I’m all about trying new and fun things so on New Year’s Day I told my husband that I thought he made social faux pas at a recent dinner party. Obviously he was excited to hear this news and begged me to give him an example. Luckily, I had one at the ready.
When Husbandrinka met a man named Travis at the party, he said “Travis, huh? Isn’t that Robert DeNiro’s character in Taxi Driver? The psycho? Yeah, whenever I hear Travis, I think psycho! Anyway, good to meet you!, Travis!”
I pointed out that saying this within moments of meeting someone probably makes that person uncomfortable and if they’re named Travis like a psycho, chances are that they will snap.
You’d think Husbandrinka would thank me for my wisdom and guidance, but he just shook his head and said that I had no sense of irony and that I took everything too literally and some other nonsense that I stopped listening to because by this time Law & Order: SVU was on and it was the one about the severed leg. Disgusting yet compelling. Also, Steve from Sex and the City was the killer, so if you meet any people named Steve, you should probably steer clear of them.
Later that evening a friend of mine came over, and while we were having some wine, I told her that Husbandrinka and I had a disagreement. And instead of saying something useful like “I’ll pray for your marriage” she said “oh good! tell me!” (This could be why we’re friends.)
And I did, but instead of telling her who said what, I did the I’m Right, You’re Wrong thing and told her that one of us said this thing to Travis and asked her if it was “funny or weird” and even though I opened my eyes really wide when I said “weird” and nodded maniacally to signal to her how she should respond, she said “totally funny.”
Needless to say, she’s on friendship probation, especially because Husbandrinka overheard this and was all “see?” and then turned to her and complained that “it’s so hard being married to someone so socially awkward.”
And that’s when she sprung into action and said things like “oh, Marinka is not socially awkward, she had many friends!” and he said “I have more friends than Marinka!” and then my ex-friend who was starting to get the same look on her face that the patients on American Horror Story 2: The Asylum do when they realize there is no way out of the place, said “you both have lots of friends. It’s really nice.”
And yes, it was very nice. Especially when I said to Husbandrinka that maybe he should give me tips on how to be less socially awkward and he said yes, he will definitely do that.
Which is good news for everyone.
Because in addition to giving me tips to ease my social awkwardness, Husbandrinka will be giving me the gift of blog fodder. And possible justification for manslaughter.
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Great news! And by that I mean “great” “news”! I updated my 2013 Reading List with more books and the first review of 2013. Please check it out.
One year ago ...
- The Power of Blogging - 2011
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Just be sure to keep documentation, it always (usually (sometimes)) helps with the defense.
Twitter: Peajaye
January 4, 2013 at 9:41 pm
I think you left out the part where Travis backed away from Husbandrinka and immediately googled “restraining order” on his smart phone, no?
Criminal assault and battery at the very least. I think you should take ex-friend off of probation though. It was entrapment.
Twitter: gonnakillhim
January 5, 2013 at 10:38 pm
I know to just say to you, “Oh Marinka – like a supermodel.” Nothing else. Or you’ll kill me, like a psychopath.
Recently I had to work for and help to one of the very famous doctors, and since my help was in part physical I kept telling him stuff like: Do not worry, we will do it…etc and I had done it for a few times.
On the third time he said: When I hear a Russian person asking me not to worry, I start worrying immediately…….
I learned later the very same day that he spent years in the city of Leningrad trying to get a fellowship at the very prestigious medical institution and never succeeded.
So, you have to become a mini Sigmund Freud or Carl Young to function around this city.
Do not worry, the best is yet to come.
Twitter: Mamabirddiaries
January 6, 2013 at 9:35 pm
And to think Travis was my top baby name.
I do hope you share Husbandrinka’s tips with us.