Today, John Edwards admitted that he fathered a child with his mistress. Of course, this has gotten lots of press and some of John’s other announcements have gone largely unnoticed.
Here they are:
1. Water is wet.
2. I am a piece of cheating shit. (Apologies to shit everywhere).
3. For betraying my wife.
4. And my family.
5. And lying to everyone.
6. And denying my daughter paternity for the first two years of her life as I tried to cover my own ass.
7. I use styling products in my hair.
8. And it looks fantastic.
9. Who can resist it?
10. Call me!
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
shocking, all of them. and i suppose next you are going to try to tell us the earth is round.
Twitter: daydreamymama
January 21, 2010 at 8:49 am
I am shocked — _shocked_, I tell you — to find that that there is gambling going on in here!
Sage advice I’ve given my daughter…if his lips are moving he’s LYING!!!
Twitter: hokgardner
January 21, 2010 at 9:03 am
What a rotten excuse for a man. Elizabeth ought to kick him to the curb and then run over him a few times for good measure.
what a stupid man. I remember watching Elizabeth Edwards being interviewed by Oprah and her denial of his dastardliness made me so uncomfortable. It was BAD.
Twitter: debontherocks
January 21, 2010 at 9:35 am
Some people make me wish we still had stocks in the town square. Though right-on blog posts are just as good, now that I think about it. Rat bastard!
Twitter: NonaNelson
January 21, 2010 at 9:39 am
I am certainly glad apologies were made to shit everywhere. Even turds would be offended to be compared to this twatburger.
Apologies to twats and burgers everywhere.
I feel very sorry for this innocent child.
Twitter: vboykis
January 21, 2010 at 9:46 am
I am most shocked that he did not apologize for his hair.
It’s kind of like saying the sky is blue at this point, isn’t it?
Twitter: kobiANDlaelsmom
January 21, 2010 at 11:38 am
Is it wrong of me to say I’m not surprised. Now Tiger surprised me. I’m lying. He didn’t surprise me either. Shitbags.
When is his Cosmo pin-up coming out?
Twitter: amy2boys
January 21, 2010 at 1:52 pm
i despise that man almost too much to even laugh at this. DESPISE.
Oh come now… sure he’s a POS, but what about the guy who worked for him who said the child was HIS knowing it wasn’t. The guy who put his own wife through the wringer and made her look like an idiot and come to find out, he was lying for the boss. He ALSO deserves a kick in the stones. GRRRRR
It’s entirely possible that there’s more than one asshole in this story.
Now I know I love you!
What a dick, huh?
Twitter: e3writing
November 1, 2010 at 5:51 pm
Is it weird that I thought you meant John Edward, the psychic from Crossing Over?