by Marinka on October 18, 2012

A few months ago I decided that I wanted to have our kitchen/dining room area painted and things haven’t been the same since.

Husbandrinka took the news hard.

“What do you mean painted?” He asked, semi-clutching his chest and reaching for Bayer.

“I mean have the walls painted,” I explained as gently as I could, “just a solid color, I haven’t asked Michelangelo to recreate the Sistine Chapel or anything.” Because that would be pricey, and not to belabor the point, but we are on a budget. Besides I’m Jewish and don’t need to have a piece of the Vatican with me at all times.

“I don’t know about this,” Husbandrinka shook his head, but I noticed that color started to return to his cheeks.

My friends reacted as though I had announced something a lot more substantial, like that I was planning gender reassignment. Oh, they were supportive, but confused. Wondering whether they’d missed a sign somewhere along the way that I was unhappy with my birth gender. I mean my walls.

“Why do you want to paint?” Charlotte asked when she was over.

“Because the walls are dirty and could use freshening up,” I explained. She shrugged. And suggested that I needed lower watt lightbulbs.

Obviously she has her own paint issues to work through.

But one friend came through.

“I love to paint!” Susan said.

Susan is my friend who can do anything.

Including volunteering for a paint job.

“Fantastic!” I said. “When can you get started?”

Unfortunately, she thought that we would paint together.

“Oh, like an I Love Lucy episode?” I asked. Because I like TV. And what’s not to love about I Love Lucy?!

She didn’t love that idea. So she sent me a list of supplies that I needed and Young Ladrinka and I headed over to our local Home Depot. Who by the way is not sponsoring this post because they are anti-semites.

I got the brushes, and the rollers and the attachments to the rollers and blue tape (I assume that’s for pre-marking the body for the police in case one of us perishes mid-paint) but when it came to the paint, I was stumped. Susan suggested that I get Baer low-odor paint, which despite my love of a cheap high, I conceded was a great idea. But the problem was when I went to get “White”, they had quite a few shades. Which is super racist.

“OMG!” I told Young Ladrinka, who was fashioning a noose from extension cords. Home Depot has that effect on some people. “What’s with all these white colors?” I started taking samples. “There are so many whites to choose from, I’m going to have to show these to Husbandrinka,” I explained. Assuming Husbandrinka’s cardiologist gave the go-ahead, of course.

Young Ladrinka disagreed with my choices.

Here are some samples that each of us picked.

I know it’ll be hard to figure out which is which, but try. TRY.

The painting is this Saturday morning.

If you want to swing by.

One year ago ...

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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes October 18, 2012 at 9:58 am

I’m afraid I can’t get a hold of a visa that quick.


K-Line October 18, 2012 at 10:16 am

Ha! Acute illness and being out of the country will prevent me from assisting, but let me say (having gone through a renovation for the last 5 months – which will culminate finally in the painting of my own bedroom for the first time since I bought my house 13 yrs ago – painting is alright). Sure, I’m having someone else do this paint job, but I’ve painted many times and it’s actually kind of fun – in a “is this over yet” kind of way. There’s nothing like living in a construction zone for a few months to put things in perspective. I suggest you add a room onto your house and then you’ll want to paint your entire apt!


joeinvegas October 18, 2012 at 11:11 am

It will be interesting, I hope someone takes a video of you painting.


BakingSuit October 18, 2012 at 11:51 am

I actually LOVE painting and if I wasn’t coming down with my husband’s cold on top of the ear infection I have, I’d hop a train and come help. That red would make a fantastic accent color for a kitchen.


October 18, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Fifty shades of white, huh…I know, that was corny. Sorry. Good luck.


October 19, 2012 at 12:04 am

That second set of samples looks like a baseball


October 19, 2012 at 9:44 pm

oh.. I meant a football.. but who cares about sports anyway


October 19, 2012 at 7:31 am

I think you need some color in your life. Have fun!


Stasha October 19, 2012 at 11:27 am

I like his version of white .


Marta October 19, 2012 at 6:00 pm

That’s why I never paint. Or paint white. When did white stop being just white?

Good luck. Stop by my house when you’re done with yours!


P.K. October 20, 2012 at 2:19 pm

I’m in love with you for choosing (any shade of) white. All walls should be (some shade of) white. Wall should never be anything like Bordello Red. Unless they’re in, you know, a bordello.


Lady Jennie October 25, 2012 at 1:09 pm

I chuckled at the I Love Lucy episode. I can so picture that!


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