Practically A Cougar

by Marinka on April 30, 2010

So yesterday afternoon I was walking home from a challenging Physique 57 workout, when this man started walking next to me.
“I love your sunglasses,” he told me, and I thanked him, because I am nothing if not polite. Well, one thing led to another and pretty soon he said to me, “I’d love to take you out and buy you a drink, is that doable?”
I was pretty startled and not just because I didn’t think that people outside of corporate used words like “doable”. But I’ve been married for approximately forever, so I don’t get asked out a lot. Although I like how that previous sentence implies that before I got married I got asked out all the time.
“No, I’m sorry,” I said, my tail in full wag mode.
“Cuz I’m black, right?” he asked.
“No, because I’m married.” It took all my strength not to add to a black man.
“No, you’re not,” he said.
“Yes, I am,” I told him. And showed him my wedding rings.
He squinted. (Note to Husbandrinka: bigger rocks next time)
“Congratulations,” he conceded.

I came home and mulled it over.
A man asked me out!
A younger man asked me out!
A younger black man asked me out!
I still have it.
Although in my case, the “it” is apparently sunglasses.

One year ago ...

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April 30, 2010 at 9:38 am

{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }

Jeanne April 30, 2010 at 8:30 am

At the risk of sounding trite, I am laughing my ass off….

Reply

Elise April 30, 2010 at 9:13 am

Is it doable to hire him to ask me out too?

I’d turn him down too, but it seems like he is missing quite a big market for Flatterer For Hire.

Is he on Twitter?

Reply

anna see April 30, 2010 at 9:39 am

You go, girl!

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anonymouseducator
Twitter:
April 30, 2010 at 9:59 am

So a wedding ring on a woman does not usually attract men the way a wedding ring on a man attracts women?

Reply

I'm Nate's Mom April 30, 2010 at 1:08 pm

My husband, who hasn’t worn his wedding band since, oh, I don’t know, September 4, 1992, attracts other men. it’s a win-win; he feels sexy, I don’t feel threatened, and maybe I score a new shopping buddy. Except I don’t actually enjoy shopping . . .

Reply

anonymous educator
Twitter:
May 1, 2010 at 10:24 am

Is September 4th the day you got married or the day he found out you were having an affair?

Reply

Sophie, Inzaburbs April 30, 2010 at 10:08 am

Or maybe those Physique 57 workouts are … working??? 🙂

Reply

magpie April 30, 2010 at 10:53 am

Roar!

Reply

Crisanna April 30, 2010 at 11:08 am

I’ve been needing some new sunglasses…

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soccermom April 30, 2010 at 11:11 am

I think it says alot that you came out of the physique 57 class (I assume you sweat) and he found you attractive still. Now Im jealous cause Im pretty sure no man even an old one would ask me out when Im done with the gym.

Reply

foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog) April 30, 2010 at 11:20 am

I wear sunglasses constantly. If you happen to bump into him again soon, I’d not mind if you passed him my number so he could ask me out and I could politely turn him down, too.

Reply

Jennifer S April 30, 2010 at 11:25 am

Clearly, YOU are doable. 😉

Reply

Ann's Rants April 30, 2010 at 11:27 am

That happened to me a few years ago, but it turned out he just wanted to sell me hair products.

Reply

Awesome dude April 30, 2010 at 11:36 am

Jewish wife comes home and says to her husband: Somebody called me a whore on a market place.

The husband says: You should not go where they know you.

Reply

Coco
Twitter:
April 30, 2010 at 11:48 am

You got it girl. It isn’t the sunglasses.

Reply

alexandra
Twitter:
April 30, 2010 at 12:04 pm

The best part about that post right there ? The note to Husbandrinka aka bigger rocks, please.

Like the way you worked that in, because, you know what man wants his woman getting hit on all the time because you can’t see the ring???

Reply

Alex
Twitter:
April 30, 2010 at 1:53 pm

This happened to me last week. At the Pita Palace. But the young man wasn’t ACTUALLY asking me to go downtown for a night of dancing. He was offering to get me a highchair from the downtown Pita Palace. Maybe next time I should wear sunglasses. The falafel was good though.

Reply

kiki
Twitter:
April 30, 2010 at 2:20 pm

congrats! i love it when men swoon over me. okay… it was, like, one guy, a long time ago when i was newly married, and i was still in my twenties, but it still counts. ugh. i feel old. have a great weekend, Marinka, and yes, you still got it!

Reply

Heather, Queen of Shake Shake April 30, 2010 at 2:37 pm

I’ve only been asked out once since getting married and it was by a man old enough to be my father. I want to say “fuck your sunglasses!” but that’s not how friends talk to one another. So, can I just borrow them instead?

Reply

beautylogicblog April 30, 2010 at 5:57 pm

hilarious. lol, you are hysterical. loved it.

Reply

Aunt Becky
Twitter:
April 30, 2010 at 6:12 pm

It was me, Marinka. I was asking you out. Disguised as a dude. I FOOLED YOU UNTIL I OUTED MYSELF ON YOUR BLOG. HAH.

Wait…

Reply

cassie April 30, 2010 at 9:28 pm

so i just discovered your blog and have to say as a fellow new yorker, I love it.. this post was absolutely hilarious 🙂 it’s totally an ego boost when us married woman get hit on 🙂

Reply

Margaret (Nanny Goats)
Twitter:
May 1, 2010 at 1:49 am

The last time I got “picked up”, I was befuddled as to why some guy younger than I was even talking to me. I was looking for his insane asylum dog tags to figure out if he’d escaped or something. It was shocking I can tell you that. But it was also horribly flattering.

Reply

Suzy
Twitter:
May 1, 2010 at 4:31 am

Until a truck full of Mexicans and lawnmowers honk at your ass, you have not KNOWN the joy of “still having it.”

Reply

Slow Panic
Twitter:
May 1, 2010 at 12:25 pm

the ‘doable’ is still killing me.

Reply

GrandeMocha
Twitter:
May 1, 2010 at 11:43 pm

I think we need a picture of the sunglasses. And the dude.

Reply

Sophie May 2, 2010 at 3:09 am

Is it doable for you to share the make and model of your sun glasses? It’s been a very long while since anybody asked me out, and I’m feeling mighty old today as is.

Reply

the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
May 2, 2010 at 7:13 pm

obviously, you’ve still got it.

Reply

Nicole Feliciano
Twitter:
May 2, 2010 at 9:45 pm

Love it–great post. Of course you’ve got it!

Reply

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