It’s time, once again, for I’m Right, You’re Wrong.
A few weeks ago, my sister Mouthy Housewife Wendi tackled the issue of what to do when your friend refers to menstruation as “being on my period.” Some sick shit, right? Well, no sooner did that happen than my friend and homosexual-American Peajaye and I almost came to blows over the term.
Disagreement: Is saying “on my/your/her period” an acceptable expression or should whoever utters those words be punished to the fullest extent of the law?
Disageers: Marinka and Peajaye.
Position One: Don’t say that, ever. It sounds gross, like you’re straddling a period or something. Blech.
Position Two: It’s far superior to say, “on your period” than “having your period”. When you’re “on” something – other than drugs – you’re in the position of power; you’re assuming control. You’re on top. Big (Wo)Man on Campus. On top of the world! I’m on it, boss! You’re on to someone. It’s on, baby! The cherry on top! You’re on board. etc. Even if you’re on the rag, it’s you that’s on top of the rag, not the other way around.
When you’re “having” something, it implies negativity or being subjective; out of control. You’re having a breakdown. You’re having a shit-fit. You’re having a baby (to give to your husband, maybe? and I prefer You’re pregnant or With child or Put on a few pounds in front, no I’m not having a child, how dare you!) Having to go to the dentist. Having sex is good, but Getting it on is better. Even when You’re having a party, there’s work involved.