I had a busy weekend.
It was pouring rain outside, and I decided to spend the time reflecting.
By looking into the mirror.
You know that disease that some women are afflicted with? Where they look in the mirror and instead of seeing themselves as they really are, they see imperfections, a distorted body image and think that they’re fat. Well, I have the opposite of that.
I look in the mirror, and even though it says “continued on the next mirror”, I think I look fantastic. Which is great, except we now know that my doctor told me that I’d gained twenty pounds.
So I’ve been trying to lose weight, which is hard for me, because after years of studying fashion magazines, I became convinced that I was one of those nauseating models who lives on french fries and doesn’t seem to gain weight. And I was almost like that, so close, except I gained tons of weight.
Over the weekend, I started to think. And by think, I mean, get a pedicure and read US Weekly. It was the issue that had some celebrities on the cover. And Kelly Ripa was inside the magazine, telling me that she credits the workout at Physique 57 with her great body.
That’s all the research that I needed to do. As soon as my toe nails dried, I ran (well, walked at a steady clip) home, to google the shit out of Physique 57. Here’s what I learned:
* Kelly loves it!
* People describe it as addictive!
* Addicts see results right away!
* It’s ouchy!
* Combines pilates, calesthenics, dance moves, a ballet barre, and a playground ball!
* It’s expensive!
In other words, I was in!
I decided to share the good news with Husbandrinka.
“Guess what!” I told him, “I am going to take a new, expensive exercise class!”
He didn’t seem happy.
“Why don’t you just go to the Y?” he asked.
“Your attitude is toxic to me,” I protested, “besides, I trust Kelly with my life.”
When will I learn, gentle reader? Oh, when will I learn?
One year ago ...
- The Pope is no Longer Polish - 2013
{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
Body Dysmorphia is nothing to kid about. Neither is Physique 57 by the sounds of it. But hey! It looks like there is a location just next to my house in Bridgehampton, perhaps I will join you this summer!
Twitter: goldengirlblogs
March 16, 2010 at 9:55 am
good luck with your new exercise program. i saw a segment on Reg & Kel about Physique 57. She took us to the P 57 studio and did a workout with her trainer. it seemed intense and Kel was extremely sweaty and out of breath. have fun!
Haha! Loved this post. I too was convinced I was one of the skinny ones until well, none of my clothes fit anymore! 😉 And well, the fact that it took me like 4 years to lose the ‘baby weight’! 😉 So finally finally I’m at the gym everyday – almost – at lunch time. The gym is 3 blocks from my work downtown. I have NO excuses, so now I go and I love it – love the classes, the cardio, the weights. Finally! Hallelujah! And I’ve mostly given up carbs. It’s painful, but I need to. It’s not fun, but I need to see results and get fit for BlogHer. Yes, BlogHer is my inspiration! I’m meeting you, after all! Good Luck to you!!!!!
I would LOVE to go to P57. I googled Kelly Ripa’s exercise routine and found it. It looks amazing, but too expensive for me right now.
Let us know what it’s like!
I love Physique 57!! It’s totally worth the money because it’s so efficient. I went 3x week and noticed significant changes without working out the other days. I wish you the best of luck. Don’t be surprised if you can’t walk the next day!
Twitter: vboykis
March 16, 2010 at 10:32 am
57…as in $57 per class? Sounds like a really intense workout.
Twitter: rimarama
March 16, 2010 at 11:25 am
“Continued in next mirror” is the best line ever.
celebrities validate my life. i was going to stop watching E since it’s pretty much noxious to my brain until I heard Anderson Cooper say he watches The Soup and he’s on CNN so, there.
Honey, I’m pretty sure that those nauseating models who lives on french fries and don’t seem to gain weight are vomiting after every meal.
Just the name sounds expensive. I think its great that you can see yourself looking wonderful. Not many women can pull that off. Myself included. I still vote that you should just get the BOSU ball.
Twitter: HipMom
March 16, 2010 at 4:15 pm
P57 is tough, but everyone swears by it. I never manages to get it together to make it to an actual class, but I recently bought the DVDs. No I haven’t done them yet, I’m working up to it. Otherwise it’s basically suicide. Which doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try it, you totally should.
That would make me take to my bed.
Ooh, sounds fun!! Good luck! I’ve been working out for about 5 weeks now and I’ve lost 9 lbs! You can do it!
You are hot. Your doctor is a douche. Any doctor who would mention a 20 lb weight gain, needs to get a life.
How much time can go by before you give up on losing the baby weight?
Because Anne will be 37 this summer….
So nice to meet someone else that lies themselves thin. I recently had a run in with my new “digital” scale that weighs me at 10 pounds more than my old scale. I thought I looked hot in 6th grade wearing headgear and glasses. Some people just don’t get it.
I read these posts out of order! So now I see why you took the class – Kelly Ripa did that to me too – but with her medicine ball workout. Making the alphabet in front of you, while holding a medicine ball – sounds easy right? Killer workout. My whole body hurt for days. But I kept at it, and it definitely worked! Good luck with the classes!
continued on the next mirror
so hilarious