Jewish, Shmoowish

by Marinka on December 6, 2009

As I may have mentioned a few thousand times in the past, Husbandrinka is Kristian (What? He’s a huge Kardashian fan) and I am Jewish. Neither one of us is particularly religious, although he goes to church a few times a year. We celebrate Christmas and I am in charge of the children’s Jewish education. Which I basically limit to lighting the menorah candles on Hanukkah and then taking the kids to a few sales, and we’re good for another year.

Except this year, Young Ladrinka is laying it on thick. See, he remembers that last year, I did not get him a Hanukkah present and he is trying to monetize his pain over this issue by demanding two Hanukkah presents this year. And because he is apparently Orthodox, he wants two Wii games, one for last year and one for this year.

I am not on board with this. First, I don’t give the kids Hanukkah presents because Christmas is our big gift giving holiday and second, because I suspect that my son’s interest in celebrating Hanukkah has more to do with the Wii game and less with the celebration of the festival of lights.

And third of all, I didn’t get a present from him.

So, I’m holding firm with the “no.” And he says, “but you’re my only Jewish relative! How will I know to be Jewish if you don’t give me the Wii ga-I mean, a Hanukkah present?” And I pointed out that my papa is also Jewish and gave him a present last year and he was like “he IS?” which really shocked me because whenever papa enters the room, the soundtrack to Fiddler on the Roof automatically starts to play at top volume.

We are at a standstill. There is no way that I am getting him a present for last year, to make up for his pain and suffering, but I’m thinking that maybe I’ll get him something this year for Hanukkah. I tell you, Marx really nailed it with the religion being the opiate of the masses line. Although the Wii is more like crack.

One year ago ...

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Have You Been Naughty or Nice? It’s Not Just Santa Who Wants to Know
December 8, 2009 at 1:59 pm

{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }

Pseudo December 6, 2009 at 11:04 am

Maybe you could suggest if he gives up his Christmas gifts? Hope Ladrinks does not read this because then he will hate me.

Now – my head – if I were a rich man – nananananananana. Yes, thank-you forthat.

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Marinka December 6, 2009 at 9:25 pm

I tried that. His response was that the Christmas gifts came from Santa, not from me.

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Aunt Becky
Twitter:
December 6, 2009 at 11:24 am

Why don’t you get him something really ethnic and make him use–or eat– it so he never asks for a Hanukkah gift again?

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Marinka December 6, 2009 at 9:15 pm

That’s a great idea, I’ll get him a matzo ball. From his great Aunt Becky.

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Kirsten December 6, 2009 at 11:36 am

My four year old son has been learning about all the December holidays at preschool. He came home the other day and told me he wants to celebrate Hanukkah instead of Christmas because it lasts for eight days rather than just one day. Perhaps I can send him to your house for an education in being Jewish.

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Stina
Twitter:
December 6, 2009 at 11:45 am

your Fiddler comment had me LOL. i love that song and the vision of your “papa” strolling in to it. i agree with you on the Wii as crack. everyone around me seems to be addicted. we don’t have one and i prefer it that way. too much money for it and its games, i am cheap. btw, i am not Jewish, or religious for that matter, but I am fascinated with Judaism. i can even sing a song in Hebrew, of course it’s only three words repeated over and over again. take care.

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Maureen@IslandRoar December 6, 2009 at 12:42 pm

Ah, that Ladrinka is a clever one. But I believe there is something in the Torah about statutes of limitations on expired Hanukka gifts. Tell him if he can find it then you’ll get him the Wi. Maybe. When he is BarMitzvah’d.

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Scary Mommy
Twitter:
December 6, 2009 at 6:20 pm

Ladrinka really has mastered the Jewish part, huh? And I can say that since I am Jewish. It’s totally not anti-semitic if a Jew makes fun of a Jew. Once a goy steps in, that’s totally different.

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Kimberly/Mom in the City December 6, 2009 at 8:34 pm

I hear you. We’re not Jewish, but my son wants to celebrate Hanukkah and Christmas. At first, I was down with it UNTIL I realized that he just wanted double gifts. That kid…

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Stimey
Twitter:
December 6, 2009 at 8:46 pm

You should buy him a menorah.

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Marinka December 6, 2009 at 9:27 pm

Oh, we are a Menorah-enriched household.

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tracey December 6, 2009 at 9:12 pm

At least you can rest assured that he’s a bright kid who’s not too proud to try anything to get what he wants, right? My own kids aren’t too bright. They WHINE. Which (duh!) only makes me give them LESS. It’s scary, actually.

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anna see December 6, 2009 at 9:28 pm

Har! I totally picture the whole Fiddler on the Roof thing when I think of Papa. Tell him presents for religious holidays have to be religious. He can research a Hanukkah wii game.

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Andrea's Sweet Life
Twitter:
December 6, 2009 at 10:53 pm

I totally hear the Fiddler on the Roof soundtrack when you talk about Papa. He *IS* Tevya.

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Andrea's Sweet Life
Twitter:
December 6, 2009 at 10:54 pm

And, also, thanks Marinka. I will now be up until Midnight watching Fiddler on the Fucking Roof.

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jessica December 6, 2009 at 11:46 pm

don’t get him anything. Then next year he’ll want one for two nights and then bing, eight nights. Save yourself

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Nicole
Twitter:
December 7, 2009 at 2:02 am

I haven’t given my kids hannukah gifts in a while, although their Kristian dad did one year. I thought I might this year, and the only things I can think of that are small and cheap and someone practical/holidayish are, uh, ornaments. Hmm…I did see a snowglobe with a giant dreidel in it – not spending $10 on that but cheaper than a Wii game and might just do the trick.

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Sophie December 7, 2009 at 2:07 am

But being a jew is all about pain and suffering! and food. and nagging our kids. and more food. and suffering.
I <3 being jewish!

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Vicki
Twitter:
December 7, 2009 at 8:39 am

What my Jewish mom and Kristian dad told me when I asked for eight presents for Hanukkah was that ya obnaglela (I was obnoxious) and just to wait patiently for New Year like every good Soviet child. Then my mom lovingly told me stories of how Jewish children in WWII didn’t’ have Hanukkah and weren’t even living a majority of the time and also were starving but if I felt I were being Unfairly Deprived she would still buy me a Polly Pocket.

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MommyTime
Twitter:
December 7, 2009 at 1:45 pm

At least he didn’t ask for one for each night. On the other hand, one for last year does seem a bit overdoing it. I suggest that you calculate your own birthday on the Jewish calendar and Chinese calendars and then demand presents at least three times per year to celebrate that occasion (bonus: with three birthdays per year, and obviously actual aging happening only once per calendar year, no one will ever be able to remember how old you are, and so you can claim any age you like in perpetuity — “No, the birthday where I turn 37 isn’t till April; this is my CHINESE birthday…”). If he goes for it, then perhaps a Hanukkah present. But I would limit it to something a bit more wee than a Wii.

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amy2boys
Twitter:
December 14, 2009 at 10:49 am

I was in Fiddler when I worked in dinner theaters a thousand years ago. I was the daughter who married the tailor.

Sunrise-Sunset and all that.

Your papa does seem like the perfect Tevye.

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