Question

by Marinka on June 8, 2011

Mom, I want to know something but I don’t want to ask you.

You can ask me anything, Young Ladrinka.

It’s private.

That’s ok.

It’s embarrassing.

Would you rather ask Dad?

No. It’s about that puberty talk we had at school.

I will tell you anything that you want to know.

Ok, forget it.

Ok.

Well, is it true that if you have two kids, it means you had to do it more than once?

Yes.

Oh my god.

Except if you have twins. Then, once is enough.

But that’s really unusual.

Yes.

* * *

What I didn’t tell Young Ladrinka is that because he was difficult to conceive (remind me to put him in a huge time out for that) I had to do it many times.

I’m saving that story for his birthday present. As a surprise.

_______________________
I’m over at The Mouthy Housewives today, advising a woman whose husband acts like a giant baby and won’t take responsibility for his own health and well-being. Please check it out!

One year ago ...

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{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }

Halala Mama
Twitter:
June 8, 2011 at 5:25 pm

What kind of wrapping paper do you use for the type of surprise? 🙂 Pictures of people doin’ it? A 9 year old vomiting?

Reply

Issa
Twitter:
June 8, 2011 at 5:30 pm

Oh I just love these types of questions. Hehe.

I told my kid the other day, well there are three of you and there was the baby I lost and then the time you caught us wrestling… Yeah, somehow that was all she needed to run away and hide from me.

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Issa
Twitter:
June 8, 2011 at 5:32 pm

Also I just read that post and I’m laughing so hard I am crying.

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Megan June 8, 2011 at 5:47 pm

If you weren’t already married, I’d propose. Of course neither of us are gay so we could totally date other people. But you get the idea.

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christy June 8, 2011 at 7:00 pm

I’m shaking with silent laughter Marinka. Those last lines just about killed me. FREAKING hysterical! Brilliant! Encore, please! xo

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A Mommy in the City
Twitter:
June 8, 2011 at 8:14 pm

Haha! I think you should tell that story at his wedding! 😉

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Holly June 8, 2011 at 9:03 pm

It’s funny how when you’re young you hope you don’t have to do it to have babies and when you are older you hope doin’ it doesn’t give you babies. Life.

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kimberly June 8, 2011 at 9:09 pm

He is a treasure.

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anna see June 8, 2011 at 9:41 pm

Oh my yes. Enjoy this.

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Wendy June 8, 2011 at 9:41 pm

That was GRRREAT! 🙂 How precious (and embarrassing)!

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Alison@Mama Wants This
Twitter:
June 9, 2011 at 12:12 am

Yee haw! (is that how you spell it)

Not for the first time, I wish I was a fly on the wall in your house.

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bleu June 9, 2011 at 12:29 am

That was funny–and even more funny if you went further with his conception. LOL.

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Alexandra
Twitter:
June 9, 2011 at 1:22 am

Bwwaahahhahaha!

” I had to do it many times.”

That one? I am using, somehow, someway, I WILL create a segue into that comment.

Reply

Kim
Twitter:
June 9, 2011 at 6:26 am

I remember looking at my parents as a kid and thinking “There is NO WAY they actually….did….THAT…” then wanting to burn my brain for the realization that yes, they actually did.

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Tea
Twitter:
June 9, 2011 at 7:01 am

I only wish my parents would have had the conversations with me you have with your kids!

Reply

tracy
Twitter:
June 9, 2011 at 7:04 am

“Then once is enough.”

Oh you are brilliant. You can come over and have the talk with my kids anytime.

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Becky Rice
Twitter:
June 9, 2011 at 7:16 am

Be grateful he’s still at the stage when “it” is ew/yucko. But thanks for the early morning giggle. I’m not looking forward to the very same conversation with my own 9 year old son…which I’m sure will be soon.

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From Belgium June 9, 2011 at 7:50 am

Oh this is precious.

Reply

By Word of Mouth Musings
Twitter:
June 9, 2011 at 7:53 am

now there is a conversation for him to take back to the playground and dissect with his friends …

Reply

MommyTime
Twitter:
June 9, 2011 at 8:46 am

LOVE this. Can’t wait for these conversations at my house. (Though I’m not sure I’m quite as capable of the witty rejoinder as you are…)

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Lynn MacDonald (All Fooked Up)
Twitter:
June 9, 2011 at 10:10 am

yuck…it’s always an awful moment when you realize that your parents had sex. It’s even worse when you find out THEY STILL DO!

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awesome dude June 9, 2011 at 10:19 am

I believe that I should speak to him about recreational sex, he seems to be old enough for that.

Reply

the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
June 9, 2011 at 10:33 am

Tell him that if you have a really hard time conceiving, then you don’t even have to have sex. You just have to give a fertility clinic a lot of money.

Reply

Twinisms June 9, 2011 at 11:00 am

Hahaha! I remember having a conversation like this when my daughter was about 7. She really thought I only did it once, to get her and her twin brother. Poor kid was so disgusted when she realized otherwise!

Reply

Lady Jennie June 9, 2011 at 1:18 pm

ha ha ha ha ha ha

Reply

Meredith L.
Twitter:
June 9, 2011 at 1:55 pm

On one of our recent visits to Miami to see my parents my 2 1/2-year old was watching his favorite train movie. Some fireworks came on the screen.

With ALL OF US THERE IN THE ROOM, my dad commented TO HIS 2 1/2-YEAR OLD GRANDSON:
“Those are fireworks. That’s what your mommy and daddy saw when they made you.”

And they wonder why I’m in therapy.

Reply

elizabeth-flourish in progress
Twitter:
June 9, 2011 at 2:14 pm

i wish my parents had given me such a thoughtful gift.

Reply

anymommy June 9, 2011 at 4:30 pm

Killer ending. Please, please share it with us when you share that news with him!

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Kara June 9, 2011 at 5:12 pm

Parents having sex! Ewwww!

Reply

Peajaye
Twitter:
June 9, 2011 at 5:15 pm

Look, if you’re trying to turn him gay, you’re gonna hafta do a lot better than that. Maybe get him hooked on one of The Real Housewives shows. Or pretend you’re taking him to see a Mets game, but get off the subway in Brooklyn and go see a ballet at BAM instead.

Reply

Beth June 9, 2011 at 6:13 pm

Could you come and teach sex ed at my school?

Reply

Ilana
Twitter:
June 10, 2011 at 1:51 am

I will pray for him and his Young Ladrinka ears.

Reply

Sophie June 10, 2011 at 8:12 am

I’m rolling on the floor here. Also, I’d have a talk with the awesome dude, if I were you.

Reply

dusty earth mother June 10, 2011 at 1:15 pm

You are such a good gift giver. So thoughtful.

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Penbleth
Twitter:
June 10, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Heh! You naughty Mummy, doing it at all never mind more than once. Do you want to scar your children?

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Mwa (Lost in Translation) June 10, 2011 at 5:23 pm

He’s such a lucky boy.

Reply

elena
Twitter:
June 13, 2011 at 1:04 pm

That surprise to him would definitely be the gift that keeps on giving!

Reply

Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him
Twitter:
June 15, 2011 at 11:37 pm

Does he get the mechanics of ‘do it’. Yikes. 9 and he knows everything about everything.

That present will explode his brain.

Reply

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