It’s So Taxing!

by Marinka on April 12, 2010

Every April, Husbandrinka and I have a conversation that goes something like this:

Husbandrinka: Oy vey, the tax season is upon us! We will have much taxes to pay! (For some reason at this performance, Husbandrinka is being portrayed by Zero Mostel)

Marinka: I have a fantastic out-of-the-box idea! Let’s practice the art of tax evasion!

Husbandrinka: That is short term solution, Marinka. Tax evasion is illegal.

Marinka: But I thought only the Little People paid taxes.

Husbandrinka: No, Marinka, that is not true.

Of course I know that it is not true. It would make absolutely no sense if only midgets had to pay taxes and I’m pretty sure that it would be unconstitutional.

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Do you need tax help? Do you enjoy procrastinating? Why not enter this fun giveaway for an adorable tax de-stresser kit that H&R Block put together? No, it’s not a Canadian passport, silly (Canadian) goose, it’s H&R Block Tax Software, a free Tax Prep Coupon (state and federal, baby!), pens, notebook and a calculator, Red Bull and Tylenol. Although the Times Square H&R Block store will be open AROUND THE CLOCK (OMG!) April 13th to the 15th, the coupon ($187 value!) is good anywhere, so you don’t have to come to NYC to partake in this offer! The savings just don’t ed! Don’t miss this fantastic opportunity! To enter–leave a comment on this post with a word “tax” in it. Giveaway ends at 8 pm on Tuesday, April 13th. I will contact the winner by email and have the kit overnighted! Hurry! Don’t wait! Tax evasion is not the answer!

One year ago ...

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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Joanna April 12, 2010 at 8:24 pm

I just want to let you know that I adore your blog. You are funny, witty & honest and I’m always excited when I see a new post of yours in my google reader!!!

Joanna

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Tristachio April 12, 2010 at 9:51 pm

The one and only time I ever used H&R Block at the naive, fresh age of 21 I was audited for the very first time in my life. It involved alot of crying and raging and eventually finding out that H&R Block filed a false tax return upon my behalf. I had to pay back all of my income tax plus some because of them.

But please don’t let this dampen the person who wins this because I later found out that H&R Block ships all the idiots to the branch in my town because, really, only my town would put up with the idiot accountants.

Reply

Blognut
Twitter:
April 12, 2010 at 10:19 pm

Oy. I am waiting for the last minute to finish my taxes. Anything else would make Uncle Sam suspicious.

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ladyday April 13, 2010 at 8:50 am

Taxes? Shit, is it April again already?

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barbara sigelbaum
Twitter:
April 13, 2010 at 10:43 am

Girls fantasize about marrying their daddy. This is why you hear Husbandrinka as Zero Mostel. Not a taxing conclusion.

Reply

Antropologa April 13, 2010 at 3:26 pm

Note: I do not want this package, as I am about to move abroad and have no room to own things. However I wanted to say that it’s hilarious to me how every year my husband is TOTALLY SURPRISED about taxes. Like it doesn’t happen every year at the same time, jeez.

Reply

Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him
Twitter:
April 13, 2010 at 3:39 pm

We’re screwed then because we’re both tall. My husband is a tax attorney, which made me believe upon marrying him, that I would never have to pay taxes again through some clever legal maneuvering on his part. Somehow, I pay more than I ever did before. I think he’s secretly billing me for his time on Turbo Tax.

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pam April 13, 2010 at 5:31 pm

Taxes are taxing.

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MarathonMom April 13, 2010 at 10:27 pm

Are you one of them? Taxes are due like, in less than 36 hours. Are you going to send us all red velvet cakes with files in them when we go to federal prison?

Reply

Catootes
Twitter:
April 14, 2010 at 6:22 am

Does this kit come with anti-procrastination software? I believe my husband had the taxes 99.2% complete back in February and decided to wait until yesterday to finish them, bitching all the way through the finish line.

Since the taxes are now done, please to give Tax De-Stresser kit to someone who needs it.

Reply

Vicki
Twitter:
April 14, 2010 at 9:03 am

Russian Accountant Luba takes care of our taxes, and it’s glorious. Since she’s my mother’s age, she always takes time to lecture us on the tax benefits of having kids.

Reply

Mo "Mad Dog" Stoneskin April 14, 2010 at 9:10 am

Personally I believe that midgets should pay less taxes because they take up less space. Giants should pay through the roof. 5’8″ males should pay no taxes whatsoever. Not that I’m biased towards 5’8″ males.

Reply

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