The Time Has Come

by Marinka on December 20, 2008

I don’t know about you, but I think that whoever came up with the term “mucus plug” needs to be tried as a war criminal and possibly deported. Because that name just sucks. And I think that the time has come for a new, revamped name. I mean if the luxurious sounding chlamydia is a name for a venereal disease, shouldn’t something that is part of the miracle of birth have a lovelier term attached to it? Or at least a less nauseating one?

I propose laboria.

The bonus is that it sounds like labia, so when a woman says “I lost my laboria,” there is always a slight and exciting possibility that someone will misunderstand and think that she is missing genitals. I see this as a win-win proposition. And possibly my qualification for the Nobel Prize in Language Development.

Yeah, I know. Not all blog posts are created equal.

One year ago ...

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{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }

derfina December 20, 2008 at 10:07 am

I second the motion. Nothing like telling your child she was preceded into the world by a plummish looking snotball.

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Renée aka Mekhismom December 20, 2008 at 10:22 am

I am going to stop commenting here because I am too redundant. For the last time – you are hilarious!

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Heather December 20, 2008 at 10:37 am

OMG! That is the perfect name for it. I agree mucus plug sounds disgusting. Boogers could become mucus plugs – that seems more appropriate.

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Jeanne December 20, 2008 at 10:57 am

So my question is, would you pronounce it “lab-OR-ia,” or “labor-ee-a” to rhyme with gonorrhea?

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Wendy December 20, 2008 at 12:53 pm

Wait!

I hate to ask, but…

What IS a mucus plug?

Please don’t make me Google. From the sounds of it, I might faint.

Sincerely,
Childless in Vermont

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Ann's Rants December 20, 2008 at 1:05 pm

How about Birthday Bullet?

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Paula December 20, 2008 at 3:52 pm

You? Are BRILLIANT.
That is all.

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Abbey December 20, 2008 at 4:13 pm

I guess I’m with Wendy. My initial assumption was that a mucus plug was nose-related. I’m guessing I was wrong. Also, not googling…don’t want someone borrowing my computer to see past searches and think there’s something I’m not telling them.

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Heinous December 20, 2008 at 4:18 pm

Birthday bullet freaking rocks! I’m for that.

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silvergirl December 20, 2008 at 5:03 pm

I am also childless and am not familiar with the mucus plug, but I think I’ve pieced it together from your post. I will not google to investigate further, though, because last time I did that was the unfortunate day I learned what an episiotemy was, and I haven’t been the same since.

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Tara December 20, 2008 at 6:06 pm

I think a lot of the names of female reproductive parts are screwy. Fallopian tubes? Uterus? Clitoris, anyone?

Tara
http://theyoungmommylife.com

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*Akilah Sakai* December 20, 2008 at 6:25 pm

Google it ladies! Don’t worry, it’s just a part of labor and delivery so no Feds will rush your house and seize your laptops. LOL!

Hey, how about CORK?
People love “popping corks” at parties and having a baby is just as special as you “pop” it out.

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Temple December 20, 2008 at 7:47 pm

We girls tend to get the more gross sounding anatomy words…I’ve really never gotten over learning about the “vulva” in Junior High sex ed and then realizing they were not referring to a masterpiece of European automobile engineering…still creeps me out.

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Tooj December 20, 2008 at 8:00 pm

Ladies…ladies…mucus plug…”The mucous plug is a collection of cervical mucus that seals the opening of the cervix”…LOL Keeps that baby IN! Well, sort of. And I’m not sold on that name, but I’ll go with majority. I was fortnate enough to never see either of mine.

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anymommy December 20, 2008 at 8:40 pm

I don’t know. But, plumbish looking snotball should be the official Webster’s definition.

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HappyHourSue December 20, 2008 at 8:44 pm

“baby cork”.

you’re welcome. 🙂

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Marinka December 20, 2008 at 8:56 pm

What is wrong with all of you? What happened to “Marinka, ‘laboria’ is perfect! Let us celebrate with the drinking of champagne!”?!

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withoutarulebook December 20, 2008 at 9:29 pm

But you know.. Mucus Plug… so visual…

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Janie December 20, 2008 at 9:36 pm

Marinka, ‘laboria’ is perfect! Let us celebrate with the drinking of champagne!

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Smalltowngirl December 20, 2008 at 10:15 pm

TO FUNNY! I just have to know what made you think even think about a mucus plug??? I like the idea of a new name- a plug makes it sound like it is a plumbing device…..I like laboria!!!

PS Love your blog- I’ve come over here a few times from anymommyoutthere and enjoy it alot!

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Deb December 21, 2008 at 4:26 am

I’ll drink champagne! We can compare laboria stories.

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Vodka Mom December 21, 2008 at 4:48 am

First of all, who even brought UP the word mucus plug? What the hell were we talking about?

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mo.stoneskin December 21, 2008 at 6:37 am

Or even the Nobel peace prize?

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Cindy December 21, 2008 at 7:15 am

Sounds good to me!
What a lovely opening for the award I gave you. Stop by when you can

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Nilsa December 21, 2008 at 8:14 am

In all fairness to your readers. Who put up with you every day. Who tirelessly leave you comments. I think you should let your readership decide on your new name. That’s the just and right thing to do! Though, I just might vote for Laboria should it wind up in a poll or something.

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Insta-mom December 21, 2008 at 11:00 am

Marinka, “laboria” is perfect! Let us celebrate with the drinking of champagne!

Apparently, I’ll say anything you want me to when you offer booze.

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Kristine December 22, 2008 at 7:17 am

I just wish losing you labroia actually meant something was going to happen, instead of it being – you might go into labor, but then again, you might not. It’s like a bad fortune cookie.

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Z December 22, 2008 at 8:00 am

laughing hysterically over here.

and you reminded me of my story about a wandering labia (yes, really) – which i shared once with a blogger, and now she doesnt talk with me any more. i think i scared her. or something. so, since i like ya, i wont share it with you. but just know, it’s really funny. and sick and perverted, at the same time. and yes, the labia DID wander all on its very own… 😉

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Smartass Milf December 22, 2008 at 9:35 am

I love it! My friend The Whore and I made up a word for an early dinner/late lunch. We call it Dunch. Sounds kind of dirty and way better than Linner. Champagne for everyone!!!

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Jos December 22, 2008 at 1:54 pm

I'm a little late to the game, but oh, I love laboria. MUCH more romantic-sounding than mucous plug & so perfectly suggestive of what is coming down the pike. I must admit that after reading my fill of Ina May Gaskin's pregnancy & birthing books I was very excited to see my plug & be completely at one with my mucousy natural-birthing-womanliness. so I spent a little time looking around for the darn thing until GOOD GRIEF the contractions made me forget all about it. laboria, laboria, yes, indeed.

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heartatpreschool December 22, 2008 at 5:23 pm

I like baby cork. Makes me think of popping champagne!

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