Safe and (Mostly) Sound

by Marinka on October 30, 2012

Greetings, y’all! It’s me, Marinka! And I’m just fixin’ to tell y’all that I made it through that there Hurricane Sandy in one piece! Whooooo-hoooooooo! Chevy Trucks! Longhorns! Where my boots at, gurl? I gots to go do some ropin’ down at the rodeo with Cletus! GOD BLESS TEXAS, MOFOS!

Okay, fine, some of you smarter ones have maybe figured out that this isn’t actually Marinka. It’s Wendi Aarons coming to you live from Austin, Texas where we didn’t have gale force winds, heavy rains and power outages like Marinka’s family and millions of others did yesterday due to Superstorm Sandy. (Which is just slightly less scary than a Superstorm SanDeE, am I right or am I right? Raise your hand if you’ve seen LA Story!)

Anyway, please rest assured that, despite Husbandrinka stealing her “hurricane snacks,” Marinka is doing fine. And thankfully, so are Kelcey and Karen and Stacy and Shari and so many of our other friends in New York who we’ve been checking in with via Twitter, email, Facebook and texting. Say what you will about social media, but it’s really helped put our minds at ease. Like when my husband asked me if Marinka was okay this morning, I just showed him the tweet she’d sent calling people who post fake hurricane photos “fucking assholes” and we knew all was status quo-ish because she was talking like a real lady.

Unfortunately, Madame M still doesn’t have any power, which is why she texted me her blog log-in and password this morning. Which I will not abuse. No, I will not! Not even when she puts me on Double Secret Friendship Probation for some bullshit trumped up charge like she does at least once a month. Or when she sends me a PayPal invoice for using her catchphrase. Or when she makes fun of my white noise machine. Or when I use the word “whilst” and she replies, “Easy with the big words there, Texas.” Or when she….you know what? FUCK IT. I’m totally going to abuse my access to her blog. Mama didn’t raise no morons. And what better way to do said abuse than with a hot little genius I like to call Mr. Barry Manilow?

So this is dedicated to Marinka, Kelcey, Karen, Stacy, Shari and all of our friends who made it through the rain. We’re beyond relieved that you did. — Wendi

One year ago ...

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{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }

ColdBlooded
Twitter:
October 30, 2012 at 12:26 pm

You guys are hilarious. Glad everyone is safe.

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Bonnie B. October 30, 2012 at 12:35 pm

*Raising hand* I LOVED the movie “L.A. Story” and the character of SanDeE! Such a great movie and I haven’t seen it in SO long, I’m gonna have to rent that one and……oh……..what? There was a storm of some kind? Seriously????

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Bonnie B. October 30, 2012 at 12:36 pm

(P.S. – happy to hear everyone is safe & sound!)

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Megan October 30, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Oh, this is awesome… also? *raises hand* Loved “LA Story” so much I almost wanted to get a high colonic. Almost.

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LIl
Twitter:
October 30, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Maaarinkaaaaaaaaa…..

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Mexmom October 30, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Glad to know everyone is ok, specially Wendi in TX of course.

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anna see October 30, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Whew! Tbanks for the hilarious update!

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Laurie
Twitter:
October 30, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Yeehaw, motherfuckers.

Blog password swappage

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Laurie
Twitter:
October 30, 2012 at 2:04 pm

(Dumb phone!)

Blog password swappage is a big deal. Brings a tear to my eye. Glad our NYC friends are safe. When Marinka got nervous, I got really nervous. Thanks A LOT, Marinka. Like I need any help with this.

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Alexandra October 30, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Yes.

Marinka was serious for the first time on twitter, and I never want to see that again.

Turned my blood to ice. (and not in a bad ass way)

Now my new concern: I haven’t heard from mommyshorts. Tweeted and tweeted and nothing.

Have you heard anything, marinka???

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Alexandra October 30, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Also, I’m kinda excited that WA has blog passwordage.

::eagerly rubs hands together::

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Momo Fali
Twitter:
October 30, 2012 at 3:18 pm

This is awesome. Aarons, I can bribe.

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annie October 30, 2012 at 3:35 pm

YAY! Thanks for the update. So glad everyone is safe, if powerless!

Now, back to you Barry.

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suburbancorrespondent
Twitter:
October 30, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Oh, this is awesome. Thank you. Between Barry and Billy Joel, we had this storm covered (musically speaking, that is).

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Vikki October 30, 2012 at 6:02 pm

My answer to every question asked of me for the next day is going to be “Where my boots at, gurl?”

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tracy@sellabitmum
Twitter:
October 30, 2012 at 7:15 pm

You really need to make it Barry Manilow ALL the time on here. I promise she will never notice.

So glad she is safe. xoxo

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gd October 30, 2012 at 9:09 pm

thanks for the update, wendi. yea, go for the password abuse angle. but remember that marinka will have your back in the event of a texas tornado.

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the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
October 30, 2012 at 10:01 pm

I just hand embroidered a pillow that says “Never give your WordPress password to Wendi Aarons.”

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Becky
Twitter:
October 31, 2012 at 8:03 am

So pleased everyone is safe. Except for Marinka’s blog, of course.

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Stacy @bklynstacy
Twitter:
October 31, 2012 at 10:29 am

Now, let’s not get all worried about Marinka. Clearly, she’s fine. Or, NOT FINE, in her Marinka way, I should say. Proof: She went to THE TIMES SQUARE TOYS R US yesterday. ?!?!? And was surprised it was closed. !?!?! Wendi, get comfy. I think this is your house now. (Also, Kelcey, can I have one of those pillows?)

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joeinvegas October 31, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Wow, you sound a lot like her. At least I can’t hear the difference in the accents from here.

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marathonmom October 31, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Wow Wendi, what did she pay you to blog for her? SHE needs to be on blog friend probation because those upper crust east coast beeches STOLE OUR HURRICANE! You know, the one that would have busted the high pressure system that gave us boob sweat for the last 9 months?????

Glad everyone is A-OK !!!

Hugs to M-ka….try not to kill H-ka….

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The Flying Chalupa
Twitter:
October 31, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Hurricane Wendi has flooded Marinka’s blog! Okay, I’m going to stop. Glad everyone except the snacks is okay.

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Marta
Twitter:
November 1, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Love it. Glad everyone’s safe. Also, are you really sure that’s all you want to do with full access to her blog? I mean think of all the pranks you could play! You’re a much better friend than I clearly!

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Lady Jennie November 3, 2012 at 11:39 am

No way. This is too funny (I mean abusive). Barry Manilow? I still remember his curly blond hair and the open shiny shirt.

We usually stay at Shari’s when we come to the States (all 5 of us) so it was lucky we pushed our visit back to August this year. Who knows when the waters will recede. And Marinka – I see a post on 11th floor, which I can only guess has to do with electricity? We were on the 9th floor when there was a weekend power outage in 2003 and I had to climb it after walking from 42nd to BPC. And I was pregnant. (Heave Ho).

Off to read.

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