First, the Good News.
I’m one of the finalists for the About.com Laugh-Out-Loud Parenting Blog Award. I’m not sure what this laugh out loud business is about, but they’re probably laughing at my parenting skills, even though I’m trying my damnest.
And I started to write some post about what an honor it is to have been nominated and to be included in a group with such awesome bloggers, when suddenly I had this little uncomfortable pseudo-memory that I may have been the one who nominated myself in that category. I mean, I probably didn’t, but can you imagine if I went on and on about the kindness of someone who nominated me and it turned out to be MYSELF?
But anyway, I’m really not about contests (truly) so I’ll just say thank you for the acknowledgment (possibly to myself), it truly is an honor to be in such amazing company and I’m totally going to lie to everyone and say that I won anyway, so there’s absolutely no need to vote for me.
Second, the Bad News.
I decided that I must be financially responsible and sold my Mom 2.0 ticket. That really hurt. Especially since I’ve been thinking about buying it again, at a higher price.
But I’m not going to. Because of the financial responsibility thing.
I applied for a sponsorship, so if I get it, it was meant to be, and if I don’t, we’ll all have to know that the anti-Semites won. I’m a little pouty about it, because I wanted to go to Mom 2.0 so much, but apparently it’s not one of those places where you can get in on your good looks. Or at least I can’t.
Third, the Scary News.
I’m a bad, bad person. and I’m being punished.
It’s like one of those Greek myths, where a peri-menopausal woman loves reality TV so much and she keeps watching them as they get more and more ridiculous and then she gets invited to the premier of Doggie Moms a new reality series that follows a group of New York City women whose lives revolve around their dogs. Our heroine goes to the premier thinking that it will be all good fun and emerges so depressed that she can’t even enjoy the weekly laundry, nor the weekly vacuuming, nor the monthly straightening up. Alas, our heroine is badly shaken up, and her previously documented depression lite from which she has been emerging, has been upgraded to a Quadruple Heart of Darkness of Dick Cheney proportions.
I’m pretty sure it was one of the books of the Odyssey.
Because as Doggie Moms begins, we are introduced to Karen and her Chihuahua Eli, who is an A-list dog and appeared on the box of Milkbones! Karen looks like she could have been a supermodel fifteen years ago, she’s beautiful, tall and thin. What sets her apart, though, is that she also seems sane. Most of the time.
Then there’s Erika with her two dogs, Cubby and Ginger, who are both rescue dogs and who seem to make a lot of noise. Maybe that’s just Ginger. Who the hell knows. I can’t tell them apart.
Finally, we meet Grace with Rosie and Portia. Apparently Grace believes in naming her dogs after power lesbians, so what’s not to love?
Grace scares me very much. She has a smoky Lauren Bacall voice. She calls Erika to ask what Cubby and Ginger are wearing to a Puppy Prom that the three psuedo-friends and their dogs are attending. Erika says she isn’t sure, but Grace isn’t buying it. What kind of an idiot doesn’t know what her dog is wearing to the Puppy Prom?!
There are a few things that happen at the Puppy Prom that I missed because at some point during the screening I must have passed out, but I do seem to recall Grace flinging some accusations of unfairness and one of Erika’s dogs winning something.
After the viewing of the first episode, there was a Q & A with Karen and Eli. I was a nervous wreck because I was terrified that I’d accidentally step on Eli. Even though I was sitting down and not tap dancing or anything. But the idea of “Giant Blogger Crushes on Beloved NYC Pet and Milkbone Model” headline haunted me. As if to taunt me, someone asks how much Eli weighs, and it’s 5 pounds. I weigh more. To take my mind of a possible catastrophe, I ask if Eli has any friends, and the good news is that he does and the other news is that he is also married. I don’t know if he’s married to his friend or someone else, and I’m no Perez Hilton, so we’ll never know.
The show premiers on Wednesday, February 16th at 9:30, on NYC Life (channel 26). But even if you’re not in NYC (ouch!) you can watch it online, after the premiere here. And you can watch promos here. You sort of owe it to yourself. Think of it as spiritual growth (and perhaps atoning for every bad thing you’ve ever done.)
And fourth, and finally, thank you. A huge thank you for reading my blog. It’s a really important part of my life now and your comments and emails and just knowing that people are reading what I write means so much to me. Even if I still don’t get any hate mail, which is how a blogger knows that she has arrived.
Oh, well. I guess I’ll just have to settle for being universally adored.
One year ago ...