The Whole Charlie Sheen Thing

by Marinka on October 30, 2010

I don’t know about you, but this Yemen-printer-cartridge-explosive-device-international-terror-alert shit is the last thing I need right now.

Because I’m still trying to recover from the whole Charlie Sheen thing.

And if you don’t know what I mean by the whole Charlie Sheen thing, then I really can’t help you. I can lead you to water, but I can’t make you drink from the fountain of wisdom, if you know what I mean.

Here are the questions that I have about the whole Charlie Sheen thing.

Why is Charlie Sheen allergic to cocaine?

Why was he in New York with his ex-wife and daughters, staying across the hall from each other at the Plaza? (I posed this question to Husbandrinka and he said that he didn’t find it that unusual. Admittedly, there are more alarming aspects of The Whole Charlie Sheen Thing, but still.)

Why the woman who he was going to pay $12,000 for sex claims that she is a porn star and not a prostitute and not an escort?

How did they agree on $12,000? Was it like “It’s $15,000, but if you pay cash, I’ll knock off $3k?”

Who the hell has $12,000 in his wallet?

Why doesn’t Charlie Sheen get mugged on a regular basis?

Is my mama the only one who enjoys watching Two and a Half Men?

The pornographic thespian that was in the room with Charlie Sheen has the following stage names: Capri Anderson, Alexis Capri, Stella Costanza and Capri Nubiles. Can you spot one that doesn’t belong? Was she trying to pass as George Costanza’s sister or something?

One year ago ...

0saves
If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the RSS feed.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

Melissa
Twitter:
October 30, 2010 at 3:08 pm

I know someone is going to throw the ball that puts me in the dunk tank, but I LIKE Charlie Sheen. I feel badly for him because he is obviously sad though. But he is talented and personable. The fact that his ex-wife still vacations with him (but protects the kids as well) is proof that he is a good guy at heart.

Plus I love Two and a Half Men.

Reply

Maria from nj October 30, 2010 at 4:36 pm

Sheen has more issues than Playboy magazine. But as long as Hollywood (and TV viewers) keep putting him on a cash pedestal this behavior will continue. They all just need to fess up to his addictions (alcohol, drugs and sex) and stop giving him press time. Only ones I feel sorry for are his kids. Some example of a human being he is.

Reply

GrandeMocha
Twitter:
October 31, 2010 at 10:02 pm

Love this “Sheen has more issues than Playboy magazine. ” That is an awesome line!

Reply

Wendi
Twitter:
October 30, 2010 at 5:57 pm

He’s a really bad, woman-hitting guy. But I’m sure ABC will give him yet another raise after this blows over.

Reply

Awesome dude October 30, 2010 at 7:45 pm

Who are we to decide whos services are worth what on this market of “Plaza prepay-ed love”?

At that point of his life it was worth that much to him, and then he had the cash or some other instrument to settle the bill.

having your children next door looks strange, but again stranger stuff happens.

The whole thing looks like publicity stint.

I do not feel that he is a good actor. He has one routine that never changes.

Reply

K-Line October 30, 2010 at 9:12 pm

It’s a truly bizarre tale. I agree, the whole travelling with your ex-wife (who you tortured during the divorce) and kids while you lock up some hooker/porn star/escort in your hotel room, is truly nuts. Would you not exercise discretion on that occasion, if no other??

Reply

MYSUESTORIES October 30, 2010 at 10:32 pm

And yet, if he was paying her $12,000, would she really try to steal his $700 phone? I would say “Book him, Danno”…but, ya know, THAT would be in bad taste…..I would hate to soil that clean Charlie Sheen image…..

Reply

Donna October 31, 2010 at 3:09 am

See, these are the kinds of hard-hitting news stories I miss out on, living overseas. Thanks for keeping me up-to-date.

Reply

Nadine October 31, 2010 at 3:22 am

My mom loves two and a half men too. We watched it almost daily when we were together last holidays. It made her happy. I had pounds of homemade fudge … so, all was good. I’m just wondering: How big does a wallet have to be to have 12,000$ in it? That is a 120-100$ bills.

Reply

Peajaye
Twitter:
October 31, 2010 at 8:38 am

I know it’s politically incorrect, but this is what happens when we allow straight people to marry.

Reply

alexandra
Twitter:
October 31, 2010 at 1:02 pm

Strange the things people do for money.

Charlie needs so much help, I don’t care what people think about it: he can’t be happy living to largess like this.

Who could. We all need peace and quiet.

And the alienation with the children…he needs to be locked up on a small, quiet farm somewhere and realize, that is much better than the constant coked up craziness.

Love it when Papa sneaks on here: his comments are solid gold to me.

Reply

Miss Cavendish October 31, 2010 at 1:15 pm

When I saw the HuffPost headline about CS being found nude in a NYC restaurant (before being found nude in his hotel room), things turned truly surreal. I began imagining fake New Yorker-story headlines like “Charlie Sheen found nude in pumpkin patch!” “Charlie Sheen found nude in Starbucks!” Seriously, how many places can this lad be found nude?

Reply

GrandeMocha
Twitter:
October 31, 2010 at 10:00 pm

Please find out what you have to do for $12,ooo. Ever since Elliot Spitzer , I have been trying to find out. I don’t make $12K a night. Maybe I’d be willing. Maybe I wouldn’t do it for $1 million.

Reply

Deb Rox
Twitter:
November 1, 2010 at 6:27 pm

I think the whole Plaza gig would make a better premise for a show than 2.5 Men. So let’s say Denise, the girls, Capri and Charlie live at the Plaza full-time. His mom from 2.5 men and the kid can visit on some episodes, but not his whiny brother. Plus maybe monkey bellmen. It will be sort of like The Marx Brothers plus Fawlty Towers, but with blow and whores. And monkeys.

Reply

Alexandria
Twitter:
November 1, 2010 at 7:32 pm

I watch Two and a half men. It’s stupid. But I can’t look away.

And I nearly peed I laughed so hard at the “what does not belong” part.

Reply

Issa
Twitter:
November 2, 2010 at 5:06 pm

Now tons of people are starting to re-watch Two and a Half Men, just because we all now know, his character is the real him. ha.

Reply

Abbey November 2, 2010 at 9:34 pm

Gotta say, there’s been quite a bit of inflation since Pretty Woman if there’s even a negotiation down to $12k. At that price, I wonder if she accepts credit cards…at least he’d get some air miles.

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: