My husband is driving me crazy.
Oh, don’t worry, I still love him, of course, but that man is incapable of lying.
And not just the white lies, like when I ask him if I look like I’ve lost weight and he looks at me and says “no, but I think you gained some.” But the off-white lies, as well.
Some people in my off-line life know that I have a blog, but most don’t. I blog anonymously, I use a nickname rather than my real name and I don’t post photographs of any identifying birthmarks.
I’ve always been anonymous, in large part because Husbandrinka wanted it that way. (Husbandrinka is not his real name.) So imagine my surprise when I came back from my trip to Mom 2.0 in New Orleans and he told me that he told everyone about my blog.
“What’s that now?” I asked, convinced that the cocktails and Bourbon Street had permanently affected that part of my brain that was responsible for processing information.
And he told me that when he was picking up our daughter from a party, one of the mothers asked where I was and he said at a “blogging conference.”
Apparently this mom was some kind of a CIA trained operative because she immediately guessed that I have a blog.
“Why did you tell her that I was at a blogging conference?” I asked.
“Because you were,” he said. I think this was the whole Women Are From Venus I Don’t Understand What the Fuck Men Are Talking About thing playing out right before my eyes.
“Yes, but we agreed not to tell anyone about it,” I spoke slowly. “Because the point of blogging anonymously is not telling people you know about it. Like the Witness Protection Program.”
“But she asked where you were. What am I supposed to do, lie?”
“Of course you’re supposed to lie.”
“I guess I’m just not a liar,” he said.
I swear to God, sometimes it’s like I’m married to morally superior stranger.
In other news, welcome to my blog, dear friends!
I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about my blog for three years!
It’s one of the pitfalls of being a liar!
But you look great today, love your hair! (And don’t forget to check out my archives!)
One year ago ...
- Sleigh Me - 2015