I’m Right, You’re Wrong: Front or Back

by Marinka on June 14, 2011

I’m Right, You’re Wrong is back!

Disagreement: So let’s say you’re at the theater or at the movies and you need to get past the people that are already seated. Do you pass them with you butt facing them or do you face them while you’re passing them?

Disagreers: Marinka and Husbandrinka

Position One: You have to face the people while you’re passing them. It is polite to make eye contact and not shove your ass in their face.

Position Two: Why is it more polite to shove your crotch in their face? And you’re just passing them to get to your seat, why do you have to lock eyes?

Also one of us thinks that the person sitting should stand up while another person is passing. Which of course would make eye contact easier.

What do you think? Other than that this is one of the reasons that it makes more sense to stay at home and watch TV, I mean.

__________________________
I’m at The Mouthy Housewives today, talking about one of my greatest kid birthday party pet peeves. Besides all the kids.

One year ago ...

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{ 47 comments… read them below or add one }

Anthony from CharismaticKid
Twitter:
June 14, 2011 at 12:59 am

You really think about this stuff? GOURSH.

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Zina June 14, 2011 at 1:39 am

I have experimented with both positions (which is one of the most unintentionally racy things I have said on the internet). Theoretically I would prefer to face the person, but in fact . . . how shall I say? My derriere pushes against the row of seats ahead and can tip me forward, causing me to lose balance. The seats also allow less room for my knees to bend if I face backward, further complicating things.

So I face forward, since I am a bit less wobbly that way and less likely to puncture somoene’s foot with one of my heels. I do like it if they stand up so they don’t have to have my behind in their face.

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Rachael
Twitter:
June 14, 2011 at 2:03 am

Having not been to the movies in a couple of years my etiquette might be a bit rusty but I think people should stand to let you pass. Are you supposed to give them a hug as you lock eyes? This seems weird to me. It seems like the already seated person could/would lean back a bit if you faced away from them since I can’t imagine that many enjoy a tush right in their nose. I’m a big fan of excuse me and thank you if the person moves otherwise a nice excuse YOU always works.

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Tracie
Twitter:
June 14, 2011 at 2:04 am

I have tried it both ways (staying home and watching Real Housewives is definitely better) but I think I usually toward them. I don’t make eye contact though, that is weird. I would prefer that they stay seated…to minimize contact.

When I asked my husband he said definitely face AWAY, because you don’t want your business in their face.

Maybe it is a male/female thing?

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Stasha
Twitter:
June 14, 2011 at 3:29 am

My grandfather thought me to always face the back of the theatre. That means people I am passing too. Excuse me as you approach, eye contact and a thank you as you pass. Or at least a smile. An the whole row should stand up as they see a person entering the row.
If everybody was to follow this rule nobody would touch anybody. Solved.

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Polish Mama on the Prairie
Twitter:
June 14, 2011 at 12:37 pm

You stole the words out of my mouth! lol

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HerMelness Speaks June 14, 2011 at 5:28 am

I find the ‘accidental’ spilling of hot coffee usually sorts out all seating arrangements organically.

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Sophie@Fabrications June 14, 2011 at 5:49 am

I just alternate. It’s easier, and everybody gets a share of my beautiful sides 😀

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tracy
Twitter:
June 14, 2011 at 7:21 am

I say always take an aisle seat and if someone needs to get past you – it is best to stand as to not get an ass in your face.

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From Belgium June 14, 2011 at 7:36 am

Is juming over the people with a pole an option?

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From Belgium June 14, 2011 at 7:37 am

Jumping I meant jumping (damnit!)

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Lex June 14, 2011 at 7:50 am

I vote butt-in-the-face. You don’t need to make eye contact – you’re getting to your seat, not starting a friendship. Also, it’s easier to walk that way. With my crotch facing the patron, I have to do a weird shuffle and my ass bumps the seat back behind me, almost knocking me forward into the unfortunate patron’s lap.

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dusty earth mother June 14, 2011 at 7:58 am

I go for sideways. Yes, it’s ridiculously uncomfortable and tight, but it’s a better option than goodies or booty.

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eevie June 14, 2011 at 8:36 am

With butt towards the person, pretending like you’re not even there. I think if you lock eyes, you’re basically acknowledging that you are in a very awkward position with a stranger.

Also, getting up is weird with timing, just scootch your legs to the side and think small.

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A Mommy in the City
Twitter:
June 14, 2011 at 8:49 am

I think I do both ways. I have really thought about this and I don’t think I have picked one way as the “right” way. Guess that doesn’t help the argument does it?

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Becky
Twitter:
June 14, 2011 at 8:51 am

Crotch or butt? I wish all my decisions were this complicated.

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Laura June 14, 2011 at 9:02 am

This is something that I have thought about, too! I say face them. Not necessarily make eye contact, but no butt in the face. Granted, they are still going to be eye level with your privates, but I’d rather face them with my flat front side than my backside that extends out toward them and I can’t see how close my butt is to them. I actually try to do more of a sideways move with extending my leg forward and shimmying by without a full frontal toward them.

Great question!

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awesome dude June 14, 2011 at 9:20 am

As you know I was born about 4 blocks from Mariinsky Theater; and going there was one of the chores I had to do as child.

Exopsing your back to the innocent theater goers was a sign of a very poor manners, low upbringing; compatible with avoiding eye contact with the person you are speaking to.

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Stasha
Twitter:
June 19, 2011 at 12:32 am

Hear hear.

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awesome dude June 14, 2011 at 9:23 am

But, this may not work with ass concious/obsessed people.

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Loukia June 14, 2011 at 9:30 am

I think it depends on what I’m wearing that given day and if I’m having a nice ass day or not. 😉

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Mira June 14, 2011 at 10:07 am

There is simply no way to answer this question without extreme overshare. So, okay. For me personally, my butt is oh so much more obtrusive than I want it to be. My crotch, meanwhile, is nicely tucked in where it belongs, minding its own business. I’m going with Position 1. I’m going I can see, though, for guys, that standing in such close quarters facing people who are sitting would bring to mind, um, pleasurable personal experiences. So maybe position 2 would be less awkward for them. At any rate, this won’t be a problem for me. After responding to this post, I’m never, ever going to the movies again.

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the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
June 14, 2011 at 10:29 am

The person sitting should stand up so you can actually get by. And the person passing should not face them. No one wants eye contact. I’d rather look at someone’s ass any day.

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Halala Mama
Twitter:
June 14, 2011 at 10:54 am

Well…if you face them, not only do you shove your “business” in their face, you bump the row in front of you with your butt as you go down the aisle…*bump*bump*bump and they didn’t even know you were coming…two negatives. It’s okay to do it that way if you are into that kind of thrill.

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b a seagull
Twitter:
June 14, 2011 at 11:14 am

If someone stands, even a slouch will do, a smile and thank you. If not, an excuse me and were you raised in a barn look on my face. Assuming that they are looking. Which they probably aren’t. It makes me feel better, in a huffy, impotent sort of way.

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Alison@Mama Wants This
Twitter:
June 14, 2011 at 11:15 am

I always try sideways, with ass facing toward offending person sitting-who-is-making-no-effort-to-make-room.

Alternatively, I sit on the aisle.

And if I’m seated, I always pull my legs in and make myself real small. Or I stand. Depending on how lazy I feel. And I would prefer someone’s back to having them look down on me, when they’re passing through.

No wonder I haven’t been to the movies in years.

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Megan June 14, 2011 at 11:24 am

This is going to be like when someone asks you how you say a certain word, like “water” and suddenly you have no idea how to pronounce the word properly.

I try to avoid this scenario at all costs because I live in a place where people will not budge and let you trip over their feet and then blame you. But I think I go in face to face. Which means my butt probably is hitting other people in the back of the head. Which is so much better, I guess.

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christy June 14, 2011 at 11:53 am

You should get to the theater early and sit on the end of the aisle, then when people want to pass you, stand up and hope they show you ass instead of face. 🙂

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kiki
Twitter:
June 14, 2011 at 11:55 am

i think it is based on personal preferences and how close one wants to get to another person. i’m big on personal space so i prefer a sideways shuffle to my seat. most people do not get up and i always do so for others. if i face a person my ass hits/rubs up against the person sitting in the next row and if my back is to that person, he/she has to look at my ass and i would think that would make them uncomfortable. i think it’s a lose lose either way, therefore, sideways is my way. take care, Marinka.

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melanie
Twitter:
June 14, 2011 at 11:58 am

actually, i happened to have been reading clinton kelly’s book about being freakin’ fabulous and he says you definitely put your bottom in their face, instead of your crotch.

of course, if they stood, they wouldn’t get your derriere in their face after all, and it is less awkward than being nose to nose with a perfect stranger.

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Peajaye
Twitter:
June 14, 2011 at 12:11 pm

I think it’s a lot like going to a gay club, so it depends. What’s the cute/creepy ratio? Do you want to make eye-contact with a stranger you have to spend the next two hours in the dark with? Do you prefer someone’s face in your crotch or in your butt? Each situation is different.

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pam June 14, 2011 at 1:27 pm

I think you should face them but never eye contact, NO.

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Issa
Twitter:
June 14, 2011 at 1:37 pm

I face them. I don’t think a butt to the face is polite. Also then I can say excuse me to a person. You know, the one whose feet I’m likely stepping on.

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Becky Mochaface June 14, 2011 at 2:26 pm

I read somewhere once that women in general passed people with their backs facing the people being passed while men did it facing them. There never was an explanation further than that.

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Bill
Twitter:
June 14, 2011 at 2:28 pm

Proper etiquette dictates that both people should be standing while being passed. Reason being that the goal is to make the encounter as unlike kinky sex as possible, which suggests missionary position. If you shove ass in face – dirty. if you shove crotch in face – dirty. if you shove ass in crotch of standing person, dirty. if you shove crotch in crotch of standing person…slightly dirty, but not as bad.

but if they’re seated, may as well shove ass in face. teach’em a lesson.

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Amy ~ Eat. Live. Laugh. Shop.
Twitter:
June 14, 2011 at 2:38 pm

I try to never get up during movie. I am annoyed by people in generally, but especially by large people who make no attempt to provide enough room for me to pass. If I were to pass, however, I’d give them a nice ass shot. Better than a crotch shot, in my humble opinion.

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Lady Jennie June 14, 2011 at 2:57 pm

I think men would prefer to face away because they actually have something in their crotch, whereas women don’t.
… unless I need to attend your son’s human sexuality class.

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Tonya
Twitter:
June 14, 2011 at 9:19 pm

I give em’ my badonkadonk. But then I spend the whole time concentrating on NOT trying to pass gas in their faces as I make my way to my seat. It’s no wonder I don’t get out more.

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MommyTime
Twitter:
June 14, 2011 at 10:37 pm

It feels to me like bad manners to pass them with my behind in their faces. It’s bad enough that I’m probably stepping on their toes/purses/jackets/popcorn. The least I can do is give them an apologetic look. Also, it feels to me like bad manners if they don’t stand up, or at the very least, turn their knees completely sideways so that I have room to pass.

Really, though, this is an even bigger issue on an airplane, where the passing lane (if, say, you’re stuck in the window seat and desperately need to use the loo) is approximately 1/4″ wide. Even facing a person, looking apologetic, and thanking them can’t make up for the fact that you have basically molested them with your knees/breasts/thighs/nose/anything that sticks out further than your back. And if you aren’t Flat Stanley, that’s pretty much everything. The only thing that makes them not call security is that their seats don’t fold up like a theater seat, so they can’t stand up to let you pass, so they’ve also molested you. It’s so mutually awkward that we all just pretend it never happened.

Would whomever took the “butt to theater patron” position also choose “butt to airline seat mate”? Or would that person prefer face?

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KJ June 14, 2011 at 10:44 pm

I think its like being on an elevator. It’s just awkward if you face all the other people in the car.

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bleu June 14, 2011 at 11:29 pm

I was just at the movies this past weekend, tiny cramped theater. I had to use the bathroom before the show started. I gave the person notice by saying ‘excuse me, I need to go out’. The man got up so I ended up facing him. I think it just depends on the situation and what the other person does. Too funny though.

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Jonathan June 15, 2011 at 12:28 am

I think it’s faster if you are facing away from the person, cause if you are facing them while trying to maneuver through, it seems like your body would have less room to contort to move more quickly and freely, especially if they don’t stand. Then it seems like you have more of a chance of stepping on them or losing your balance and ending up in their lap. Plus if you don’t face them, you don’t have to remember that it ever happened at all.

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elizabeth June 15, 2011 at 1:19 pm

I never ever ever sit anywhere but right on the aisle. Ever. I always have to pee at least once during a movie, which is why I haven’t been to the movies since last summer, preferring to wait until they come out on dvd so I can just press pause and go to the bathroom.

I think I’d prefer the crotch in my face over the ass, though.

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Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him
Twitter:
June 15, 2011 at 11:29 pm

NO! It’s an ASS-FACE situation NOT a crotch-face situation. You must face your ass to their face because if you fall, you land sitting in their lap, which is awkward but acceptable when compared to falling on to someone and locking lips, which always happens in the movies when people fall into each other. Unless it’s Eric Bana. Then maybe I’d go crotch-to-face.

I’m so gross.

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Marta
Twitter:
June 17, 2011 at 5:10 pm

I’ve never thought about it, but I definitely do ass in the face. I will think of this now as I pass people to my coveted support of directly in the center.

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imperfectmomma
Twitter:
February 21, 2012 at 9:50 am

Oh holy crap! My husband and I just had this conversation! I usually just choose to go the way there is less people and show them huge toosh. Less embarassing to me.

Just found your blog via The Empress. Love it!

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Marcos February 19, 2015 at 6:20 am

if they get up and they are polite, as I am, I face them and thank them. If they are rude and to bothered to stand up they get my backside. Or sometimes if they just slide their knees to the side, I accidently step on their feet.

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