IRL Friends

by Marinka on January 13, 2010

I  got an email the other day from my NYC BFF Robin:

Hey, how do I get out of going to a destination wedding without seeming cheap or unfriendly?  I can’t deal. Don’t use this on your blog.

I assumed that she didn’t want me to use this on my blog because she wanted to save the people who read it from Death-By-Boredom, so I really appreciated her support.

See, recently I told Robin about my blog.  I mean, I told her about it when I started it, over a year ago, but she just got around to asking me for a link.  In her defense, she’s been really busy.   Irrigating the desert and ironing out the details of the Middle East peace treaty.  So the other night at dinner, I gave it to her and when I got home, I had this comment, pending my approval.



What up with the comment, Robz, I emailed her. (I’m trying to use younger lingo. What do you think?)

She told me that she may have typed it under the influence of our dinner cocktail. But I get it! HusbanDRINKa. Like drinking.

Naturally, I rejected the comment, so that it never saw the light of day. Because unlike other bloggers who get to block trolls leaving nasty comments about their parenting skills, I get to block my friends who leave comments that are from bizzarro-world.

This isn’t my first experience with it either. The Lady Ashfield (Best Gay Friend’s John friend, but not friend, wink, wink, although why, I can’t figure out. So handsome.) went through a comment leaving phase that, for reasons that are not entirely clear to me, made references to my labia. Now I’m pretty open minded, but let’s keep our comments above the belt, ok? Who wants to read that stuff? So, I had to block him, too.

The only people that leave me normal comments are my friends P.K. and Jon and Susan. Susan from Chicago. My BFF Susan from NYC just reads in silence. Which, among my friends, apparently, is golden.
In my new tradition of stealing post ideas from Other Bloggers, I am honoring Bossy and presenting: A year ago today, I was blogging about champagne.

Oh, good lord. I was just over at Pauline’s blog and apparently today is blog reader delurking day. To celebrate it, Pauline has some flasher on her site. So if you’re a lurker, please delurk. Apparently, that means that you’re supposed to flash me, but I’ll settle for a “hi” and maybe a top ten list of why you love this blog.

One year ago ...

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{ 52 comments… read them below or add one }

Susan (woo222)
January 13, 2010 at 8:00 pm

I don’t tell friends about my blog because then I can’t write about the funny things they do. 😉 Never thought of husbandrinka as sounding alcoholic, but it made me laugh. ~Susan


Swistle January 13, 2010 at 8:03 pm

My friends are all, “Oh hi Swistle, remember when we were growing up in Your Town of Birth and your Grandparents Mother’s Maiden Name told me your social security number was _____?”


Marinka January 13, 2010 at 8:30 pm

Jesus, Swistle! Never give your friends your personal deets. What are you, crazy? (Don’t answer that. Personal).


marathonmom January 13, 2010 at 8:27 pm

It totally sounds like Robin is projecting on your husband. I know.
Being the runner I am, and reading your blog, I always thought that husbandrinka was a runner, because runners, we have to stay hydrated. I’d keep an eye on her though, she might be writing a tell-all book about your family – like a Lifetime movie.

Hang in there-


Marinka January 13, 2010 at 8:32 pm

And I thought you were MarathonMom due to marathon/binge drinking sessions. Whew, right?


January 13, 2010 at 9:05 pm

I tried to keep my a secret. Then I told friends. None of the follow me. Or read me. But it doesn’t make me feel bad because they just don’t read or follow anyone. They are all retarded that way. Plus I get to slam them. Muuuwwwaahhhaaahh


January 13, 2010 at 9:39 pm

I am quite fine with my blog friends reading my blog only. I don’t need my IRL friends to have shit to throw in my face.


Masala Chica
January 13, 2010 at 9:46 pm

omg that’s hysterical. at least your irl friends a) read your blog and b) think to leave comments. mine can’t be bothered. but that makes sense because they have to deal with the pain in the butt me all the time, why have to come over to a website to read me complaining and whatnot? they get that firsthand anyway.

don’t use this in your blog. priceless.


anna see January 13, 2010 at 10:08 pm

my 2 closest neighborhood friends think having a blog is the weirdest thing ever. they will not read it. fine. unfortunately i told a few irl people about it in the beginning and it bit me in the butt big-time, so now i tell no one.


Sophie, Inzaburbs January 13, 2010 at 11:03 pm

So, you never answered the question – how do you get out of a destination wedding without seeming cheap or unfriendly?


Marinka January 14, 2010 at 8:15 pm

I told Robin just to open her mouth and start talking. The lies would flow naturally!


Jen January 13, 2010 at 11:32 pm

Bossy does the “one year ago today” thing? Damn. I thought I came up with that. Also, I’m pretty sure I did come up with it.


Marinka January 14, 2010 at 8:18 pm

Obviously Bossy stole the idea from you. Maybe her name should be Stealy.


January 14, 2010 at 12:53 am

bizzarro-world… haha, haven’t heard that one in awhile.

so really- how do you get out of that situation? personally, I don’t see a problem with saying it’s ‘not in your budget’. I don’t think that sounds cheap. I think people who do destination weddings expect a lot from their guests. Maybe say she doesn’t have enough vacation time this year?

annnnd I think I’m delurking here. so, Hi!


Jonathan January 14, 2010 at 1:11 am

I am honored to be considered among the normal! I am happy that I have always suppressed my labia-related thoughts.


expateek January 14, 2010 at 8:15 am

Oh great, I come over to visit and today’s delurking day??? Great. Just when I thought I was safe. Tricky to lure me over via Twitter.


Crys January 14, 2010 at 8:31 am

I comment every now and then – does that still make me a lurker? I’m NOT flashing anyone…its too damn cold here…in FLORIDA! So I’ll just say hi and continue my lurking.


Marinka January 14, 2010 at 8:19 pm

Hmm. Maybe you’re a partial lurker. So only partial flashing.


christy January 14, 2010 at 9:02 am

I thought comments on your blog automatically appeared – I didn’t realize they were moderated!

Also, I have a couple of IRL friends who read my blog – but they blog too. My IRL friends who don’t blog think it’s totally weird.


I'm Nate's Mom January 14, 2010 at 9:27 am

1. You make me feel better about my own life.
2. Mama
3. Adventures with Nicki
4. I can learn some math to help my kids
5. New crockpot recipes
6. Parenting advice
7. Travel tips
8. The sage wisdom of Husbandrinka
9. You make me laugh
10. Best commenters ever

I think people have destination weddings b/c they don’t want anyone to come. Who’s feeling guilty now?


Marinka January 14, 2010 at 8:16 pm

This the best list ever and you are my favorite reader. cc: Everyone else.


deb williams January 14, 2010 at 9:49 am

excellent effort, but if you really wanted to sound cool, hip and young, instead of:

What up with the comment Robz, you would have written:

What up wit da comment Robz.

yes, the difference is subtle to the elder eye, but my 13 yo assures me I am correct. Fo shiz.


Marinka January 14, 2010 at 8:17 pm

I’m down with that!


Rachel January 14, 2010 at 9:51 am

My IRL only admit to reading my blog if pressured. And those I haven’t seen for awhile sometimes admit it too.

My parents have yet to admit to reading it.

Like it’s my diary or something.


January 14, 2010 at 10:06 am

i’m delurking! i don’t like lists, though, so why don’t i just tell you that i read your blog because you’re so funny!


MsDolfinn January 14, 2010 at 10:45 am

I made one comment a while ago…other than that I will admit that I am a lurker. You make me laugh thus I come back.


Jayme January 14, 2010 at 11:23 am

I agree with @I’m Nate’s Mom. I also feel that people who have destination weddings don’t really want anyone to come. I actually had friends that got married in St. Lucia because the didn’t want anyone to come, but they ended up having another wedding at a church later to please the bride’s mom. Heck most people can’t afford to pay their bills yet go to a destination wedding!

Also, I just like your blog. I am new to the blogosphere and I like seeing what other moms write about. I am so not even interesting though, yet!

Oh and by the way, no one that I know in real like knows about my blog or where to find it!! I prefer other bloggers reading my blog so that I can have a little anonymity. Once I become more comfortable with it I will let others now….maybe!


January 14, 2010 at 11:26 am

no comment.
(this is my attempt to get onto your “normal” list…)
(you homophobic, labia-hating, unfit parent, you.)


Schill January 14, 2010 at 11:44 am

I read your blog b/c you’re funny, witty and interesting. Following the exploits of your family is my version of watching a soap opera…well without the “long lost twin returning to steal your husband and commit you to an insane asylum” aspect. I think 🙂



AmandaGibson January 14, 2010 at 1:00 pm

Dammit! I can’t get my naked flasher picture to upload into my comment! And to think that I went to all that time and effort – taking nude flasher pictures of myself in that public restoom (at my work).

I was really wanting to do this whole “delurker” thing with a bang! Guess you’ll just have to settle for this comment in place of my picture. Trust me, it’s probably better for everyone.


January 14, 2010 at 1:13 pm

Delurking, hm? This sounds like someone’s grand scheme to expand their circle of followers, if you ask me.
At least that’s my intent!
Here from smartassmom. I think I might have to stick around for a while.


SoccerMom January 14, 2010 at 1:25 pm

I guess I don’t care what people comment, freedom of speech/opinion. Doesn’t mean I will take their advice. Then again I have never had anyone say anything that truly offended me. So I don’t “preview” anyones comments before they are posted.


Marinka January 14, 2010 at 1:28 pm

For me it’s less an issue of being offensive and more one of spam. (Well, spam and friends).

The way the comments moderation is set up means that the first time that someone comments, I have to “approve” them, but all subsequent comments are automatically approved.


January 14, 2010 at 1:51 pm

Wait, you want us to flash you? What about keeping the comments above the belt?


Kate January 14, 2010 at 2:15 pm

Hi! I’m a lurker on both yours and Classy Chaos! Love your posts, they make me laugh, regularly!


Kat January 14, 2010 at 2:46 pm

Love you blog! I’ve been reading it for a while & am officially delurking.


elle kasey
January 14, 2010 at 3:10 pm

If it makes you feel any better, I’m pretty sure this recent comment on my blog came from my father:

Anonymous said…
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

At least he didn’t bring my labia into it.


elenka January 14, 2010 at 4:53 pm

I love your blogrinka because it’s good…..and funny….and real.
And that’s all I have to say from a semi lurker. (I have left comments before.)
Don’t stop now.


Mary January 14, 2010 at 5:34 pm

Ok, since you would rather I delurk than depants, I am officially announcing my presence.


Great, now my approaching-middle-aged, post-two-babies, oh-God-I-don’t-fit-in-my-mom-jeans-anymore-but-at-least-I-won’t-drown-no-matter-how-many-margaritas-I-drink body will never be preserved online for the benefit of future generations. Oh well, your loss!!


Mary January 14, 2010 at 6:09 pm

Delurking! I read your blog everyday because:
1. my boss works in another city so I can get away with it
2. you always make me laugh
3. Mama and Papa
4. your Russian accent when channeling Mama and Papa
5. you really make me laugh
6. especially your Mama and Papa posts, did I mention that?
7. Love the SSWhiner and the Mouthy Housewives too
8. I think you promised me that you were working on a formula for no-calorie margaritas.
9. You get to steal my idea for #8, and you will be rich!
10. And I will be happy, and skinny!


January 14, 2010 at 7:23 pm

Totally delurking here. I have you in Google Reader because you make me laugh. And lord knows I need to laugh. Get your husband to AA STAT! – he obviously has a DRINKing problem… 😉


Quart January 14, 2010 at 8:14 pm



JennO January 14, 2010 at 8:43 pm

Hi! I’m doing a flash by…I thought it was HubanDRINKa too, but I thought it was because he made you drink….that’s getting me rejected too, isn’t it?


Jennifer, Playgroups are no place for children
January 14, 2010 at 8:53 pm

Great. Yo put the blurb in at the end about delurking. Now I have to comment or I’ll look like a punk-ass labia. Labia.

10 things I love this blog.
1. I’m interested in NYC. Never been there. Scared to death to ever go. I live vicariously thru you.
2. I enjoy your stories.
3. I really enjoy your stories about your parents.
4. You make me laugh.
7. I can use the word labia if I want to in a comment.
10. I can’t list 10 things because I don’t have adequate math vocabulary.


Rosie January 14, 2010 at 9:28 pm

Actually, for the longest time I thought that it was husband-drink-a as well and I thought your name really was Marinka (I actually work with a Kazakstani lady named Marinka who teaches Russian at my University, so I think I can be forgiven for that one…) My husband finally told me that was ridiculous, so I switched.


Kate Coveny Hood
January 14, 2010 at 11:04 pm

One of my New Years resolutions (aka – momentary whims) is to be better about commenting. I got into the habit of just reading and not commenting unless it was a blogger who comments a lot om my site (feel like I kind of owe them). So I’m having no problem with delurking today.

And I always thought “Husbandrinka” was a little tongue in check, as it sounds like Husband Drinka. Either way – it has a ring to it. Great alias.


January 15, 2010 at 1:06 am

Happy DeLurker day! I would totally flash you, but no one needs to see that. I’ll save your eyes.


Ksenia January 15, 2010 at 3:46 am

I’ve been reading your blog for ages now — hey, I’m 20, so over a year is a big deal to me (not that I’m trying to point out the fact that I’m young and you’re not as young ;)), but I wanted to say hello. Or hi, if you have a preference. I’m not sure if people actually have greeting preferences, as long as it’s not “Wazzup Ma??” See, this is the product of studying for 12 hours in a row; I’ve missed social contact. Thanks for being wonderfully funny, and writing so incredibly well (reading your blog has made me pay attention to my grammar), and giving me something to check incessantly. I’ll comment again when you have another one of these!


January 15, 2010 at 3:08 pm

I’m not a lurker, and I’m not going to flash you, and I won’t say labia. (LABIA.) But I will tell you why I read your blog:
1-10. You are hi-friggin-larious, but you also say all the hostile things I always want to say but usually suppress so that no one smacks me over the head.
11. Plus Mama and Papa are awesome.


heidi January 15, 2010 at 5:17 pm

1. you make me laugh
2. i live in ny too and am a mama (of one, soon to be two)
3. i especially love mama and papa


trishk January 19, 2010 at 9:31 am

I missed delurker day…sigh…I’m always a day late and a dollar short…



P.K. January 19, 2010 at 9:55 pm

Apparently, only Jon and I read this entry, which means that Susan is a deadbeat. Or traveling.

OMG, did you see that you have a 20-year old fan? Apparently you really *are* young and hip.


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