Ug. Gs.

by Marinka on February 8, 2010

Mi$$ing. Six weeks young.

Two weeks ago, my daughter lost a kazillion dollar pair of Uggs. I didn’t think that it was possible for sober people to lose boots, but it is. A team sport was involved, traveling to a different school, changing in the locker room and leaving the boots behind.

“You may kiss them as a goodbye,” Mama told me. Mama was convinced that the Uggs were stolen. “Because everyone is a thief, especially in this economy. Looks like your Obama didn’t save us. False prophet.”

I wasn’t so sure. Not about Obama, but that the UGGs were stolen.
“Where did you leave them?” I asked my daughter. Because that nugget of information was going to crack this case wide open. My daughter was deeply involved with her beloved Macbook. Which made her not an ideal witness.
“What?” she asked, without looking up.
“Where did you leave the boots?” I asked her again.
“Don’t know.”
“It’s important that you try to remember. They are expensive and I don’t want to have to buy another pair.”
“You know,” she said, still Carrie Bradshawing away on the Mac. “This conversation isn’t making me feel very good.”
You’ll be shocked to hear that her feeling good was not at the top of my list of things I gave a shit about.
“You need to figure this out,” I told her and went to seethe silently in the kitchen.
Fortunately, mama was there waiting for me.
“Everything is your fault,” she comforted me. “You and all you Americans. Throwing money at children. Why 11 year old child has to have $500 pair of boots.”
“They’re not $500.”
“$200, $500, it’s the same thing.”
“How is that possibly the same thing?” Suddenly, I’m Ben Bernanke. (Apparently, that’s the name of the Chairman of the Federal Reserve. I just asked Husbandrinka who the new Greenspan was and he said “well, he’s been Chairman for the past four years.” What can I say? I was really attached to Greenspan.)
“It’s the same thing because it means that you shouldn’t buy expensive things for children. You buy it, they lose it, you lose money.”
“This conversation is not helping,” I tell her. Which I realize is the adult version of this conversation isn’t making me feel very good.

* * *

The next day, my daughter checked at school.
“They weren’t in the lost & found,” she told me. “And what sucks is that if someone found the boots, they would have donated them to the shoe drive that we have at school.”
“What shoe drive at school?”
“We’re collecting shoes for Haiti.”
“Why do people in Haiti need UGGs?”
“Everyone needs UGGs.”

So now in addition to facing thieves, we’re dealing with an international relief effort. It’s like the world doesn’t want my daughter to be warm this winter.

* * *

“Listen,” I tell Husbandrinka. “She needs to learn that there are consequences to her actions.”
“Okay,” Husbandrinka concedes.
“Like, she loses the boots and them POOF! a new pair of boots appears.”
“She should go barefoot.”
“No, she shouldn’t go barefoot, but she should pay for the new pair herself.”
“That sounds like a good idea, except she doesn’t have any money.”
“She gets an allowance.”
“It would take her a year to pay for boots.”
Husbandrinka and I agree that it is, indeed, a dilemma.

* * *
I compose a blog post in which I seek readers’ wisdom on this dilemma, with a subtle plea for UGGs to come through and save our family.
Unfortunately, before I publish the post, my daughter calls the gym of their last basketball game and the boots are located. A happy reunion follows.

And lesson definitely learned: Make some calls.

One year ago ...

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{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }

February 8, 2010 at 2:20 am

I think you should punish her for almost losing the boots. You know, just to see her face when you jump out from behind a curtain and yell KIDDING!


Sophie February 8, 2010 at 5:08 am

What I don’t understand is how come she was in posession of the macbook AT ALL during the conversation. I’d have snatched it out of her hend the first second she wasn’t paying attention. But then again, I’m a hot headed mama of a 2-yr old.


Sharon February 8, 2010 at 7:16 am

Glad you found them! Damn those Uggs are expensive! And that’s exactly what I say everytime I buy a pair … ‘ugg!’


the mama bird diaries
February 8, 2010 at 9:28 am

I made calls. Where the hell is my Juicy coat?!

And why was your ring on the banana? Why are you ignoring us all? It’s so rude.


February 8, 2010 at 9:37 am

This posts makes me think of my childhood shoes. I got one pair a semester, or 3 really ugly pairs of shoes from Sears because they were 3 for $12. Yup, that’s right! I still remember because it was horrible. We were poor. (FYI, the oil industry is NOT always making money.) Now, I live in a NYC high rise and stare at my Uggs, and other various over priced shoes and wonder why I NEED them all. Cannot come up with an answer aside from WANTING them.
Maybe she just needs to learn the lesson that she is lucky to have such nice shoes. I know I hadn’t thought about how lucky I was to have money to buy new shoes until reading this post.


Carolyn Online
February 8, 2010 at 9:38 am

Are you telling me that mama was wrong and they weren’t stolen and Obama is a real prophet?


February 8, 2010 at 10:21 am

i love Uggs, just bought another pair last night online, and i agree with both yours and Mama’s points of view. your daughter needs to learn that ‘not caring for possessions can cause one to lose possessions’ and take away her macbook for, like, a week and if she has school work to do she has to use the family computer. no internet access for FB, Twitter, MySpace, Twilight chatroom, or anything else.


February 8, 2010 at 10:25 am

I wish your mama lived next door to me. She crackes me up.

On my daughter’s 16th birthday, we parked a cute shiny black Honda Civic in the driveway with a giant pink bow on it. 3 weeks later she totalled it. Immediately another car appeared. A butt ass ugly stewed-tomato colored Geo.

Next time, be certain her replacement boots come from Payless. That is the answer.


February 8, 2010 at 10:59 am

My kids boots came from Target. He lost them last week. I went on ebay to find some nice used ones in next years size. Poof, old boots magically reappeared. Magic!


Pop and Ice
February 8, 2010 at 11:57 am

I wore corrective shoes most of my childhood and your daughter has UGGs?! Where’s the fairness in that!

P.S. Shhhhhh. I bought my daughter a pair of UGGs as well. But she hasn’t lost them and it’s going on two years so I guess my kid is just more responsible than your kid. JUST KIDDING!!!!


February 8, 2010 at 11:58 am

Yeah, why was your ring on the banana? The hidden symbolism is killing me.


Maddnessofme February 8, 2010 at 12:38 pm

I agree with the Payless suggestion. But then, the farthest I would go for my 11 year old was a pair of Skechers look a likes, on sale for $38. They are warmer than Uggs anyway.

They just don’t have a concept of money.


I'm Nate's Mom February 8, 2010 at 1:06 pm

Last fall, Nate “lost” his skate shoes and a new pair of jeans at running practice. He seemed unconcerned, so I told him I was not replacing them, and he could wear his running shoes to school (the horror!) until he outgrew them. The kid cried himself to sleep. Turned out his best friend Nate had accidentally taken his bag home, so happy ending. I wonder if I would have caved?


SoccerMom February 8, 2010 at 1:23 pm

My mothers the same. Thinks we spend too much on our kids now a days. My son lost a $40 dollar soccer ball at a tournament once, during warm ups. Well it wasnt lost someone stole it but at that point it didnt really matter cause it was G O N E. It was the last time I bought him a ball that cost so much. However my son insist on us buying him $180 dollar soccer cleats, so I make him pay half.


always home and uncool
February 8, 2010 at 2:40 pm

Get thee to a Payless. They sell knock offs for $30.


joeinvegas February 8, 2010 at 2:58 pm

Next time reach over and turn off that Mac and make her start remembering, and looking. (of course there will be a next time)


February 8, 2010 at 3:52 pm

My son lost his NorthFace fleece last year in kindergarten (still not found) and I told him the price (on sale – of course – Im Polish – we don’t pay full price for anything) and that he needed to purchase a new one.

He was shocked that we paid that much and ended up buying a fugly fleece from Target on his own (still not lost – much to my dismay).

Moral of the story. Taught my son a lesson and now he looks ugly on the playground.


Jonathan February 8, 2010 at 7:24 pm

We are also having a shoe drive for Haiti at work – I was going to go down and dig through them to look for uggs to send you. I figured it would be even swap for the Haitians. Glad she found them, Looks like Obama gets a gold star!


February 8, 2010 at 8:10 pm

“Everyone needs UGGs.”

She came just short of the “…duh”, sister. I would tell you to punish her but I lose things and say “duh” all the time. To everyone. In my opinion she’s hilarious and totally right about everything. You can tell her an internet stranger said that. But tell her NOT to take any other advice from us. We are predators.


Heather (qtberryhead) February 9, 2010 at 12:42 am

My daughter got Uggs, because MINE were always on HER feet. Which was kind of kick ass when the hubby wanted me to shovel the walk…”Sorry Sweetie. Ettienne hijacked my boots today.” I leave out the fact that I have several other pairs of boots.
So, I guess your daughter would say “everyone needs more than one pair of Uggs”.


Gretchen February 9, 2010 at 2:05 am

I don’t have Uggs. I want Uggs. Can I be your daughter?

And now I too have to know…why was your ring on the banana? I have no idea what this means. But it sounds intriguing and I’m extremely curious by nature…


February 9, 2010 at 10:16 am

For future reference in the hard-ass parenting department: my sister lost a pair of glasses once. GLASSES. As in: she could not see properly without them. My father made her pay half the replacement cost for a new pair. She was about 7 at the time. Her allowance was 50 cents per week. He kept a running tab in a notebook. 25 cents per week went towards the glasses. It did, indeed, take her about a year to pay for them.

(Did I mention we all had to walk to school, uphill both ways, in the snow, without any UGGS at all?)


February 9, 2010 at 11:07 am

When I first saw that photo, I thought those were the legs of some grossly overweight person with strange hair sprouting (had Oprah gained her weight back, maybe?) and that this post was going to be about the importance weight loss. Imagine my relief.


Jonathan February 10, 2010 at 1:04 am

I did too!!! I was incredibly shocked and felt assaulted at first. I didn’t know what was going on and then realized it was boots and was able to breathe normally again.


Birdie February 9, 2010 at 11:49 am

I just finished Dan Brown’s “The Lost Symbol,” so I’m certain there’s a much deeper, darker meaning to the ring on the bannana. Like, it’s probably an unsolved puzzle. Try putting the half bagel on top of the ring and the bannana. Or the ring and bannana on top of the half bagel. There’s a secret message in there somewhere.


anna see February 9, 2010 at 12:35 pm

you had me on the edge of my seat on this one, marinka! glad she and the Uggs have been reunited… and it feels so good.


Happy Hour Sue February 10, 2010 at 11:43 am

No lie: my friend Chrissy’s daughter lost hers at school (???) so Chrissy POSTED REWARD FLYERS all over the school. Boots found, daughter traumatized for life.


magpie February 12, 2010 at 5:07 pm

My daughter wants Uggs. I will not succumb. Fickle six year old girls who keep growing do not need >$100 shoes.


Kate Coveny Hood
February 13, 2010 at 2:51 am

I LOVE the full circle mother-daughter conversation themes.

And I just noticed that I’ve started 50% of my comments this evening with “I LOVE”. Think I’m going to come up with some new variations…don’t want to be a commenting one note…


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