Forgive me, friends, for I have sinned.
For I have gone weeks without hosting a We Weekly Chat.
Let’s have an absolutory glass of Chardonnay and move on, shall we? This week, in Us Weekly:
* A three-way Who Wore It Best-offm with Jordin Sparks getting the bronze with a mere 7%. I think US Weekly should have it be between 40 people, just to make it more mathematically interesting.
*The Feud of the Week is between Donald Trump and Jerry Seinfeld. Jerry refused to perform at Donald’s son’s charity gala. I don’t think there’s a bigger asshole than Donald Trump in NYC right now, but this is his son! And it’s for charity. And yet, I’m on Jerry’s side.
* Hey, do you have a body part that you hate? You’re not alone! Stars hate your body parts, too! What? Oh, they hate their own. Gwynneth Paltrow hates her “long, square butt.” And Angelina hates her lips. Poor thing.
* 53% of US readers don’t think that Lindsay Lohan should play Victoria Gotti. I don’t know why.
* Stars They’re Just Like US! Look at Halle Berry, feeding a parking meter like a mortal! And Leighton Meester walking her dog. And not on water, either! Whoa, is that Ryan Philippe using his cell phone?!
* The cover story is about Khloe Kardashian being tortured for her weight! Even by her mom! I can’t bring myself to care about this story at all. Unless her mom was waterboarding her, of course. Then I’ll be all over it.
* The Twilight kids filmed a honeymoon scene. And there’s a photo of Kristen Stewart smoking. I guess she’s waiting for the studies on smoking to come in more conclusively.
* Adulterers LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian got married. Mazel Tov to the happy couple. I’m fuming because they chose “I Got You Babe” as their song and that was MY SONG WITH HUSBANDRINKA.
* Secrets of the Bride: A source confides to having seen a pack of Camel Lights in Kate’s purse. OMG. I always thought she was a Marlboro Reds kind of commoner. Also, and please prepare yourself, but apparently Kate is known to recycle her look. She’s been photographed wearing the same jacket on four separate occasions. Thanks for stealing my fashion secret, Kate!
* Just as I was becoming nervous that this would be the one issue of US Weekly where I didn’t see a photograph of pregnant Hate Kudson (fine. Kate Hudson), there’s a Q&A with her about her New Baby Bliss. Please don’t confuse it with her Old Baby Inertia.
That’s all I got from US Weekly this week!
What caught your eye?