Let’s Make a Deal

by Marinka on January 10, 2011

I swear to you, when I was pregnant with my children, I did not watch a single episode of Let’s Make a Deal.  So it’s a huge shock that the episodes that I watched during my teenage years imprinted themselves on my fallopian tubes in such a manner that my son is now Monty Hall.

Like this weekend I’m making dinner and whistling a happy tune and suddenly I notice that the bag of recyclables (you know, empty wine and gin bottles) is overflowing.   Young Ladrinka is couchside, watching 20 Greatest Games on the MLB Network.

“Hey,” I sing out to him, “can you take the recycling out, please?”

“URGH.  NOW? I’m watching THE GAME,” he advises me.

He’s going to make some woman really happy one day, but nevertheless, I point out to him that he’s watching a game from the 1980s (or the 9os, I’m not a baseballogist) and that he could pause it for the three minutes that it will take him to take out the recycling.

And he says, “I’ll make you a deal.  I’ll take out the recycling…IF!” and he pauses dramatically, “you take me to play basketball.”

And I don’t say anything because I’m busy to counting to ten very slowly and then taking the kind of yoga breaths that should propel me directly to the Himalayas.

But finally, I say “no.”

And when I say “no,” Young Ladrinka says, “Either take my deal, or we go our separate ways.”

What?

What separate ways?

What is he talking about?

Is he in the Mafia?

So I say, “We’ll have to go our separate ways.  You’re going to the recycling area and I’m going to stand right here.”

And it worked.

Maybe next time he’ll think long and hard before trying to make a deal with me.  And maybe will throw  some candy in to sweeten it.

One year ago ...

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{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }

Issa
Twitter:
January 10, 2011 at 4:50 pm

I love this. You know why? Because I was convinced it was just my kid who thinks everything is up for debate.

I’m seriously tired of saying: I don’t remember offering you a choice actually.

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Phoenix Rising
Twitter:
January 10, 2011 at 4:57 pm

🙂 You know how we go to the grocery store and just pay whatever price is stamped on the food? You realize we’re raising a whole generation of “look, I’ll tell you what…. I’ll give you the $4.40 for the loaf of bread IF …. you knock off a dollar fifty on this orange juice.”

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psychicgeek January 10, 2011 at 5:02 pm

My fave move is to screw up my face as if I were actually trying to make a decision before I say NO. They don’t enjoy it quite so much as I do, except when they are doing impressions of Mom.

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kiki
Twitter:
January 10, 2011 at 6:03 pm

i’m convinced my son will be a lawyer because all he does is negotiate deals with us., wehther it’s over meals or Nintendo DS play time. it’s annoying, but at the same time i think he’s smart. take care, Marinka.

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kiki
Twitter:
January 10, 2011 at 6:04 pm

and obviously i cannot spell. sorry, we had a snow day today, and will probably have one tomorrow, and i’m going a bit stir crazy.

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GrandeMocha
Twitter:
January 10, 2011 at 11:07 pm

OMG you and Marinka have been listening in to my house!!! My kid says, “If I take my antiobotics, what will you buy me?” I tell him if he takes them he will live, his choice. No way am I going down that road.

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Keyona
Twitter:
January 10, 2011 at 6:21 pm

Oh that made me snort. Where to these kids come up with this shit? Hilarious.

P.S. My daughter loooooved the “Big Chief, No Fart” joke. A little too much I think.

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Lynn MacDonald (All Fooked Up) January 10, 2011 at 6:41 pm

hahaha…i love how kids think they have the upper hand… the other day my daughter got pissed at me and told me she would “Defriend me on Facebook…which is like DEATH”… hahaha…i guess if i was 18 it would be but i’m 51. So funny.

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gill January 12, 2011 at 6:44 am

Your comment just made my day. Thanks. :))))

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Kate Lewis
Twitter:
January 10, 2011 at 8:07 pm

That is such a boy thing, I think. My son can come up with some convaluted (I have no idea how to spell that) way of getting out of the simplest task. If he would put half the brainpower into doing what I tell him to do instead of the scheme to get out of it…he could be my ticket out of the ghetto.

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MommyTime
Twitter:
January 10, 2011 at 8:14 pm

Your retort is genius — and is precisely the sort of thing I would wish I could come up with…and I might even think of…about thirteen hours after the fact. You are my parenting hero.

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alexandra
Twitter:
January 10, 2011 at 10:37 pm

I don’t know how you keep from laughing out loud.

And the question is, would Papa be proud or not?

Beautiful boy, by the way.

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Libby January 10, 2011 at 10:46 pm

At least he isn’t wrapping up pets and other items and asking you to guess which box. He isn’t, is he?

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@RachelFerrucci January 10, 2011 at 10:55 pm

haha I love it. Shows he’s always thinking.

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JustMom420zaks
Twitter:
January 10, 2011 at 11:32 pm

My son is 3.
3 years old, mind you. He doesn’t speak in complete sentences yet, and he pulls this same stuff on me.
I say, “You use your super-goodboy-inside-voice for when Sissy is sleeping.” he looks up at me and answers, “Candy?”
I say, “No. No candy. You can have some chicken, I made you chicken.”
He scrunches his face and in a warning tone says, “Loud.” Informing me of what he’s capable of, then pulls on my shirt, “Candy, mom.”
*sigh*
No, I didn’t give him candy. But none of us were happy by the time this argument ended.

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Tracie
Twitter:
January 11, 2011 at 2:07 am

My daughter is the crazy deal making queen. I think she must lie awake at nights thinking up the elaborate deals that she wants to make with me in her quest to drive me completely crazy.

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From Belgium January 11, 2011 at 5:54 am

Yup, you gave birth to a lawyer in spé . Sorry hon.

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Lady Jennie January 11, 2011 at 9:53 am

This cracked me up so much I had to read it to my husband (who cracked up too).

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the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
January 11, 2011 at 10:15 am

I find it absolutely amazing that boys/men will sit down and watch a baseball game from 20 years ago. I mean, do I sit down and watch 90210 from 1995?? Oh, never mind.

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Melissa January 11, 2011 at 10:47 am

My boy, 4 and a half years old, is poised to either become A. a trial lawyer or B. a terrorist. You can’t negotiate with either (according to some.) Trying to get my 4.5 year old to take a dose of tylenol during his recent bout of flu was like trying to convince Glenn Beck and Noam Chomsky that they really are great friends. Even the promise of candy (lollipops) didn’t work. In his feverish state, he kept moaning “I don’t like sugar!” That’s how I knew he was REALLY sick!!!

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Braja January 11, 2011 at 11:10 am

Did someone mention the Himalayas??? Bloody freezin’ outside. Bloody Himalayas….

http://www.brajas.com/2008/12/you-want-cold-ill-give-you-cold.html

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CSY January 11, 2011 at 12:53 pm

My children TRY the same thing! They tend to forget that their only way of eating is by me getting the food and cooking it…so WHY would they want to make the parental unit angry?! LOL My 8 yr old is now into football and he’s watching all kinds of games – 8yr old says he’s watching the game too – its HIGH SCHOOL! They don’t count! JUST KIDDING!

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Tonya
Twitter:
January 11, 2011 at 1:28 pm

I think Young Ladrinka has been giving deal lessons to my toddler. He’ll ask me: “Mommy can I have a cookie? Yes or no?” Then I say: “No.” Then he says: “How about yes. I only hear yes.”
I love the: “then taking the kind of yoga breaths that should propel me directly to the Himalayas,” that’s fabulous and oh so true!

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elizabeth-flourish in progress
Twitter:
January 11, 2011 at 1:44 pm

man, where do i sign up to have you come over and do a parenting makeover in my home. i need that kind of sharp wit to keep my family in line. or maybe my family needs sharp wit to keep me in line. i’m confused.

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Miss Britt
Twitter:
January 11, 2011 at 6:48 pm

This would never have happened if you were Chinese.

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Christy @ cat fur to make kitten britches January 11, 2011 at 8:09 pm

I get that kind of crap all the time from my 9 year old, only my response is not usually half as nice (or as funny) as yours. My “deal” usually goes something along the lines of: if you take the recycling out, then I will let you live to see your next birthday.

(And I swear, I have no connections to the mafia)

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Loukia January 11, 2011 at 11:30 pm

You’re awesome, Marinka.

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Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him
Twitter:
January 11, 2011 at 11:42 pm

You may not receive this message from atop the Himalayas in your lotus pose, but this was funny. I bet Young Ladrinka would be a bad ass Russian mafia kingpin.

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Glamamom
Twitter:
January 12, 2011 at 12:17 am

He sounds enterprising to me. I like that.

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elenka January 12, 2011 at 9:01 am

What a guy. Hey, it doesn’t hurt to try. Good for him
As long as in the end, without too much time going by, he actually does it.
Kids.

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Alexandria
Twitter:
January 12, 2011 at 8:08 pm

“we’ll go our separate ways”? i love your kids seriously. like i want to hang out with them. they sound awesome! 🙂

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