Read This Now

by Marinka on January 30, 2011

I had all sort of poignant commentary about this piece, but I’ll save it.

But it’s important that you read it now. It’s written by a man who was raped as a child. And it’s important. Truly.

And here’s the link to the reading on NPR’s This American Life.

Thank you to my friend and gold level commenter on this blog Peajaye for sending me the links.

One year ago ...

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{ 1 trackback }

Chim-Chim-Chera - A Lady In France
February 1, 2011 at 9:25 am

{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

magpie January 30, 2011 at 11:09 am

Oof. That’s some powerful shit.


January 30, 2011 at 11:12 am

Dear God. What a harrowing, horrifying story. I want to wrap my son in bubble wrap and forbid him to leave the house, and never let anyone in, either.


Halala Mama
January 30, 2011 at 11:25 am

I couldn’t make it past page two. I echo Catherine’s sentiment about bubble wrap, but somehow that doesn’t ever seem like enough…..


Awesome dude January 30, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Children care calls for a lot of supervision and interaction and that means minute to minute, before and after school.

I have seen situations that are much worse.


Lady Jennie January 30, 2011 at 2:52 pm

woah. sick. sad …


ChiTown Girl January 30, 2011 at 4:54 pm

oh my hell. this was hard to read.


Renee January 30, 2011 at 5:53 pm

I feel so sick inside…I have a 6.5 year old boy, and I never want to let him out of the house again. I’m actually almost sorry he didn’t shoot the motherf*&ker!


Marinka January 30, 2011 at 6:12 pm

This was hard to read for me too. My heart breaks for that little boy and for the man he became and for his parents, because let’s face it, they did nothing wrong.

They took their son to their friends’ house, while they were there too. Who among us has NOT done that?

But I strongly believe that the “bubble” that so many of us want to reach for out of protective instinct is not going to help. Because of course there are no bubbles. And we cannot watch our children every minute.

People who hurt children are everywhere. They are priests and doctors and teachers and our best friends. We need to talk to our children about it, we need to educate them about their bodies (using proper terminology) and we need to be vigilant. And we need to stop thinking that we know what a pedophile looks like. Because most of the time, we have no idea.


January 30, 2011 at 8:14 pm

That was a hard read. And I agree with you Marinka, you cannot bubble wrap your children. Though I do believe that man that raped David raped other kids too. And probably still does.


January 30, 2011 at 8:37 pm

I think just by shedding light on this, the cockroaches – who prey on both our sons and daughters – scatter. Once we name what’s going on, the predators can’t use the weapons of shame and fear to manipulate “polite society” to their advantage.

I think it’s also interesting that in the article – it’s the mother’s love and action that eventually diffuses the violence and brings a sad situation to its best possible end. I think it’s a powerful metaphor and particularly relevant to the mommy-blogosphere.


January 30, 2011 at 10:49 pm

Oprah had a special this season- 200 men who had been molested as children. She quoted the statistic 1 in 4 boys. It’s mind boggling. Especially since conventional wisdom says that girls are more vulnerable. Education is most definitely the key- teaching children how to react in these situations and always to come forward so it can be addressed immediately. Also, removing the stigma. It’s heartbreaking to read victim accounts of lifelong fear and shame.


From Belgium January 31, 2011 at 3:45 am

Oh my….


anna see January 31, 2011 at 9:31 am

Thank you for sharing this. So very, very sad. And you are correct, this could have happened to any of our children.

I just read “Protecting the Gift,” an excellent book that deals with keeping our kids safe.


dusty earth mother January 31, 2011 at 10:10 am

I can’t stop crying.


Lorette Lavine
January 31, 2011 at 4:30 pm

We need to be vigilant about who our child spends time with…we need to talk to our children as soon as they know what a “bad kind of touch” is. It is the only way we can hope to prevent other stories like this one.
What a sad, sad story.


CSY February 2, 2011 at 2:42 pm

That was VERY hard to read, but I understand what he’s going thru. I am a survivor of child rape myself. When I had my daughter, I cried. Not because of the joyous occasion – but because I was scared for her because the Boogeyman is NOT ugly or scary looking, he looks normal. I’ve taken EVERY precaution (EXCEPT locking them all in a tower) I can to make sure my children KNOW what’s ok and what’s not. Keeping ANYTHING harmful from your parents hurts the child even more. I’ve told my children I don’t care if someone threatens to kill me, if someone has hurt them – I NEED to know. If not me, a teacher or other adult they TRUST. Thank you for sharing this story, Marinka. I’m sorry if I’ve brought anyone down with my comment.


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