat a KitKat bar if there were Snickers bars to be had (frozen, naturally). But – if you’re stuck on a desert island with nothing but KitKat, or if you’re down to just KitKats at the bottom of the Halloween bag, then you’d need to break off the pieces and eat them individually. Obviously. Geez, could you give us a harder question next time?

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From Belgium November 9, 2010 at 7:53 am

Savour!Each!Precious!Bite!

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Jodi November 9, 2010 at 8:38 am

Individually – no biting across multiple bars!

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Prima Mama November 9, 2010 at 8:39 am

Position one, obviously. If Kit Kats were meant to be eaten whole, they wouldn’t be designed to come apart in the first place!

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mel
Twitter:
November 9, 2010 at 8:43 am

I usually break it into 2 sections of 2. Eat 1 section and then split the other two and bite off the top chocolate and wafer (how the hell do you spell that?) on the other 2 and then eat the bottom.

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MommyGeekology
Twitter:
November 9, 2010 at 9:12 am

That is the most complicated Kit Kat ritual ever. I must see this in person.

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SaRaH November 9, 2010 at 8:49 am

Position One is the correct position. Only an uncouth monster would eat any other way.

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Kate Coveny Hood
Twitter:
November 9, 2010 at 8:56 am

Kit Kats must be eaten in sections of course. If they weren’t meant to be broken into pieces then they would be one solid wafer right? Of course if you feel the need to be a rebel about something, this is a safe little niche.

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Whitney
Twitter:
November 9, 2010 at 9:04 am

Why else do they make them into sections? Obviously Position One is the correct choice!

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MommyGeekology
Twitter:
November 9, 2010 at 9:11 am

Who bites all four pieces at once?! They make it in four pieces for a REASON.

Imbeciles!

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Carabee November 9, 2010 at 9:12 am

The very talk of eating across the rows gives me anxiety. Must be eaten in sections. Period.

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sdl November 9, 2010 at 9:22 am

It’s funny how shocking and wrong Position 2 seems. I would *never* eat one that way. It would be like biting right into an Oreo.

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Becky November 9, 2010 at 9:28 am

Position 1 is correct. I accidentally ate a (mini) Kit Kat the WRONG way the other day (I was not paying close enough attention, apparently), and I’m still a bit traumatized by my own behavior.

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Renee November 9, 2010 at 9:35 am

Totally position 1. Insane people – you must learn how to eat Kit Kats!

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Finn
Twitter:
November 9, 2010 at 9:49 am

I can’t even believe this is in dispute. The answer is one. Duh.

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barbara sigelbaum
Twitter:
November 9, 2010 at 10:00 am

South Beach diet allows kit kat bars. sign me up.

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monica November 9, 2010 at 10:03 am

Of course you eat them individually. Half of the experience is licking the melty chocolate off your fingers after you have eaten the individual stick!

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Wendy November 9, 2010 at 10:18 am

Um yeah DUH Obviously Position 1! Nowhere in the below lyrics does it say “bite the four pieces of the Kit Kat Bar”! Come on people they GIVE you the instructions!
Gimme a break, gimme a break
Break me off of that piece of Kit Kat Bar
Chocolately taste is gonna make my day
Everywhere we go we hear the people say
Gimme a break, Gimme a break,
Break me off of that piece of, gotta have a piece of, break me off of that piece of
KIT KAT BAR!

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Roxanne November 9, 2010 at 10:59 am

I break them off and eat them individually. But then I eat the top of the kit kat off first (the part with the name) and then devour the rest.

What’s the point of having four pieces if you eat them all at once? Savor the kit!

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magpie November 9, 2010 at 11:00 am

#2 is all wrong. but twix are better.

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MarathonMom November 9, 2010 at 11:14 am

My grandmother would die and snub you all, #2.

Back in the day, before the Oreo was mainstream, they had a version called Hydrox. Which is what she continued to call the Oreo of my youth. We were forbidden from taking those apart, so, the same goes for the ‘kat.

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Helena
Twitter:
November 9, 2010 at 11:19 am

How is this even a question?? The song says “break me off a piece of that kit kat bar” for a reason.

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Lu
Twitter:
November 9, 2010 at 11:30 am

There is a reason there are four individualish bars. Don’t tempt fate people! Eat it the right way. Position one all the way.

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annie November 9, 2010 at 11:55 am

Ummm….why don’t you have a “stuff the whole thing in your face” option? You know, for those losers who might want to do it that way. Not me of course.

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pam November 9, 2010 at 12:18 pm

Of course position one! And if you’re feeling especially anal you bite the layers individually too. Chocolate, wafer, chocolate, wafer, rinse, repeat.

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Awesome dude November 9, 2010 at 12:44 pm

The key word is respect.

Good manners are shown when observe and respect the texture and the shape of your food.

Pos ## 1, hands down.

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Jos November 9, 2010 at 12:56 pm

#1, obv. unless you’re about to be caught by your 4 yr old who thinks all the halloween candy is gone. in that case, snarf the whole thing as quickly as you can. this might entail biting across the bars, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

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Kimberly November 9, 2010 at 1:15 pm

They put sections in it for humans. Eat it without breaking the sections apart if you are an animal.

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joeinvegas November 9, 2010 at 1:29 pm

That would provide a follow up question: do you share the bars or eat them all yourself? (well, we all know the answer: get your own damn candy bar)

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Lady Jennie November 9, 2010 at 1:36 pm

I studiously avoid eating kitkats because it’s not on any phase of the Dukan diet (except for the third and fourth phase) and … why eat kitkats when you can eat La Maison du Chocolat?

Just teasing. But once I gave my chocolate-spoilt french kids my favorite: reeses peanut butter cups and my son not only spit it out, but started wiping the taste off his tongue with his hand, ha ha

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Jodi F. November 9, 2010 at 1:42 pm

I’m very methodical with a Kit Kat. Break off a stick. Nibble the chocolate from around the edges. Pull apart the wafers. Eat that creamy-dry stuff between wafers. Then eat each wafer separately.

Yeah, it takes a while.

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Marinka November 9, 2010 at 2:04 pm

I am very worried that there is a minority of gluttons who eat the whole KitKat bar in two bites, without breaking it apart, who are now forced to live with shame and suffer in silence.

I don’t want people to think that such shaming and suffering in silence was my intent. (I mean, it WAS my intent, but I definitely don’t want people thinking that!)

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chrystal November 22, 2010 at 1:51 pm

I just asked my husband which way he eats them, and I was afraid I knew what his answer would be. I will spare you from the truth, but I”m currently ashamed of being married to such a monster.
But to give you an idea of his answer, I’ll tell you how I eat them.
Individually, chocolate first, then wafer by wafer……yum.
He’s also apparently the same kind of animal who just bites into a reese’s cup instead of nibbling the chocolatey outer goodness off first. Clearly, I should have allowed for more than 8 years of dating to go by before I married such a person. Yikes.

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Col March 27, 2011 at 12:37 pm

Grounds for divorce.

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Peajaye
Twitter:
November 9, 2010 at 2:05 pm

Today’s post, brought to you by the kind people of Nestles.
(Who needs Google ads when you can do your own product placement? Brava, Marinka!)

Reply

Issa
Twitter:
November 9, 2010 at 2:30 pm

On this one, I conquer with postilion two.

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CoftheU November 9, 2010 at 2:44 pm

Well, if I still ate them, I would eat them like the anonymous person who holds position #1, which is the way I USED to eat them. I do NOT eat them anymore because of the time I was eating one at work. I was busily working away and had it in its wrapper on my lap. I had eaten 3.5 of the 4 quadrants when I stopped snarfing long enough to actually look at what I was eating. Maggots were crawling out of the half piece that was left. I had eaten all the rest of them. I crumpled the tiny bit of candy and few remaining maggots up in the wrapper and threw it away while chugging a bunch of Pepsi and trying to remain calm. I told myself that people in Africa, and in a whole bunch of other places I never want to go, eat bugs all the time. It’s no big deal. It’s no big deal. It’s no big deal.

It worked. I went back to typa-typa-typing forcing myself to not think about it. But then something caught my eye. It was a lone, white maggot wiggling around on my black-skirt-clad lap wondering where all his brothers and sisters were. I stared at him flipping his maggoty tail back and forth, back and forth, trying to recite my No Big Deal mantra. But no dice. I bolted for the bathroom and barfed up the whole gang.

True story. And one that should help that South Beach diet along nicely!

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reiven November 10, 2010 at 11:49 am

thanks, you totally helped me with my diet today! 🙂

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Slow Panic
Twitter:
November 9, 2010 at 5:26 pm

break them off, one stick at a time and eat them.

now i need a kit kat.

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Noelle November 9, 2010 at 6:05 pm

Option two??? Where do you meet these barbarians?!

Clearly option 1 is the ONLY way to eat Kit Kats. Keeping in mind, of course, that you must first snap it in half, then in half again.

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The Real Soccer Mom November 9, 2010 at 10:33 pm

Absolutely right, Noelle. You must break it half first. Symmetry rules.

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Bostulla November 9, 2010 at 6:31 pm

Why would you come at it like it was a pan flute.
Break it off baby! Position #1

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Scary Mommy
Twitter:
November 9, 2010 at 8:09 pm

Who on earth does #2? And now I’m fucking starving. Thanks.

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Aly November 9, 2010 at 10:19 pm

The design of the bar is incontrovertible proof–position #1 without doubt! Of course, they came out with Kit Kat Chunky for you sad, strange #2 people who must shove the whole thing in your mouth.

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Backpacking Dad November 9, 2010 at 10:37 pm

Hitler and Stalin bite across. In Hell.

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Shannon November 10, 2010 at 5:49 am

Neither! I break off TWO pieces and eat across that section, and then eat the second session in the same manner. Semi-civilized, I guess?

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JK November 10, 2010 at 8:24 am

Can I just tell you how much I love your presentation of arguments? The ONLY way to properly eat a Kit Kat is to savor each bite, one quadrant at a time.

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elizabeth November 10, 2010 at 10:05 am

The best way to eat a kit-kat bar is to take 2 kit-kat bars and put 2 reese’s peanut butter cups on top of one of the kit-kat bars, then the 2nd kit-kat bar goes on top of the reese’s peanut butter cups sandwich style, then you take a big bite of your kit-kat/reese’s peanut butter cup sandwich. Seriously. It’s delicious. No breaking just biting.

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dusty earth mother November 10, 2010 at 5:26 pm

Biting across four rows is sacrilege. Plain and simple.

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Col March 27, 2011 at 12:37 pm

I won’t sleep tonight thinking of those who eat it as described in position 2. Clearly the answer is position 1, but first nibbling off edges of chocolate and then pulling the wafers apart.

Reply

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