by Marinka on February 15, 2011

First, the Good News.

I’m one of the finalists for the Laugh-Out-Loud Parenting Blog Award. I’m not sure what this laugh out loud business is about, but they’re probably laughing at my parenting skills, even though I’m trying my damnest.

And I started to write some post about what an honor it is to have been nominated and to be included in a group with such awesome bloggers, when suddenly I had this little uncomfortable pseudo-memory that I may have been the one who nominated myself in that category. I mean, I probably didn’t, but can you imagine if I went on and on about the kindness of someone who nominated me and it turned out to be MYSELF?

But anyway, I’m really not about contests (truly) so I’ll just say thank you for the acknowledgment (possibly to myself), it truly is an honor to be in such amazing company and I’m totally going to lie to everyone and say that I won anyway, so there’s absolutely no need to vote for me.

Second, the Bad News.

I decided that I must be financially responsible and sold my Mom 2.0 ticket. That really hurt. Especially since I’ve been thinking about buying it again, at a higher price.

But I’m not going to.  Because of the financial responsibility thing.

I applied for a sponsorship, so if I get it, it was meant to be, and if I don’t, we’ll all have to know that the anti-Semites won. I’m a little pouty about it, because I wanted to go to Mom 2.0 so much, but apparently it’s not one of those places where you can get in on your good looks. Or at least I can’t.

Third, the Scary News.

I’m a bad, bad person. and I’m being punished.

It’s like one of those Greek myths, where a peri-menopausal woman loves reality TV so much and she keeps watching them as they get more and more ridiculous and then she gets invited to the premier of Doggie Moms a new reality series that follows a group of New York City women whose lives revolve around their dogs. Our heroine goes to the premier thinking that it will be all good fun and emerges so depressed that she can’t even enjoy the weekly laundry, nor the weekly vacuuming, nor the monthly straightening up. Alas, our heroine is badly shaken up, and her previously documented depression lite from which she has been emerging, has been upgraded to a Quadruple Heart of Darkness of Dick Cheney proportions.

I’m pretty sure it was one of the books of the Odyssey.

Because as Doggie Moms begins, we are introduced to Karen and her Chihuahua Eli, who is an A-list dog and appeared on the box of Milkbones!  Karen looks like she could have been a supermodel fifteen years ago, she’s beautiful, tall and thin. What sets her apart, though, is that she also seems sane. Most of the time.

Then there’s Erika with her two dogs, Cubby and Ginger, who are both rescue dogs and who seem to make a lot of noise. Maybe that’s just Ginger. Who the hell knows. I can’t tell them apart.

Finally, we meet Grace with Rosie and Portia. Apparently Grace believes in naming her dogs after power lesbians, so what’s not to love?

Grace scares me very much. She has a smoky Lauren Bacall voice. She calls Erika to ask what Cubby and Ginger are wearing to a Puppy Prom that the three psuedo-friends and their dogs are attending. Erika says she isn’t sure, but Grace isn’t buying it. What kind of an idiot doesn’t know what her dog is wearing to the Puppy Prom?!

There are a few things that happen at the Puppy Prom that I missed because at some point during the screening I must have passed out, but I do seem to recall Grace flinging some accusations of unfairness and one of Erika’s dogs winning something.

After the viewing of the first episode, there was a Q & A with Karen and Eli. I was a nervous wreck because I was terrified that I’d accidentally step on Eli. Even though I was sitting down and not tap dancing or anything. But the idea of “Giant Blogger Crushes on Beloved NYC Pet and Milkbone Model” headline haunted me. As if to taunt me, someone asks how much Eli weighs, and it’s 5 pounds. I weigh more.  To take my mind of a possible catastrophe, I ask if Eli has any friends, and the good news is that he does and the other news is that he is also married.  I don’t know if he’s married to his friend or someone else, and I’m no Perez Hilton, so we’ll never know.

The show premiers on Wednesday, February 16th at 9:30, on NYC Life (channel 26). But even if you’re not in NYC (ouch!) you can watch it online, after the premiere here. And you can watch promos here.  You sort of owe it to yourself.  Think of it as spiritual growth (and perhaps atoning for every bad thing you’ve ever done.)

And fourth, and finally, thank you.  A huge thank you for reading my blog. It’s a really important part of my life now and your comments and emails and just knowing that people are reading what I write means so much to me.  Even if I still don’t get any hate mail, which is how a blogger knows that she has arrived.

Oh, well.  I guess I’ll just have to settle for being universally adored.

One year ago ...

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{ 34 comments… read them below or add one }

February 15, 2011 at 12:17 am

I don’t understand your posts or what you’re talking about. Ever.

I just come here for Awesome Dude, and if I have to go through you to get to him, then so be it.

{ack! I tried to do that as a hatemail so you’d feel as if you’ve arrived b/c people with depression lite and depression full-fat get to me in a very long story way}

Anyway, I tried to be your first hatemail ever, but just couldn’t…but HEY!!! wasn’t there the time that you wrote of not wanting to be a pedophile and got hated on up and down and east and west at ScaryMommy?

Can you use that as retroactive hatemail?



February 15, 2011 at 1:29 am

Marinka…I HATE YOU .
P.S. You’ve arrived. 🙂


From Belgium February 15, 2011 at 5:48 am

Look I tried, really I did, but I just can’t seem to hate you. I’m sorry.


Scary Mommy
February 15, 2011 at 6:44 am

I nominated you (too) because you are the funniest blog I read. And then someone nominated me (not myself this time) and now we are up against each other. See what I get for being nice?! No good deed, dammit. But, really, you make me laugh every day and I kind of love you for it. Fuck. Now I’m getting all mushy.


Jana @ An Attitude Adjustment
February 15, 2011 at 8:12 am

I think it is fair to say you are universally adored. And while the doggie show is interesting (weird), I find myself wondering about which dress you picked from your not so long ago post. So?


Marinka February 15, 2011 at 8:42 am

I can’t remember what it’s called. Something Chinese. Post coming soon! Ish!


empress bee (of the high sea) February 15, 2011 at 8:23 am

so okay, i’ll admit this. once. i came here and commented and you didn’t come to my blog and comment so i thought to myself “self? this self centered biotche is selfish too so i’ll just hate her” so then i read your blog in stealth mode (ie: google reader) every day. rats. now i’m all out and everything. see what you did? buggers…

smiles, bee


Miss Britt
February 15, 2011 at 8:33 am

Who told you? YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO KNOW! I was rallying all of my peeps to vote for you and we were going to overthrow The Bloggess and create a huge buzz about the underdog from NYC winning and you were going to be so surprised when I told you about it at Mom 2.0!

Now I have to see if I can change my vote to Jenny if the surprise is ruined AND you aren’t coming to New Orleans.

No offense, but she’s got pull.


February 15, 2011 at 9:36 am

Dick Cheney here.
Dear Marinka,
Please stop using my name as if it’s a bad thing. It hurts my feelings and makes me cry. Just Kidding. I don’t have feelings. Mwhahahahaha.


the mama bird diaries
February 15, 2011 at 9:41 am

By “giant blogger”, I assumed you meant popular with a giant following. I am so glad you didn’t crush any dogs.


b a seagull
February 15, 2011 at 11:14 am

if you want to be hated, change your style. and sense of humor. and smartness. start disappointing. until then, you have no one to blame but yourself, missy.


February 15, 2011 at 11:31 am

I was going to post something hateful so you’d feel accomplished, but I see other people already did that. So I’ll just say this: God I wish I lived in New York, because it’s just not fair that I’ve lived this long without knowing that such things as Puppy Proms exist. My mind, it is blown.


February 15, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Eh, forget it. I had a good line, but I decided to save it for twitter.


Deb Rox
February 15, 2011 at 12:44 pm

Hate mail is not how you will know you have arrived at Uber status. It will be when, upon envisioning yourself crushing a celebrity dog, you think with glee about how your site will crash when the headline hits Twitter.

How come I don’t live in NYC? I would have excelled at attending that event with you.


Kimberly February 15, 2011 at 1:06 pm

You lost me after “Ive decided to become financially responsible”.


February 15, 2011 at 1:08 pm

One time I nominated myself for PTO president thinking how fun it would be to be so important.

It was not. Now I nominate my best friends so I can make fun of them, and then I enjoy a latte and a book why they work their asses off dealing with apathetic parents. Not that this has anything to do with anything except to say I also love watching the Bachelor. I think.

And thank you for making me laugh almost daily. Not that you don’t do funny every day – but there was the sad slipper story and all you know.


Your Escalator Operator
February 15, 2011 at 1:26 pm

I don’t understand why I can’t vote for MiNYC multiple times on that stupid site. I lived in Chicago for 13 years – multiple votes are essential in any democracy.


February 15, 2011 at 2:29 pm

I don’t actually know what Mom 2.0 is, but I hope you win sponsorship.


Mwa (Lost in Translation) February 15, 2011 at 2:30 pm

If you send me some hate mail, I will send you some. You first. Because I don’t hate you. But I would! For you!


February 15, 2011 at 2:30 pm

You’re up against The Bloggess? Well, fuck.
I mean, I voted for you because bros before hos, but still.


February 15, 2011 at 2:36 pm

I’m voting for you because the winner gets a dog.


February 15, 2011 at 3:31 pm

First, congrats on the nod for the LOL award. Perhaps. I just voted for you but luck is just not my thing, so not sure it helps out that much.

Second, Mom 2.0 will be a very un-LOL place if you’re not there too. So go hawk your goods and get yourself to New Orleans (it will be a much better place if you do). I will be there and I look forward meeting you again. This time I hope to make a better impression than the avid, star-struck reader whose tongue was unable to enunciate understandable words when we met at BlogHer. One can only hope.


Lynn MacDonald (All Fooked Up) February 15, 2011 at 3:35 pm

I was so busy reading all the precious comments that I forgot what I was going to say. Let’s just assume it was pithy and amusing…after all, aren’t my comments always clever?


annie February 15, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Good news, I voted for you and i sent you hate mail. You’ve arrived!


anna see February 15, 2011 at 4:48 pm

You always make me laugh. I can’t even consider sending you hate mail, even of the fake variety!


Phoenix Rising
February 15, 2011 at 5:13 pm

I hope you win. I hope you get the sponsorship. And I hope you get a dog. Because I want to read how Miss Princess Queen Cat — gets along with the new dog. And then you could webcast it and have your own reality tv show. And then people would send you hate mail. Because everyone hates those people who just want to be “famous” for being on a reality tv show and then I can say, “I knew her when she was just a blogger….”


February 15, 2011 at 7:02 pm

Can you imagine, “The Dogs of Kansas City” or “The Dogs of Milwaukee”? Where is the drama? the tension? Do the dogs fight – that would be horrible but I was think more like cat fights. Can we do a citizens arrest if we see the women not cleaning up behind their dogs? Don’t get me wrong, I have three dogs but seriously? And I do watch “The Real Housewives” so I’m not that squeeky.


K-Line February 15, 2011 at 8:23 pm

Damn – I was going to put my hate-on but everyone else got to it first. You’ll have to settle for congratulations.


dusty earth mother February 15, 2011 at 10:54 pm

Any dog that goes to a Puppy Prom deserves to be stepped on. Just sayin’.

Going over to vote for you now. Because you’re the one and only person that I would use the acronym LOL for.


February 16, 2011 at 1:58 am

A puppy prom.

Once you mention puppy prom, you win…because there is just not a good response to that.


Christy February 16, 2011 at 6:06 am

So freaking funny — the power lesbian line made me giggle! Good luck w the sponsorship — you totally deserve it. Not to get all mushy, but seriously your blog is awesome and ALWAYS makes me laugh.


Amanda February 16, 2011 at 10:54 pm



Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him
February 17, 2011 at 11:05 pm

I voted for you because I think it may segue to your own reality show and that’s what keeps me going when the days seem long and dark.


Lady Jennie February 18, 2011 at 3:25 am

Okay I kinda blurred through Scary News, something about dogs. But great news about the great news and I’m so happy to read your blog. If we ever move back to NY, I’ll come hang out with you and Dusty and will laugh at both of your jokes, content to be on the fringe of humor bloggers.


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