A Holiday Classic

by Marinka on December 19, 2008

Today is the final day of my blog post exchange with Wendi and Jessica. I’ll miss them! Our topic for this week was The Holidays. It’s too complicated to explain why. My post is on Bern This, Jessica’s blog. And here is Wendi’s!

HOW TO MAKE GINGERBREAD MEN

By Wendi Aarons

Step 1: Mix together flour, ginger, baking soda, cinnamon, shortening, butter, sugar and molasses. If out of an ingredient, OK to substitute packets of Splenda stolen from Starbucks.

Step 2: While dough refrigerates for 1 hour, clean kitchen and/or watch “The Real Housewives of Orange County” to see what that cougar Tami is up to this week. Wonder what it’s like to have an immobile top lip.

Step 3: Roll out dough on lightly floured surface. After 20 minutes, finally understand why hillbilly women hit people with rolling pins.

Step 4: Press rolled dough into non-stick Gingerman cookie pan bought at Williams-Sonoma for large amount of money. Quickly realize money would have been better spent on prepackaged cookies. Or schnapps. Sigh and say something nasty about that slut Rachel Ray.

Step 5: Place Gingermen in oven and set timer for 8 minutes. Remove from oven as soon as timer dings or kids ask, “Why is there a black cloud in the kitchen, mommy?”

Step 6: While Gingerpeople cool, scoop store-bought frosting into five different bowls. Pour in food coloring and mix. Frosting is now every color of the rainbow. So are fingertips and cashmere socks.

Step 7: Call boys into kitchen and set them loose on decorating Gingermen. Smile at the lovely Christmas memory in the making and hope cookies will be cute enough to bring to the Preschool Mother’s Holiday social tomorrow.

Step 8: Take a look at finished Gingerbread Men.

Lose all hope.

Step 9: Clean kitchen for 3 hours, including the ceiling, then tell boys they’ve made the freakiest batch of Gingerbread Men you’ve ever seen. But also the best. Sit down in front of roaring fire and bite off heads ’til bedtime.

One year ago ...

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{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }

tz December 19, 2008 at 3:39 am

those gingerbread cookies look like the ones at our house…
I just read your post on anymommy’s and oh my gosh it was funny!

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Cindy December 19, 2008 at 4:34 am

Aaaww Wendi, they did a great job. lol

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Ann's Rants December 19, 2008 at 6:38 am

LOL. Maybe next time we can make gingerbread Ad Execs together…

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Vodka Mom December 19, 2008 at 6:51 am

funny. my recipe calls for vodka.

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hokgardner December 19, 2008 at 7:01 am

Those are the cutest freaky gingermen I’ve ever seen. But I hope that after all your work, you got more than 11 of them.

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WA December 19, 2008 at 7:25 am

I’ll miss you, too! But I’ll still send you obnoxious e-mails, if that makes you feel any better. No?

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Rachel December 19, 2008 at 7:30 am

Cute! Way better than the ones *I* made – which is none 🙁

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iMommy December 19, 2008 at 7:53 am

Man, now I really want Gingerbread men.

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Pare December 19, 2008 at 8:10 am

The eyes, they scare me.

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Jeanne December 19, 2008 at 8:40 am

I have to agree with Pare — those eyes look a little demented. Kind of like mine as Christmas approaches.

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*Akilah Sakai* December 19, 2008 at 9:06 am

Colorful trippy gingerbread men! Trippy…

Are there any ‘shrooms in the recipe?

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Sophie, Inzaburbs December 19, 2008 at 9:23 am

Good job, boys!

Although, who made the gingerbread man with the one red eye and big green boy-parts? That one is seriously disturbing…

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Marinka December 19, 2008 at 9:24 am

Sophie–I’m pretty sure that Wendi made that one.

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Heinous December 19, 2008 at 12:25 pm

Best. G-men. Ever.

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rightonmom December 19, 2008 at 2:37 pm

You can totally tell these were made by boys. Girls would’ve stuck eyelashes, hair,an accessory or two. They’re cute, even if they look like they have skin boils!

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Anna Lefler December 19, 2008 at 2:50 pm

I love baking things (like these gingerdudes) that represent the true meaning of evolution – as in the straggling members of the pack/herd/flock that would IMMEDIATELY be picked off by Mother Nature’s lethal forces.

Do NOT release these into the wild if you ever want to see them again.

XO

A.

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Tracey December 19, 2008 at 4:13 pm

The one with the eyeball in his stomach? That one rocks.

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Femin Susan December 19, 2008 at 5:23 pm

Hi,
Your blog is very creative and colorful. your creations are extremely attractive. How did you cope with such ideas?.. Let your creations reach beyond our imaginations. meet me at my blog.
Wishing you in advance “A Merry X’Mas and A Happy New Year”

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pat December 19, 2008 at 6:07 pm

I loved this post last year…the green balls just do those gingermen justice! Where is my cheese log by the way?

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Michele December 19, 2008 at 7:20 pm

OMG! I just remembered why I stopped making gingerbread cookies. LOL.

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kia (good enough mama) December 19, 2008 at 7:43 pm

The eyes are definitely creepy. How’d you do them? Marshmallows with turds in the middles?

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blognut December 19, 2008 at 8:40 pm

Hey! At least you can tell they’re supposed to be people. My rollout cookies never really look like the cookie cutters, and they ALWAYS look like they were decorated by blind people with hooks for hands. But I say they’re pretty anyway, and I go buy bakery for the dessert tray “because those homemade ones are way too pretty to give away to strangers.”

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Charmaine December 19, 2008 at 11:15 pm

That’s funny. MY recipe calls for wine.

I know, I keep copying Vodka Mom. It’s important to have mentors.

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p.huong December 19, 2008 at 11:46 pm

Aww I wish my mom did that with me. Asian parents and gingerbread cookie making don’t go together.

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Kylie w Warszawie December 23, 2008 at 10:01 am

Love those gingerbread men!

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Kate Tabor January 3, 2009 at 2:43 pm

Love those googly eyeballs!! Wish our shortbread snowmen had some of those…

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