Stomach Ache

by Marinka on March 22, 2011

Marinka: I have a stomach ache. I will probably die.

Husbandrinka: What do you think it is?

Marinka: It feels like the fat in my stomach is fighting the alcohol in my stomach and it’s a bitter battle.

Husbandrinka: You think you have cancer, don’t you.

Marinka: Just a touch, yes.

____________________

Also! even though I was going to post this exchange this morning, right before I did, I read Finslippy‘s post. So now I feel like I’m copy pants. I mean, copy breasts.

One year ago ...

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{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }

Awesome dude March 22, 2011 at 12:37 pm

HA stands for Hypochondriac anonymous.

Please guess what HAHA stands for……..

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Loukia March 22, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Do you realize I think I am dying almost daily, too? Any pain I have is something terrible. It’s so much worrying all the time! Left arm pain – heart attack. Slight quiver in my calf – blood clot traveling to my brain. Headache – tumor. Sigh. No wonder I’m crazy. I wish I lived with a doctor and an MRI machine. Seriously.

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Loukia March 22, 2011 at 12:48 pm

So much FUN worrying all the time. See, I forgort a word, and now I’m REALLY worried about my head.

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magpie March 22, 2011 at 1:50 pm

In the past few days, I’ve been convinced I have cancer, tendonitis, MS and ALS.

And tinnitus, but that’s because there are UNION PROTESTERS on the corner BLOWING WHISTLES.

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Lady Jennie March 22, 2011 at 4:04 pm

I love your domestic conversations. Very funny and so endearing. (Sounds like ours minus the funny).

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Kati
Twitter:
March 22, 2011 at 4:44 pm

I can’t believe none of you believe Marinka. Now she will probably die of a broken heart. Or stubbed toe.
Either way, her headstone will surely read “See? Told you I was sick!”
and you will all have to live with your guilt FOREVER.

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Mwa (Lost in Translation) March 22, 2011 at 5:40 pm

Dammit! I knew it! Me too!

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alexandra
Twitter:
March 22, 2011 at 6:33 pm

I have hypochondria..but only about my children.

I think I’m invincible.

Them, on the other hand? I just stay away from WebMD when it comes to them.

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Leadia@TheBreeder'sDigest March 22, 2011 at 6:53 pm

This is why I’m canceling all other publications and sticking with US. I got my Redbook the other day and was convinced I had their disease du jour (or du month…I don’t speak French). I have to take issue with those articles though, because every single “The Dangerous Health Issue You Didn’t Know You Had!!!” blurb has the same diagnostic checklist: Are you tired? Are you always hungry? Are you irritable? Do you wish you were a size 6 on a regular basis?
So far, based on my my armchair diagnoses, I have a life expectancy of approximately 3 more days.

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the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
March 22, 2011 at 8:05 pm

I absolutely know that you did not copy finslippy. You are a hypochondriac at heart.

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Rima
Twitter:
March 22, 2011 at 10:22 pm

I went for a physical last week and asked my doctor if I was dying. She said, “We are all dying slowly every day.”

I can’t decide if I love or hate her.

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annie March 22, 2011 at 11:04 pm

I had a stomache for days and the ‘c’ word never crossed my mind. Hmmm…..
I think that means you’ll be fine. If you worry about it, it doesn’t happen. xoxo my friend

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Sherri
Twitter:
March 22, 2011 at 11:52 pm

When the fat and the alcohol fight? It’s just wrong…two wonderful things that should just get along, dammit.

But I always think it’s something more sinister, too.

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The Flying Chalupa
Twitter:
March 23, 2011 at 1:01 am

A glass half full is decidedly not funny. And this is why I love you.

PS – I’m really rooting for you to beat this.

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Alice March 23, 2011 at 10:54 am

As long as you don’t touch chest pain. CHEST PAIN IS TOTALLY MINE.

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Lynn MacDonald (All Fooked Up)
Twitter:
March 23, 2011 at 12:56 pm

well, i don’t read finslippy so i don’t know if you copied or not…

but i’m not sure those are cancer symptoms…
but it sounds like your hubby is awesome

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dusty earth mother March 23, 2011 at 2:04 pm

The fat in my stomach is fighting the fat in my thighs. No one will win. And I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, don’t die. Of C or any other letter ailment. What would the world be without your pale loveliness?

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Homschlr4ever
Twitter:
March 23, 2011 at 4:45 pm

You sound like my daughter. It’s like coming home, only in your scenario I would be the husband. God forbid that she would miss any updates on WebMD.
But.., you are so much more fun to read than listening to E describe her newest disease. Wait, rewind, you made me laugh. Thanks.

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Ilana
Twitter:
March 24, 2011 at 12:42 am

I hope the alcohol and the fat start playing nicely by tomorrow morning. Sleep well!

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Brittany {Mommy Words}
Twitter:
March 24, 2011 at 7:55 pm

Ugh. After losing my sense of taste and smell last week and realizing that I could still taste wine I remembered my mother telling me that her friend with brain cancer had those same things. The cancer took her taste and smell. I had a total frak out moment and went to the doctor thinking cancer, cancer , cancer. Nope…but I am a grownup with a freaking ear infection!

Hope you feel better!

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anymommy March 25, 2011 at 1:32 am

Only you could have a touch of cancer. I hope the worst is over.

Reply

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